Archives for February 2010

NLP Communication Tips – Modal Operators

NLP is one of the most amazing tools for understanding language patterns and the meanings behind those spoken words.

NLP Coaches and Therapists are able to gather a staggering amount of information through observations and asking questions designed to help clients achieve their goals .

Here is an examples that you can try out yourself.

The word “should“…

  • You should do XYZ
  • You should see XYZ
  • You should go to XYZ

The word “should” is one you may have heard from your parents or family members, this is their opinion for an action that they want you to take.

Maybe you don’t agree and don’t think that you should do anything. The problem with challenging this word is you may get into conflict if you don‘t do it, or ask them why you should.

So if you get asked this question, a great answer is… “What would happen if I didn’t…”

This would uncover the intention behind their opinion and would open a discussion to diffuse any misunderstandings.

Also many people talk to themselves this way, I should go to the gym, I should set-up that business. If this sounds like you, then you’ll need to discover why this block is present and what’s the intention behind your use of the word “should”.

Give it a try and see how you get on…

Life Coaching & NLP Change work

NLP Change work

Where does your road go?

As you sit scanning this page, I know you are curious to discover if you have stumbled onto the possiblity that may deliver the changes you want most in your life.

However you are probably sceptical, and it’s good to be that way.

You have probably tried to make changes before, not all of them have stuck and you may still want to learn how you can learn easily whilst noticing all the changes you really want to make.

Start to notice what you notice about the life that you have now, can you be comfortable to share with yourself all the areas that are not working and turn your mind to what needs to change.

Do you think that there is a better life than the one you have now? That’s right, there could be, and it’s good to be that way because it keeps you active, and wondering.

You know, you know yourself, and only when you are comfortable now, will you be happy to challenge your thoughts and make massive shifts towards the goals deep inside you, the ones you have always had and were too afraid to face. Maybe you have yet to discover who you really are.

Is now the time to take action? Is now the time to wake your life and ignite a future of opportunities and turn an average life into one you can look back on and be proud of!

It’s your road and your journey… only you can decide…

The golden rule for a successful relationship?

What feelings is your partner attaching to you
without you knowing?

No matter whether you’re dating, married, or trying to save your relationship there is one rule that you must know.

When you help someone to feel great about themselves when they are in your company, they will attach all their great feelings to time spent with you.

But beware, the reverse is also true and you may not know it’s happening.

Become an anchor for happiness

Help your partner to feel great about themselvess when they are with you today, this is the single best action you can take for relationship success. All of their senses will tune into your voice, the way you look, the way you smell and where they were when they felt great, these are triggers being created for moments in time, this is what we call an anchor.

When a past memory is created, it can be remembered through a trigger such as a sound, a sight or a smell that is the same or similar to that past experience.

This anchoring process is at play when people are dating. It is one of the reason the couple can’t get enough of each other. They both get addicted to their own feelings and then crave more of each other.

Longer term successful relationships still need those anchors to survive.

Whilst our relationship values change as the relationship matures. Values like long term security become one of the anchors that help us all to feel good about ourselves in our relationships.

We still need to feel confident that our partners care enough to want us to feel great and that the relationship is not being held together by just one person.

For example a woman may feel that she is being taken for granted. So now she’s attaching bad feeling to the man. She may take all that built up anger out on him over something small which to him seems an emotional over reaction.

Now both people in this relationship are starting to attach bad feelings to each other.

She is at fault for assuming he is a mind reader and knows what she is feeling. He is at fault for assuming he knows what’s caused her to become upset. Confused they both attach bad feelings to each other.

It’s the little things

Of course these little things will not break the relationship, but over time they can build-up, and resentment can become a very powerful emotion that can override the value of security.

When your partner attaches a lack of security to you then the relationship is in real trouble.

Relationships that are in trouble have helped either one or both people to experience bad feelings and attached those feeling to their partners, avoid this today.

Discover how you can help your partner to feel great about themselves in your company and take action now! Your relationships are valuable so look after them.

Re-ignite those good anchors. One great idea is to re-create a time when you both felt great such as a first date or a special restaurant. Take yourselves back in time and remember all the reason why you got together in the beginning.

Try it and let me know how you get on in your comments section below.

Weight loss without the diets

weight loss image

Weight loss the easy way.

One of the big problems with weight loss is you are usually presented with a diet.

What a diet is designed to do is provide your body with less calories per day than your body needs. This simple strategy is designed to slowly reduce your bodies conversion of food into fat stores.

This will then reduce your weight.

So far so good, the problem with this strategy is the focus of your attack is on the food you eat. This then highlights what you are missing.

You are now not only missing your favourite foods, you are also hungry. This combination is very likely to fail.

So there is a solution.

Instead of attacking the food you eat to reduce weight why not try increasing your activity each day and lose weight without thinking.

You do this by using a low cost Pedometer (I have listed some below stocked by

This pedometer keeps an account of all the steps you take in one day. The more steps you take the more calories you will burn. You can increase your fat burning by just walking a bit further each day.

Take the stairs at work or park a little further away and then see how well you did at the end of the day

Better yet, why not turn this into a challenge with your partner or some friends and see who wins. Once you start to feel fitter then you may decide that the food your are eating may need some small changes.

But for now don’t go on a diet, don’t spend £100’s on a gym have some fun first and see how you get on and track your results.