Archives for May 2010

Diabetes Fund Raising For Research

This is Bradley my son

On the 22nd of December 2009 i rushed him to hospital very ill, where he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

He has been very brave, but with your help his life could be the one he dreamed of…

…This challenge is to create as much money as possible to fund research to improve the qualitiy of life for Bradley and all those affected by diabetes.

Thank you for your Generosity!

Please donate here

How to keep your man happy

If you want to keep your man, then you’ll need this important secret to unlocking the power in him to make you feel like a woman.

Just like you every man is different, but…

There are some basic principals for you to understand if you are to get the best out of him, help him to feel great about himself and attach all those amazing feelings to you.

There is a myth that all men are only really interested in one thing – It’s the butt of many jokes, but is also a rule that most women believe and so live by in their relationships.

Yes it’s true men do want that, BUT..!

There is one thing that men want more than that, and until women understand this basic rule they will always find they’ll have problems with him… I’ll explain…

This is your lesson:

“Your Man wants to be able to make you happy… More than anything!”

This is important: When she is not happy then a man will think he has failed her and himself. Even if what she is not happy about is not his fault he will try to help her fix it. Nine times out of ten she doesn’t want him to fix anything and she get frustrated, because all she wants to do is share her feelings. He takes this as a rejection and further proof of his inability to help her be happy.

Did you ever notice how good he feels when he does something you really like?

If a man starts to experience that his efforts are not making his partner happy he will start to feel really bad about himself. He will then at some point have his thoughts confirmed as his partner will mention she is not happy with his behaviour on some level.

If a man experiences this too many times he will stop trying to please her, because to him whatever he does will be pointless and will associate him with failure and more bad feelings to attach to his woman. If he loves her he will hate these feelings and reject himself further.

He will feel totally insignificant in the relationship and go to where in can feel important outside of the relationship. This could be friends, hobbies, working late or if he is feeling a real failure an affair could be an option.

This will cause even more problems because whatever he’s is doing it is not spending time with her. The woman will now be left alone, feel unappreciated and she will complain about that. This feeds even more proof that he can never be successful with her.

So what’s the solution? How can you keep him?

Give him as many ways to please you as possible. Make it really easy for him to make you feel good,  when he starts feeling like a man again it won’t belong before he makes you feel like a woman.

If you want something fixed go to him with something you know he can fix. If you want to share your feelings, go talk to your girl friends or keep it to ten minutes with him, but no more, because he does not have a clue what you are talking about. Remember to let him know he does not have to do or say anything, just listen.

When he starts to feel that he is at last doing a good job, he will start to want to do more, he will feel great about himself and attach his great feeling and success to his woman.

Understanding his needs are critical for your relationship to be success get addicted to doing that and he will never leave you!

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How to Stay Together – Relationship Problems

Relationship problems – how to stay together is still a question for many couples on the brink of collapse.

With the sustained rise in relationship problems splits and divorce still on the rise, couples are still not getting the message of how to stay together. If they keep on doing what they have been doing, then they will keep getting what they away got – more problems! Lets look at what’s happening and what needs to change.

Imagine for a moment what is important to you in your life. What would you miss if it wasn’t there? Home, job, husband, wife, partner, money I’m sure you can list many more.

So what do you do on a regular basis to make sure you keep all of those things?

  • If you have a home I expect you pay the rent or the mortgage each month because if you didn’t you would lose it.
  • If you have a job then if you did not do your best and turn up each day then you would lose that job. What you are doing is applying the right focus to those things to make sure you keep them.

The shocking truth

What would have to happen for you to lose your relationship? The shocking truth is just carry on doing what you’re doing. It’s the best route to disaster. I have read several studies that all point to the same conclusion. Couples do not talk to each other. The reports are suggesting that couples spend on average 20 minutes per week or 3 minutes a day in focused meaningful conversation.

Think back to when you were dating. How much time did you spend in meaningful conversation and focused fun? If your date was 2/3 hours that’s a lot of time and energy spent on you both. So why did you do that?

You did it because you had a goal. That goal was more dates, sex, love, marriage, great feelings, and fun, we all have our own agendas. But the bottom line was you felt great about you, your future and your partner. By dating, you created hope.

Where have your goals gone?

Now ask yourself how exciting does you future look now? If it does not look great and you are now bored you are entering the relationship danger zone. You can also guarantee that if you are feeling bored or unhappy then your partner is too. The less you communicate the worse it gets and before you know it either one of you is dreaming of a different life or an affair is on the horizon. The next step is to blame your partner or the relationship. You will feel resentment of not getting the life you thought you were going to get and this is likely to turn into a lack of respect. Once you get to that stage a break-up is very likely, is that what you really want?

We have nothing to talk about!

Many couples complain that they have nothing to talk about and they are right, they have different jobs roles and lives the common factor they have is live under the same roof so what can they talk about? Kids, money, their day, the grass needs cutting, no wonder they don‘t want to talk.

So what did they discuss when they were first dating? What they talked about then was their future, they created exciting goals, of future dates, weekends away, great nights out. Then these goal progressed to living together getting married, getting rich! Who knows what it was that excited you about your future with your partner but something did. Without goals, there would be no second date or a relationship and you can’t create goals if you don’t talk. Creating an exciting life together is your goal, this is where you start.

You have not lost your love you have lost your future.

You have not lost your love or your passion you are basically still the same people you both fell in love with, but by not communicating you have both successfully killed the relationship without realising. This is not the fault of the relationship it is the fault of the actions or lack of them.

You have heard people say

“We need to split up because this relationship is going nowhere”.
In translation it means that the couple has not created goals for their future, Therefore neither one can’t see a future so the conclusion is the relationship must be wrong.

Very oftern this is a cry for help.

What has happened is you have both failed in applying the very thing your relationship needs for it to survive, an exciting future. Create that first and in return you will both create fulfilled lives littered with fantastic memories rather than poor ones you might already have.

Start today, sit with your partner, and create a life together. What have you always dreamed of doing both personally and in the relationship? Decide and design the life you both want and then take the steps to achieve that life. Create small steps towards those bigger goals and work together at it.

Now you have lots to talk about and an exciting future of possibilities. In this world of plenty, the opportunities are endless. Get excited together, go, and get the life you know you both deserve.

Take action now and rediscover yourself and your partner again. Click “Relationship Help & Advce” to discover more ways to stay together and fast!

Stephen Hedger offers Relationship help at the Haddenham Health Centre

Stephen Hedger is now offering private and confidential relationship help at the Haddenham Health Centre in Buckinghamshire.

Stephen helps couple with all types of relationship issues and emergencies.

Services also cover help with associated problems

  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Anxiety

If you would like more information please call on 0845 519 4808