How To Stop Arguing With A Partner

There is one great thing about arguing is that you are still passionate enough about your relationship to want to communicate something to your partner.

No matter how abusive it gets it shows that you care about something.

The time your relationship is in real trouble is when you both stop arguing because you know there is no point as there is no longer a future worth fighting about.

So if you are still fighting then there is hope for you both.

It is worth noting that whilst you are both shouting no one is listing so if you want to get a message across this is not the best way.

Simple steps to stopping the argument

You must agree to stop now, regardless who is right or wrong, because you are achieving nothing positive for your relationship.

Agree to assume nothing regarding the reason behind the arguing because the root cause may be a reason neither of you are aware of and blaming each other will only cause more problems.

Try to find out what is your fight about, do you both know. It is not uncommon for both parties to be fighting and one or both don’t really know why, or they both know why but one does not understand.

Are you just picking at each other? There could be a deeper reason or resentment that one of you is harbouring?

Understanding the real reason behind arguments is the goal, however the reasons can be very complicated and sometime not really understood by the person starting the argument.

Something inside is feeling bad and this is the trigger for arguing.

  • Are you arguing because you fear something, if so what?
  • Are you trying to protect something if so what is it?

If you both cannot work out what is going wrong then there could be deeper issues driving a fear which has no logical relationship to your argument.

 

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