Long-Distance Relationships

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Long-Distance RelationshipsThis
week, Doc Love helps a reader navigate the world of
with advice from “The System.”

reader’s question

Hey Doc,I’d been seeing Brenda, a single mum with two kids, for a short
while. We live about 45 minutes away from each other and had a handful of dates. She
admitted to me that she’s been seeing someone who lives in her town and that
she’s felt herself growing closer to him.

distance and dating

Now, how much of an issue is distance when it comes to dating? I don’t think 45
minutes away is that far. Alternatively, I’m hesitant to date anyone outside of my
city, but in the event I meet someone from out of town again, I’d like to know how I
might handle it better. There aren’t many options here in my town.I also
want to add that I always seem to get stuck at three or four dates with a woman, and this
happens at about the one-month period. The only one that didn’t end in that period
of time was a short-term “fake” relationship where the woman went back to her
ex, later married him and divorced him. This has become quite frustrating for me because
it seems like I can’t even get into a relationship with a woman. Everyone tells me all the stupid cliches: “Don’t try so hard.” (I
don’t.) “Girls don’t like the nice
.” (I’m not your typical nice guy.) “It will happen when you
least expect it.” (I’m not expecting anything.)Doc, I’m 30
and would love for my luck to change. I sometimes think I would benefit from having
someone right alongside me to help me, but I have no clue how to begin with that.Thank you for your time.Marcellus – who’s hit a

doc love’s response

Hi Marcellus,Whoa. Wait a minute here. You’re telling me that
you’re dating a woman who is telling you that she’s seeing someone else and
that her Interest Level in this other guy is going up? Doesn’t that tell you that
you’re out of this long-distance relationship? Like my Uncle Jethro Love says,
“Boy, she’s usin’ a bullhorn right in your face!” And
doesn’t that tell you that this whole thing is all a waste of time? Doesn’t
this tell you that you’re coming in second in the horse race? Like my cousin Fast
Eddie Love says, “Nobody remembers who comes in second at the track. Only the
winners pay off.”

do long-distance relationships work?

To answer your question about long distance, the truth is that it’s a big deal. To
you Psych majors: If you live 5 or 10 minutes away from a girl, it’s easy to date
her and use Challenge. But when she lives 45 minutes to an hour away, you naturally will
have to see her less and your planning has to be much stricter. Basically, everything is
much harder in a long-distance relationship. How do you handle this situation better? You
can’t. The girl has to live closer to you. The rule is that the shorter the
distance between the two of you, the better off you are. As far as the local options are
concerned, you haven’t met every girl in your town, have you, Marcellus?The reason you keep getting stuck at the one-month period with girls is because
you’re doing things wrong. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says,
“What happens is that the girl likes you on the first date, you’re pretty good
on the second date, on the third date things start going downhill, and by the fourth date,
you’re out.” This happens to lots of guys. And it happens because they say and
do all the wrong things because they don’t have my programme, “The System.” And this is apparently what’s
happening in your case, my friend. More advice on dealing with a long-distance
relationship next…

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