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Have you ever been frustrated at your man. You ask him to do something and you get no action like your words mean nothing to him and what you want is not important.
Take some time to consider the words you are using because this can make a big difference to what a man thinks when you speak.
If you speak in a way that questions his ability to do something then he will feel you are questioning his ability eg. Can you fix the gate? Or could you pick up some shopping for me?
Change the can
If your relationship has gone bad then something has changed.
To grow your relationship you have to have exciting compelling goals together. When you first met you and your partner had goals to see each other, goals to learn more about each other, goals to get them to like you. Goals to have passionate weekends away, goals to live together, goals buy a house, goals to get married goals to have children.
In the early days with a life so full of goals you both felt so close and alive and so you wanted the next adventure together.
What happens in most relationships is the goals die. Life takes over work, friends, hobbies, children and money become the new goals and the relationship gets left out.
When the goals die the relationship dies, the couple struggle to see the point of being together although they may stay together longer if they have better financial security together than apart.
If this happen then on top of a dead relationship come resentment and a lack of respect for each other.
Here
Are you in a trading relationship? Does your partner have to do something for you before you will do something for them, or is it the other way around?
Maybe you are doing this because your parents did, think back, were your parents loving to each other when they were like this or was the atmosphere hard and lacking softness and love.
If you and your partner live in this life then the passion love and respect will have gone or be on its way out.
The only way to get the passion back into your life is to give, give and give some more, and ask for nothing in return.
Then watch as if by magic your relationship takes on a whole new meaning. Try it let me know how you get on.
Has it ever occurred to you that relationship problems could be caused by chemicals that affect your brain.
For example if you…
These all have huge affects on our relationships because there is no way we are able to be ourselves.
If your brain is operating at reduced levels how to you think this will affect your behaviours and how will these less than normal behaviours affect your relationship.
Anything that affects the brain will affect your ability to be you. So dehydration, either through not drinking or substances like caffeine will have a huge impact.
If you have stopped learning your brain will slow down, attractive people have lively active minds and they exercise at least 3 times per week.
As humans we are designed to grow and to do this we must look after ourselves. Just like we must look after our relationships and we can’t do that if our brains are unwell because of how we treat them.
Have you ever wondered why men and women struggle to understand each other?
There are many, many reasons, but here is one that might help.
Do you notice that women can talk and talk and talk and never really seem to have a point. For example they can go on a shopping trip and talk at length at everything they did and saw, tried on liked and disliked.
Why when women talk about their day like this do men switch off.
Are the men bored of hearing the women talk, is this a sign something is going wrong in the relationship, do you both need to talk about he fact your not talking like you both used to?
No the men get frustrated because they are constantly looking for ways to help women (note if he has stopped doing this then there will be a reason), the longer there is nothing to fix the more frustrated they become and so they give up.
The woman notices everything and so she sees the man give up and then gives it a meaning, such as he is going off her, doesn
One of the biggest reason couples split up is because they assume they know the meanings behind what their partner does or says.
I hear many couples telling each other what they meant and then they argue about it.
These assumptions can build up stacking more and more untruths on top of each other.
These untruths build up a negative set of beliefs and before long the victim of this bad press gets blamed for all the wrongs they have done.
Confused they defend themselves and this only make the situation worse.
Never assume your partner has a negative intention in anything they say or do because most of the time you will be wrong.
If you are unsure or confused then ask them what they meant.
Getting involved in relationships no matter what age you are can be the most amazing experience and the most traumatic.
When someone experiences a break up the whole world comes to a grinding halt.
The pain can be excruciating, you try everything to get away from the pain but nothing works, it follows you everywhere even into your dreams.
Anyone with a broken heart will run situations, conversations or images of their partner and what happened over and over in their head.
It is this constant focus on all this information related to what has happened is what’s causing the pain.
What also happens is the person goes through a grieving process where the future they imagined now cannot exist so they feel a sense of loss.
Turn your focus to you an image of you both together in five years time, both unhappy and arguing, you comfort eating and gaining weight he’s out drinking and chatting up easy girls – in other words create a future you don’t want and run that one over and over.
Whatever your focus on make sure it’s an image of the life you don’t want.
This way your focus will change and the pain will go faster…
If you need help call me.
Unconditional love is usually reserved for children. We feel that we have to hold back this special love from our partners because they could leave us, not find us attractive any more, find someone else or fall out of love with us.
This fear is stopping you having the relationship you really want. This fear will put you on guard, your partner will notice your guard is up and so they put theirs up. All this happens without you both knowing.
If you have committed your life to your partner, then be true to your word and give your partner the real you, not the fearful one or the one who trades their love – I’ll only do this if you if you do this for me.
Whatever you want, you must first give in bucket loads first. If you want to receive trust then give trust. If you want to receive love then give your love. If you want respect give respect if you want unconditional love then give it today and every day!
No excuses no matter what you believe your partner has done, give the very best of yourself.
When both people in a relationship love each other unconditionally the fears are removed and in it’s place sits passion and a deeper connection that free and peaceful.
I was recently reading that one of the top reasons relationships break up is due to wives moaning at their husbands.
Now! I know that when a woman complains, the words she uses bears no relationship to the real reason she is complaining, but the man doesn
Going to a professional to get professional relationship help is a big step for any couple. The biggest worries are how much will it cost and what type of relationship help is going to work for us.
Do you choose
A professional low cost session with a counsellor/therapist would cost you about
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