About The Author: Stephen Hedger

stephenc

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couple uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need for a success and lasting passionate connection.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.

Top 10 mistakes all couples in crisis are making

I’m going to share with you today 10 mistakes all couples in crisis are making that can put their relationship under real stress.

These are in no particular order, but each can have a powerfully negative impact. Compound these behaviours over time and the relationship is now heading for a very bumpy ride.

  1. Become your partners judge.
  2. Making your partner wrong.
  3. Threaten the end of the relationship.
  4. Help your partner to feel bad about themselves.
  5. Holding back love.
  6. Expect more of your partner than you do of yourself.
  7. Have no plan for the relationship.
  8. Make other areas of your life more important than them.
  9. They must think and act the same as you.
  10. Manipulate them to get what you want.

Relationships are a place where the couple MUST [Read more...]

She said the change was mind-blowing!

Recently I was asked by a psychologist looking to work with me, why do I think I was getting such great results with couples that came to me in terrible crisis?

My answer was simple, I treat every couples problem as totally unique. I then help the individuals to understand themselves and each other in a way that helps two intelligent people decide what they want to do.

What this means is every person and every couple will receive a totally different approach to their problem.

Very often people hesitate to come in to see me in fear of what I might find. My message is people don’t need to be fixed, there is nothing wrong with them. [Read more...]

We are not naturally designed to live together for life – so we need skills to achieve this dream…

When you look at divorce statistics, relationship failures and the the volume of people choosing to have affairs, one thing feels very clear. Men and women are really struggling to live together in a meaningful way for both people.

In todays post I’m going to talk about some of the skills I’m teaching couples in crisis to help them naturally rebuild their relationship, and their attraction so it naturally recreates their sexually energy.

Men and women are ill equipped to live together and so they suffer from very similar problems in terms of understanding each other their relationship and what it takes to really make it work. They end up losing feelings of love and attraction for their partner. So I have to help these couples learn what’s happened to lose these feelings and what we have to do to bring them back.

I’m now seeing 20 couples couples in crisis a week and although all their problems are all very unique what they are all doing is very common.. [Read more...]

How Rebuild Trust After An Affair?

One of my specialisms is in helping couples rebuild their relationship after discovering an affair. The secret to repairing a broken relationship after an affair is to help them understand why it happened and then help them build a brand new relationship. 

Couples who reconnect after an affair and learnt how to create a successful marriage, ultimately see the affair as a wake up call that actually saved their relationship from years of suffering.

Without doubt an affair is a shockingly horrible experience, however an affair is just one of the many destructive symptoms a couple can experience if they don’t learn how to create a relationship that lasts. [Read more...]

Want to learn the skills and tools to stop the problems and make your relationship work again?

After developing a marriage breakthrough program for couples in crisis and applying it to the man on the street, major celebrities, to business leaders and entrepreneurs and successfully bringing these couples back from the brink of divorce time-after-time.

Here are a few of the key principals I have learnt on this amazing journey with couples right on the edge of divorce.

1. The most important focus for any couple.

I have learnt that this decision is critical not just in maintaining a successful marriage, but an essential part of the relationship building process.

Put your partner first..! If your partner feelsthat anything is more important than them expect problems. What could affect them could be anything from the attractive single person in the office, to a seemingly non-threatening hobby. This is really important, no matter what, they have to feel they come first… [Read more...]

Relationship Mastery: What’s the real fight?

What happens when a person has learnt (without knowing) a way to protect themselves from feeling emotionally hurt, but what they have learnt will never lead them to happiness?

In intimate relationships this desire to protect oneself is heighten. In intimate relationships we feel more at risk of being hurt than almost any other area of life.

In their quest to protect themselves I see many people running old outdated patterns of behaviour that was designed for a different life condition and a different time.

I see many people adopting new models of behaviour they think will protect them, but will only limit their life and make it smaller. [Read more...]

The shocking truth…

Many couples are living together disconnected passionless and miserable not because they are incompatible or wrong for each other, it’s because they simply don’t know how to live together.

So in todays post I’m going to highlight the thinking that is causing couples so many problems.

The challenge we all face growing up is, we are given the idea that ‘the wrong principles are the route to a safe and happy life.

So below are a few common illusions that have the ability to create significant emotion challenges in those that practice them. [Read more...]

#701: Marriages are failing because of a lack of action

Couples are not seeing the danger they are in until the danger is upon them. Lack of action causes the many problems that ultimately lead a couple to divorce.

Couples who are looking to stop their problems must now take the action(s) that are going to heal the specific situation they are in. They must then take the action(s) that ensures the relationship will last.

What the couples were not aware of is they should have been taking specific actions from the first day they met.

The problem: People feel good when they first meet and they don’t question why, or how their feeling(s) were created. [Read more...]

#700: Want to save your marriage? Then you must learn how to become attractive to your partner…

One of the key ingredients to a successful marriage is to keep the attraction/passion alive. What I see most couples doing is they practice acting in very unattractive ways that actually repel their partner.

Men and women are choosing to live together without learning about how different they really are. They make assumptions about their partner that creates resentments that become a powerfully negative force.

So when problems strike they don’t know how to translate their partners actions so they automatically assume the worst.

When this happens this is the start of big trouble for any couple.

So one of my missions for my clients is to help them learn the steps they need to keep that attraction alive for life.

At the end of todays post you will see how I helped one man see that he was shutting her down in his quest to be safe with her. [Read more...]

#699: All Roads Lead to Rome: Divorce Prevention

If you want to save your marriage, or simply keep it safe from problems then please take a few moments to absorb a fundamental life skill you are going to need.

People who decide that leaving the relationship is a good idea are doing so because they reach what they feel is a dead end. For many this dead end feeling can lead them to take actions they might regret so it’s important to help them if you can.

This is where they can land… [Read more...]

#698: The 3 Reasons Marriages Are Failing

Today I going to share with you 3 massive areas of focus that are foundational in collapsing a marriage.

Far too many couples are not understanding why they are in trouble. They make the wrong assumption… there is no hope! They then use that emotion of no hope to break up their family.

Below are 3 core reasons couples get themselves in trouble and how resentments can start to stack to destroy their marriage. [Read more...]

#697: Want to save your marriage? Learn how to become valuable in the eyes of your partner.

One of the life’s’ fundamental secrets to a successful life is fulfilment. Fulfilment is the power that sits behind adding value and growing what’s important in your life.

After working for 15 years with individuals and couples from all walks of life, I can tell you that successful people think differently.

So if you want to be successful in your relationship and you’re currently not. Now might be the time to work out how couples in successful relationships think differently.  [Read more...]

#696: Resentments high and passion low – There is a natural window of opportunity to sort this out?

When a persons marriage is NOT turning out to be the way they hoped it would be, they are going to start stacking resentments towards their partner. This has the ability to have a powerfully destructive affect on this couples marriage without them knowing.

In today post I’m going to talk about a powerfully hidden force that couples don’t discover until it’s too late and an opportunity to discuss their relationship with me for free.

When a person stacks resentment towards their partner they have the ability to help the person start to create negative attachments to their partner and their relationship.

The resentments will move them towards creating an automatic filter that converts most things in the relationship into a negative experience.

Their husband or wife can start to feel that nothing they do works or is ever good enough. [Read more...]

#695: What do you do when you think your marriage is over?

When a couples marriage is hitting the rocks it’s hard enough, but when one person then becomes vulnerable to a third party what chance does this couple now have to save their marriage?

Even they were skeptical it could be saved.

Todays post is a transcript of an interview conducted with two clients Belinda and John a married couple who were on the verge of divorce. The interview was conducted after they had been through “The Marriage Breakthrough Program”. [Read more...]

#694: The power of one 30 minute call with Stephen Hedger

A few weeks back I offered over 9000 readers of this blog the opportunity to speak with me for free. The call would last 30 minutes and would be my thoughts on their relationship challenge.

When the email invitation went live all available slots were taken in just under 90 minutes.

I spent the next 10 days speaking with all these individuals about their relationship challenges. My goal was to help these people learn how they could quickly make a difference in their lives with new perspective. The objective was to quickly empower the individuals to see a path to a better future.

These are a few of the challenges that presented themselves to me on these calls. [Read more...]

#693: Couples in crisis naturally question compatibility

It’s natural to question if you married the right person when you have been suffering in your relationship. Some people suffer due to instant breaches of trust such as affairs. Some people suffer for years through stacking resentments towards their partner.

If you have ever questioned your compatibility and are concerned about the future, what you are about to read could be worth considering.

Incompatibility can come in many forms, so I will outline a few that cause couples a challenge.

  • Different life goals: – Mission/life purpose – Geography – Parenting styles
  • Sexually misaligned: [Read more...]

#692: In marital crisis? Why talking about your problems may not be the answer?

Many couples in crisis try to sit down and talk about their problems. They have the best of intentions to solve their problems, but the result is more bad feeling.

How frustrating!

To be 100% clear I am NOT telling couples to stop talking. Cloe and I make it our mission to have meaningful connection every day. When couples I work with are out of crisis this what they are also taught to do.

What this post is about is when to know when talking is counterproductive and you need a new approach. [Read more...]

All successful couples have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce!

Every day I spend my time with couples in crisis. I see multiple couples a day, each one with a totally different problem from affairs to loss of love from breaches of trust to circular conflicts and power struggles.

So I’ve end up with a very unique perspective on the world of relationships. What’s important about this perspective is the data I have collected for over a decade on those that are successful and those that aren’t.

The successful couples have all consistently done the same things to save their marriage. Today I’m going to share some of my findings.

Seven Steps to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

These are the seven steps all successful couples are taking to avoid divorce regardless of the problem they have brought to me.

Yes that’s right – regardless of the problem they bring! [Read more...]

“I’ve spent years trying to change my husband – What did you say to him?”

The biggest challenge couples with marriage problems face is not taking action quick enough. They don’t see a very real danger that’s right in front of them. They wait and wait until it gets really bad for both people and then they seek help.

The story your about to read is why it’s so important not to wait. If she would have waited until she was ready to get help they would have lost their marriage. He did what any man should do, he stepped up in a quest to save his relationship.

So this couple were booked in for an initial consultation with me. I had spoken on the phone initially with the husband so I had a little background on their story.

He told me his wife was very nervous and very skeptical that a meeting with me would do any good. I told him she would be looked after and to communicate to her my mission was to get the best possible solution for them both.

On the day of their initial consultation I received an email telling me his wife had changed [Read more...]

Rebuilding Trust in a Marriage

With the right approach it is possible to rebuild trust in a marriage so that your marriage is far stronger than it every was before, no matter what’s happened.

I have seen many couples go through devastating affairs and then learn how to breakthrough their fears and then work together to protect and feed the relationship what it really needs to survive.

At the end of this post you will learn how I helped one lady connect to a strength within her to deal with a devastating situation.

Trust can be broken for many reasons, the obvious ones are affairs, lying, or some kind of erratic behaviour. What many don’t see is that trust can be broken if our needs are not met. Trust can be broken if the dynamic that builds attraction is damaged. [Read more...]