If you’re willing to change your thinking you can change your life

If you are not getting results in your life that you want then it’s a great idea to ask why?

The easy route is to put blame on external factors, my partner is not right for me, I don’t have enough money, I’m too fat, too thin, too old.

The challenge with this approach is it changes nothing, it keeps the person stuck and increasingly resentful that life is not what it should be.

This can lead the person to settle that this is just how life is, this makes them vulnerable and so they have to rebalance their world which could lead them to become hard and bitter over time. [Read more...]

What makes us happy?

For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age.

The answer won’t surprise you.

Source

We Build Walls Of Protection Around Us When Marital Problems Strike But Does It Work?

Building a protective wall around us when emotional challenges strike in a marriage is a fairly normal process. The goal is usually to create security for that individual because life is not the way it should be.

He doesn’t care, she’s always negative, he never listens, she is aggressive and cold…

The question is, does this emotional wall work to create the security the person is after?

In the short-term the person can feel relief because when they shut down they can numb the pain they are experiencing.

The challenge the wall creates is it builds a 2 way block, the person will block out the pain, but they will also block out what they really need to be happy. This creates real problems for any marriage because it heads them to loss of respect and the end of the marriage.

For example:

[I have used a female in this example, but males will do their version of this too.]

If a female has tried and tried to get through to her husband and failed, she will stack her resentments towards him and eventually feel that she has no choice, but to create her own strength because he is not there for her in the way she needs.

It’s like she puts on a suit of armor so he can no longer hurt her. [Read more...]

Marriage Tip Five: Understand Why You Are Together?

Will a couple survive if they don’t share a reason to be together? Couples who plan their journey though life and work as a team towards those goals are far more likely to want to stay together because they have a real purpose.

Creating that purpose helps to build a strong lasting intimate connection.

Most couples vision starts with attracting each other, moving in, getting engaged, getting married and having children. The couple excited about life can race through these goals within a few years. [Read more...]

Marriage Tip Four: The Power Of The Vicious Circle

You know the situation, your partner has assumed you have done something to hurt them. You try to explain that they are wrong and they have misunderstood you, but they won’t listen. Frustrated you end up losing your temper and now the problem is escalating out of control.

What started off as a simple disagreement is now a power struggle where hurt, resentment, disbelief and a loss of love starts to grow.

Both people end up feeling misunderstood and unloved. [Read more...]

Marriage Tip Three: Never Ever Give Up Without The Real Facts

One of my clients asked me, why have I decided to work with couples with marriage problems and why specifically have I decided to work with couples in extreme marital crisis?

This for me was an easy question, because…

I am passionate about relationships and family. I am especially passionate about helping lost couples find their way back to each others hearts. Also when I know there are other little hearts involved I feel even more responsibility to guide them all to safety.

  • I believe that no matter how bad a marriage becomes, couples can turn their relationship around quickly, the reason so many don’t is because they don’t know how. So exhausted they give up trying.   [Read more...]

If Your Marriage Looks Like It’s Ending What Do You Do?

If one person thinks the marriage is over and the other disagrees, what do you do? This couple from Manchester, Brian and Christine share their personal story of trauma and their courage to discover their truth for their son…

My wife told me out of the blue that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. This came as a complete shock to me. I had known that things weren’t great between us but had just assumed it was one of those patches that every marriage goes through. Clearly my wife felt very differently.

As we have a young child we agreed that we would go and see a couples counsellor – a decision that was pretty disastrous. That counsellor took a difficult and upsetting situation and turned it into something much worse.  The sessions were bleak, depressing and frankly fairly poisonous – they made us both feel awful about ourselves and our relationship and made us believe that there was little hope for us to turn things round.

After several sessions with that counsellor things kind of fell to pieces and I was pretty convinced that we were heading for divorce. [Read more...]

Selection of Testimonials

To help others feel inspired to get results some of my clients have been kind enough to provide detailed information on their experience of what it’s like to work with me.

I hope their stories will inspire you to know massive changes are possible…

To your success

Stephen Hedger


  • My wife told me that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me
  • Break-up: Coaching – I lived with a narcissist for 14 years
  • Relationship Coaching – Husband had moved out
  • Coaching after an affair – Struggles to accept affair
  • Dating Coaching – Years of being alone ended in happiness
  • Relationship coaching – Igniting passion
  • Reuniting families
  • Crisis Coaching – Couple on brink of divorce
  • Pre-Marital Coaching
  • Life coaching – journey of self-discovery
  • Coaching for Chronic Fatigue (ME) & Marriage problems
  • Coaching to overcome fears
  • Infidelity puts marriage in crisis
  • Please save our marriage
  • Coaching through Emotional trauma
  • More…
  • Marriage Tip Two: Are You Enough For Your Partner?

    If a person has a life without a planned direction or purpose then what should that person should expect from their life?

    What would happen to the couple without direction or life purpose, they get married and don’t plan their journey through life? What should they expect from their life together?

    The secret to success in this world is simple, you have to work out where you can add value and plan to add lots of value to whatever is important to you. [Read more...]

    My Wife Has Fallen Out Of Love With Me Please Help

    She told him the marriage was over, she had lost all feelings for him. He knew there were problems, but was totally shocked at her sudden desire to want to end the marriage.

    They had a child together and torn with what to do, they sought help. She was convinced the marriage was over, but driven by guilt she felt she owed it to her son to try one last time. Her efforts however seemed half hearted as she shifted between, resigned, cold and sad almost at the same time.

    He came to me on his own initially, he wanted the very best service I could offer to help them. He didn’t believe the marriage was over and he told me he would throw all he could at saving his family.

    I explained to him that I do run intensive programs for Marriages in Crisis [Read more...]

    Marriage Tip One: Be Aware That Your Mind Will Grow Whatever You Feed It?

    Whatever you feed your mind will come true. You will become what you think most about. This law is universal and in relationships it’s very obvious to see.

    Follow the words below and see how you can
    relate this to your life and relationship.

    When a couple first meets and they share that powerful magnetic attraction for each other. What they are going to be focused on is what’s so great about their new lover.

    They can daydream about all the great qualities their new lover has, they feel excited and full of anticipation, the world looks brighter and more exciting and it’s not long before they run around telling their family and friends how amazing their new lover is. [Read more...]

    NEW “FREE Marriage Tips”

    Over the next few weeks I will be sharing important information that has helped many marriages come back from the edge of divorce. So please email your friends share this page and next week we will get started.

    Why is this information important?

    There is no formal education open to the public on how to build successful relationships. This has proved to be devastating for couples who marry expecting their love to last.

    They don’t know how their love was created. So when the inevitable problems arise they don’t know how to grow closer through their problems so they pull love away to protect themselves. It’s not long before the couple have lost the focus that created their passion and they are now focused on what’s wrong and their problems.

    This is disaster for any relationship. [Read more...]

    How to stop your marriage from dying

    Today I’m going share an insight that may help many of you avoid a pitfall I see on a regular basis and get many letters about.

    This is widespread and is killing relationships / marriages and destroying families.

    In essence some of the information you have grown up with, is like poison for your relationship and is devastating for your children and their relationships, because they are learning from you.

    I am going to share with you step-by-step what’s been killing relationships across the country and why.

    Please follow this example [Read more...]

    Life Secrets: Relationships, Money, Health

    If you knew there were simple steps to becoming successful in the areas of life that are important to you wouldn’t you want to know what those steps were?

    Within every person that comes for help I am looking for ways in which I can help them discover their strengths. Powerful parts of themselves they have hidden without knowing.

    I believe there is a key to everyones inner strength something that will create the desire within them to take action and to claim the life that will equal fulfillment for them.

    We all have strengths and yet months or years of battling with life, careers, relationships, children and even ourselves can wear us down.   [Read more...]

    Are You An Attractive Partner To Be With?

    Being attractive to your partner is critical, but being attractive is less about what you look like and more about how you behave and treat your partner. I have created over 40 relationship musts for couples that want a passionate relationship that lasts. Below is a sample 15 of those musts .

      1. Relationships are created they don’t just happen.
      2. Relationship that focus on contribution (giving) creates the deepest bond as time passes.
      3. Never make your relationship about you… [Read more...]

    Infidelity Problems: Who is to blame?

    So imagine this, she enters my session full of anger. Her partner has slept with another woman and she’s livid.

    When this kind of trust gets broken it’s totally understandable for the innocent party to experience significant pain.

    But when you look at the bigger picture I wonder if your initial perspective changes. [Read more...]

    Understanding what men want

    Yes men have needs too and if she can learn to understand what he needs he will feel great about himself and attach that great feeling to her. So below is an outline of what he wants/needs. Of course every man is different and so try out some of the suggestions below and see what reaction you get.

    He wants to know he can please her. This is a primary driver in most men and is a significant source of pain if he feels can’t. If she’s not happy he will be in pain.

    He wants her to give him feedback. If you don’t tell a man when he’s done well he will assume his actions haven’t worked and he will never do it again. [Read more...]

    I do give but I get nothing back?

    You are impossible...

    When a person feels that they put lots of effort into their relationship and they end up getting very little to nothing back, this can and will cause pain in their relationship.

    Many couples come into sessions with this exact complaint.

    What’s even more frustrating is when one person does feel they are giving, but their partner communicates,

    “What do you give me? I get nothing” or “I know you love me but I don’t feel it”

    Many couples are in this space and there is a simple reason behind it. [Read more...]

    Do you have to understand your partners emotions before you will respect them?

    Reassuring her everything will be okay

    Couples who judge each other, or belittle their partners’ emotions will usually find resentment in their relationship and this can be very damaging.

    One of the golden keys to a successful marriage is to take away judgment of your partners’ behavior(s).

    If he or she feels something, that something is very real to them and even if it makes no sense to you, showing you care about them is critical. [Read more...]

    If we split up are we making a mistake?

    Who Have I Become?

    This is a significant worry that just prolongs the agony of staying in a relationship that feels wrong.

    I also see too many people regret their decision to leave their partner, so if you are unsure please find out.

    Too many people find that the solution of leaving is very painful so some short term effort could avoid that long-term pain. [Read more...]