Relationships don’t just happen they are created…

Think about this, how much attention time and effort do people spend on dating each other, making the right impression, having fun, doing special things together?

Now think about this, when people get divorced how much time effort and money is focused on getting divorced, lawyers, planning what they want.

Now look at when the couple are married how much time, effort and money do they focus on creating the relationship they really want? That’s right most people spend next to no time on feeding the relationship what it really needs and are shocked when it starts to go wrong. [Read more...]

How to make him want you back

If you want him to want you back, then you have to understand why you’re not together today. What is it that helped him feel that you were not right for each other?

The number one reason is going to be that he didn’t feel good about himself when he was with you.

The question is why did he leave you?

Most men leave relationships because they don’t feel they can be successful with their partners in the way they want. [Read more...]

“You NEVER listen to what I say!” “That’s because you’re IMPOSSIBLE to please!”

Round and round they go pushing each others buttons, testing their love for each other, dying a little each time conflict strikes. Confused by their partners actions they either test some more which equals more conflict, or they shut down holding back their true feelings to protect the relationship.

Neither works to build a successful relationship and love turns to confusion, then to resentment and ends up with a lack of respect for each other. They blame each other, but they don’t really know what’s going on on, all they know is they are unhappy.

When the foundations of any relationship are weak, fear is then running that relationship.

What I find interesting is that when individuals enter a relationship [Read more...]

The pillars for relationship success

I’m sure you will agree that if the foundations of the relationship are not strong then the relationship is going to suffer.

So what are the foundations?

  • The individuals in the relationship have to understand what it takes to make themselves happy.
  • They have to understand what needs are important to them so they can communicate those needs to their partner.
  • They have to understand how their partner is different to them and learn about their needs.
  • They have to learn how to have conflict and grow from it, most people have conflict and die each time they argue. [Read more...]

How to Build Your Confidence

Boosting a persons’ confidence can have amazing effects on their lives, it’s so important to know how to achieve it especially where it counts.

What’s interesting about confidence is someone can be incredibly confident in one area of their life and be totally lost in another.

I see this in couples a lot, for example the man can be a huge success at work yet flounder in his marriage. He tries to use the success model he uses for work and wonders why his wife is unhappy, snapping at him that she not his employee

“…clearly there is something wrong with her after all I get on so well with all the women at work!” Actual words a CEO gave me in a session!

What’s great about gaining confidence is it can be learnt.

One of the key ingredients in the work I do with couples and individuals is how to build a strong confident inner self and this confidence comes from understanding… [Read more...]

Could This Be Happening To You?

From time to time we can all have doubts that knock our confidence and this is normal. Sometimes our confidence can become so knocked that rebuilding our strength in our ability to create a wonderful future can feel almost impossible. Impossible to the point we feel stuck, paralysed in a life that can just feel wrong.

I want to share a true story of how someone can create an unwinnable life that keeps them paralyzed. So stuck they came to me for help…

This may not reflect what is specifically happening to you. What is important is you know if you are feeling challenged by life there are answers for you.

This lady was totally unaware of what was happening for her, but what she did know was her behaviours were destroying her life. [Read more...]

I Spend A Lot Of Time Helping Men Become More Confident Partners

To be honest men are confused with their relationships and it’s not difficult to understand why, from his perspective she doesn’t make sense at all. So my job is to help the men with understanding her so he can be successful with her again.

Typical questions from men?

  • She wants equality in the relationship, but she wants to be treated like a lady?
  • She wants security in the relationship, but the money I make doesn’t make her feel secure with me?
  • She disrespects me in arguments and says awful things, but she tells me what she really wants is love. How do you love someone who’s screaming at you?
  • I tell her I love her, but weeks later she wants to hear it again, does she not believe me?
  • When she talks to me I try to fix her problems, but all she gets is crosser.
  • The more I try to please her, the more irritated she becomes.
  • Whatever I do never seems to make her happy.
  • She seems to be getting so tough and distant I keep out of her way.
  • I buy her loads of presents, but nothing cheers her up.

These are just a few perspectives I get from men.

All of these questions have very easy answers, but from a mans perspective it feels impossible, he will feel like he has tried everything and failed.

Why because men and women think totally differently, the differences are very real and through this lack of understanding massive problems can come out of confusion.

The truth is he has only tried what he knows and there is a lot he is not aware of. Being female being one of them.

It is this simple knowledge and new perspective of understanding each other differently that builds confidence that he can be successful with her again.

This is one of the keys to why I can be so successful with couple so quickly.

Lack of understanding creates fears and the fears destroy the relationships.

Of course this is not a one way street, women need to understand their men too and women are equally confused.

  • If you love each other and want fast answers then get in touch today! Click here

My Mission: Building Confidence into Men To Be Successful Partners/Lovers

She walked through the door, smiled walked over to me and shook my hand. I thought she had come alone. She turned to face the door, in slowly in walked her husband, he looked in that moment like he was about to be tried for some terrible crime. Wide eyed, almost in shock, eyes dancing around the room looking for danger, he stood paused holding the door handle ready for his escape.

This was one entrance I will never forget and the more I spoke to him I could see why he was so fearful. He had been handed divorce papers two days before, he knew there was a problem, but had no idea how to fix it, he wanted to make her happy, but to him it seemed impossible so his solution was to keep his head down it might make it’s self better. Of course it didn’t and never would.

The reason they were in my session was at the moment she handed him the divorce papers he went into melt down, totally panicked. She was so shocked by his reaction and deep love for her, because she thought and was 100% convinced he didn’t care about her at all and so now she was confused.

You see he thought that because she had given up complaining she must be alright now. Even though deep down he probably knew she wasn’t. He had decided it was to dangerous to rock the boat, as he didn’t want her to spend hours crying and shouting at him. This irrational behaviour in her only frustrated him to the point of anger which meant he would scream at her and storm off for the night to his office or into the bottom of a bottle. She hated the arguments and saw it was getting them no where so she became internally focused and alone. Over time resentment, loss of respect and mild depression took over her.

So the end result was she was totally convinced he didn’t care and so went to her parents and friends for support. This became a source of more problems as he started to feel he was not important and 6th inline for her love and affections.

She withdrew over time her love and intimacy and he controlled whatever he could and they stayed stuck in this place for years.

In some ways many couples I see mirror this couple.

He ended up seeing her as tough and unloving and she saw him as weak and incapable of being the man she had always dreamed of. In fact for her he was like having another child in the house.

  • So how had this couple got their relationship so wrong?
  • Why had they misunderstood each other to the point of divorce?

The biggest reason is their relationship education!

Couples today and over the past 40/50 years know how to attract each other, but have very little idea how to grow a relationship so it not only lasts, but the passion stays and get better every year.

They seem to accept that intimacy goes over time and relationships get stale and that’s ok. This is a myth told by those who are lost.

Growing up most couples only relationship education is their parents and movies and maybe books.

In other words the education is poor, with no education what results would you expect? Yes of course poor ones. You see nature is great at creating the chemical reaction to attract us to our mates, but that initial reaction that is automatic within us all goes and so what happen next is critical.

If you know what to do you can keep those feelings going, unfortunately most don’t, most get out of relationships, those that are left make do with passionless relationships, and a small percentage have got lucky and know the secret.

Building Confidence into Men As Partners Is The Answer!

You see men today have become weaker, they have no idea how to use their masculine energy to bring out the feminine energy in her. Even the toughest business women that enter my session want to be feminine with their partners. BUT if a female is with a partner she perceives as weak she has no choice but to become strong almost masculine inside.

This process disconnects her to the point she feels different and sees the man she once loved as whet and child like.

You must have seen that many comedies are based around the beaten up husband and the masculine wife ordering him around.

My job in the session is to help the men understand how to reclaim not only their masculine energy back, but how to claim the relationship back. You see the biggest problem is not that men don’t want to support their partners in the way they want, they just don’t know how. Many women don’t know how to communicate to men their really needs in a way which makes sence to him, and so the breakdown in communication frustrates them both to separation and divorce.

The reality is it’s really not difficult to help and correct these problems and I have had many one session successes.

Does some of this feel like your relationship?

If you have connected to today’s post please feel free to comment below or better still come and see me, you learn how to help each other to get back the relationship and the passion you once shared.

I’m constantly in fear of losing him…

Whats interesting about this message is, that the focus on losing him will make losing him a possibility. If you are in this place, or you know of  a friend who has this worry the best way to help is through understanding.

Have a think about these words

  • How attractive is the person that is always worrying?
  • The person worrying is likely to be very behaving differently from the happy version of her
  • Controlling behaviours are very likely
  • Loss of emotional control through fear
  • Maybe looking for proof he will go

You see the best way to keep your man is to become an amazing you, if you worry and focus negatively you become internally focused and on a search for more  problems. Of course you will find them which will help you to worry more. In this place you will want to protect you, and so you may pull your love away just in case, of course he feels this and will start to feel he is failing you.

  • Your focus on your problems is helping him to feel bad about himself, if this goes on for too long he will attach those bad feeling to you.

The best way to keep your partner is to change your focus from worry about losing him to a new question focused on keeping him. What kind of man does my husband or partner want to be, and what kind of behaviours in a woman would he find attractive?

You only have to look back to your dating days to find answers…

What I am saying is switch your focus to becoming an amazing you. The fearful you is hurting you both. Your mission is to create a new confident you one that understands your own needs, one that knows how to give herself what she needs and is then free to fearlessly give to her partner what he needs.

The focus of this new woman is on growth and contribution, her focus is on where she is going and who she wants to be, so she feels safe to give.

If you are interested to learn more about how to stop negative behaviours and build confidence please get in touch today.

Confidence Coaching

Feeling out of control of your life is a terribly scary place to be. People can feel out of control in so many ways helping them to feel depressed, powerless, worthless they could feel unloved, depressed, anxious.

These feelings all can lead someone to feel unable to make decisions that make sence so they live in a place that helps them to feel stuck.

People can start to feel that whatever they choose they will feel unhappy and so feelings of hopelessness start to take over.

This can happen at work, in relationships, with family in fact in almost any life condition that is import to the person.

How can a person have confidence in their ability to make a decision, if they have a history of bad decisions. Or maybe they think they have done everything right, yet the result has always felt bad for them.

  • Living this way can really knock a persons confidence. [Read more...]

Confidence Coaching with Stephen Hedger

For those of you who are clients of mine and those that have followed my posts you will know that relationship coaching actually means me helping people create amazing relationships with themselves first. From that place they are able to create not only the the lives they want, but have the confidence and ability be able to fearlessly build a lasting and passionate relationship.

From this place all the gifts the world has to offer become easier to attract because once you are in tune with yourself, and the world, life becomes easier.

One of the key areas in this process is self confidence. Without the confidence to be who you are really capable of being your life will never feel fulfilled. This is true in career, relationships, family, friends, social situations, building wealth and many areas of anyone’s life.

In life, true and honest confidence is a very attractive quality, not only do people want to be around confident people, but confident people seem more likely to get what they want out of life. They understand themselves, the world and use it to their advantage. [Read more...]