Does your life feel wrong?

Are you starting to wake up and you realise that the life you have is not the life you thought you were going to get. Did you think your life was going to be different?

Maybe the problem is your money, your job, maybe it’s your relationship. Whatever the problem you now face if you want to fix it then you have to understand why you are in pain.

The formula for creating emotional pain is…

Pain in any area of life is caused when how you think it should be, does not match your perception of how it actually is. [Read more...]

You are amazing!

My belief is within every person there is an amazing person screaming to get out and you are no exception. You have the ability to have and create the life you really want.

If there are people out there that have what you want, all that’s happened is they have used their time differently to you. Successful people generally use their 24 hours very differently to those that are not.

  • Just so we are clear success = chosen goals + fulfilment.

Many people go for fame and money and then commit suicide, that’s because they were not fulfilled in their lives. Money doesn’t make people happy believe me. I meet unhappy yet very wealthy people every day. [Read more...]

The Answer to Your Life Puzzle

Yesterday I wrote about how the meanings we give to situations shape our lives today. So to expand on that we are going to look at the foundation that creates those meanings.

Our focus of thought is the foundation of our life experiences. Without a conscious direction of thought most people minds automatically focus on their fears, or what’s wrong.

The mind is designed for automatic processing of thought so we can quickly understand if we are safe or not. The problems come when we use this automatic thought to design our lives…

If our focus is the foundation of our meaning then most people will live in fear. This fear is brought to life and maginfied by the person as they feel more and more out of control of their life. [Read more...]

The Secret to Taking Charge of Your Life Today!

Today I’m going to share with you one of the most profound distinctions i discovered when learning about how to build a successful life. My question was how do we take control of what happen to our lives, what’s the foundation to building a successful relationship, becoming successful in our careers and discovering our true purpose in life.

The answer I discovered is we need to make it our mission to master our understanding of our own internal worlds.

We are conditioned to believe and accept that our outside world is the driver for what we become and what happens in our lives.

This is an illusion that keeps us stuck, because if we feel our outside world has the power to help us feel a certain way then we are powerless within it. I will explain why… [Read more...]

Enough is Enough!

Could today be the day when you say, Enough Is Enough! That day happened to me. I was sat in a marketing  job, bored of trying to help companies sell stuff to people who were really not interested in buying them.

As I day dreamed of a different life, my thoughts usually went to those people who really make a difference in society people like firefighters, nurses, surgeons, soldiers and police officers. For me they are wonderful they really do make an amazing difference and most are so under appreciated. [Read more...]

Important Life Lesson: What’s more compelling than your fears?

We all have fears that hold us back, fears that keep us stuck, fears that limit our quality of life? Fears that stop us earning more, or having rewarding relationships, fear that stop us growing.

Are you aware of what you really fear, or have you chosen to bury it?

Most people do all they can to move away from their fears, but without realising their fears then control their lives.

When recently working with a client, I asked him a question. “If I asked you to walk on a plank of wood 1 foot wide, 12 foot long that was 1 foot off the ground, would he do it for twenty british pounds?” [Read more...]

Releasing The Power That Creates Change in Your Life

Everyone has the power to create change. Change is possible if the person understands how to move from a reactive state of mind to a pro-active state of mind.

Pro-active states will put the person back in control of their life moving them with confidence towards what they want.

A reactive state in contrast will be the person trying to move away from what they don’t want. Unfortunately to move away from what they don’t want they have to be focused on it. This constant focus on the negative aspect of their life keeps the person stuck attached to their fear. [Read more...]

The Staggering Power of Our Perceptions – The good and the bad!

Every situation has many ways to look at it, so when presented with a situation, which way do you choose? Do you look for the good? Or do you look for the bad?

Are you aware of what you create from these two directions of focus? If not then this post is for you.

Our perceptions are very powerful, it puts meaning to situations and our lives, those meanings then craft our behaviours, and our behaviours craft our futures. [Read more...]

Problem Solving Skills – Creative Problem Solving For Life Challenges

Wouldn’t it be great, if we never had any problems again?

The reality is not all problems are bad, we need problems to motivate us to action, what’s bad is the way in which we view our problems that keep us stuck, for some they remain stuck for years sometimes for life. What’s needed is effective problem solving skills.

My problem seems impossibe to solve…

You see when individuals come to me for help usually what happened is they have been seeing their problems from only one perspective. That perspective is usually one which makes solving the problem impossible.

For example: Many people are trying to control their outside world so they can feel ok, but the more they try this, the more out of control they feel, because people either reject them, or move away from them. [Read more...]

How to Create Goals You Will Stick to in 2012

Now the New Year is upon us we usually start to think about what we are going to achieve.

Weight loss is usually the big one especially after Christmas, but what is going to make a difference to you? And if you do decide to go for a goal, how long do you think you will stick at it for?

The only goals that really stick are the ones that we get emotionally involved with so when will do fall off the path to our goal there is enough motivation to put us back on track until our new actions just become a part of our lives.

Here is a quick list I use:

  1. What do you want to achieve and why?
  2. How will you know when you have it?
  3. Is the goal possible?
  4. What resources are needed to achieve the goal?
  5. When and where will you have this resource?
  6. What are the advantages of making this change?
  7. What are the disadvantages of making this change?
  8. What will achieving this lose you?
  9. Which of your values be fulfilled by achieving this outcome? – Critical
  10. What’s important to you about getting this?
  11. What will this outcome help you avoid experiencing?
  12. What is the benefit of this outcome?

So whether your goal is to lose weight, meet someone new, improve you relationship, make more money, whatever it is make sure you have powerful motivation behind the passion today to improve your life in 2012.

So what are your exciting goals for 2012?

Why do a lot of people fail to get the life they want…

One of my biggest quests has been to understand the answer to that question. The answer to this question has helped me to help others create the happiness they deserve. After all if we could understand why people fail all we would have to do is do the reverse….Simple!

That sounds reasonable, in fact most people already know what to do, but on the whole they don’t do it.

For example:

  • Many people know smoking will kill them, but they continue anyway.
  • Many people over eat and even though they can see themselves getting fatter, but they keep eating.
  • Many people are struggling financially, they know what they have done so far has not worked, but they carry on doing it anyway.
  • Many people are very wealthy, they know that money is not fulfilling their happiness, but they carry on in a single minded quest for more cash, never feeling fulfilled. [Read more...]

A Life & Relationship Coach Has All The Answers, Right!? Wrong!!!

I remember having a discussion with someone about life coaching. They were aggressively against it because in her words “…how can anyone tell me..! How to live my life!”.

Many people have this misconception of what happens in coaching sessions, I suppose it’s natural to make an assumption of some kind.

The reality of coaching

Any kind of coach is there to help unlock the potential within the individual(s) so they are free to get the life they want to live.

A coach is there to support individuals through the changes they want to make so they have the best chance of getting the life they desire.

There is a massive difference between helping someone get what they want out of life and telling them what to do, or how to live their life. [Read more...]

The Secret To The Life You Want

What you are about to read may sound obvious, but take heed, a lot of what you say you know and you should do, you probably don’t. So knowledge is really only powerful if you then decide to use it. Plus beware of the sting in the tail if you get this wrong…

Now I know that only 10% of you will actually do this and only 3-5% will actually follow through, why this happens no one knows just decide quickly if you are going to be in the 3% or the 97%.

Step one: Decide what you really want, discover what would make your life just the way it should be. Great relationship, money, career, adventures, stuff what would you really like your life to be like?

This is where the 90% give up, they think what they want is not possible, if that’s you, fair enough.

Get your wife or husband boy friend, girl friend involved, get the family involved give yourself permission to create the possibility of living an exciting exceptional life. After all it won’t happen unless you create it.

Step two: Decide what you want, and write it down

This critical because the goal becomes more powerful, plus as time passes and your goals change you can see how many of your goals you have achieved and how as you learn more about yourself and life how those goals change.

Step three: Keep your lists.

The bitter and the sweet

Many of us have a goal of becoming wealthy and the term millionaire tends to sum of this goal.

This is where the 90% will now stop reading:

The Goals: Why not create a goal to become a millionaire, or a wonderful partner, why not both?

What’s important is not what you’ll get if you do this, what important is who you’ll have to become to be able to achieve those goals.

If the money isn’t important give it to a charity,

  • “The importance of life is not what you get it’s who you become.”

What are you becoming today?

Set the goal that will make something of you, when you achieve them.

Challenge yourself don’t be afraid of the pressure, stop doing what’s easy, grow that muscle that will help you create a life. The 97% live an existence unaware of what really happening, look around you at the ground hog day people who have lowered their standards through fear of not getting what they want. Is this really who you want to become?

If you don’t think you need much, then of course you don’t need to become much, some of you maybe happy not becoming much, it’s your life and your choice… BUT…!

Don’t sell out, on your values in your quest for poor goals, or no goals at all, because that will go against all you believe in, you will be the creator of your own life disasters.

An unhappy life is a result of you doing less than you are capable of and the reason this is possible is a lack of discipline, poor focus and poor goals.

Just beware of what you become in pursuit of what you think you want.

Relationship coaching starts with helping individuals understand who the core them really is and helping them understand what life they were designed to live.

Only when an individual gets this, do they start to attract all they desire.

Beware of your fears because whatever they are, they have become your goals, because whatever you focus on you’ll get.

Please choose wisely…

Who Is My Mentor?

Have you ever wondered who has been my teacher? Who provides me with the skills to be able to help so many people and so quickly.

The truth is there is no one person, but I will share with you one man who has had a profound affect on me, my family and the messages I give to all my clients.

Unfortunately he died this year, but his wisdom will be in the minds of the millions he served over the past 50+ years.

He started his life as a farm boy at the age of 25 he was broke with a family and lost. He found a mentor who helped him discover how to create the life he wanted.

Within six years he created his first million dollars.

He went on to tell his story to help others just like you do the same, and he became the authority for major corporations across the globe.

He is one of worlds greatest Philosophers for life and business

His name is Jim Rohn and he has a gold mine of information waiting just for you… Click here

Honesty is the best policy!? – Really?

Did your mother always tell you “honesty is the best policy” she is right BUT, here is the bit she missed out. There are many truths in any situation and your relationship and your life is no different. My question to you is which truth are you feeding yourself, in fact which truth are you so focused on that even you now believe your own hype?

Many people become stuck because they are so focused on all that is wrong, they have done this for so long it becomes a part of them, almost home.

As you know there are many ways to experience a situation, and your experiences are based on meanings that you create. 100 people in your situation would feel totally differently to you. Practice feeling bad  enough and the meanings you give to your experiences will become automatic and then feel normal, you dislike how you feel but this is now you.

These bad feelings actually become part of you, some will even defend their feelings and even feel like giving up blaming the whole world for an awful life.

You will then believe that how you feel is real, and it is, but only on the back of what you have focused on constantly that has enabled how you feel today to be possible.

So you can choose to be honest with yourself about how you now feel about your life, or your relationship and how it’s not how it should be and that’s why you feel so dreadful every day…

…or you can choose to be really honest and look for other truths that will help you see how amazing life can be if only you stopped searching for what’s wrong and focused on getting control of you, and your life.

As soon as you do this what you will notice is you kick your mind into searching for how to get you to a far better place.

Relationships, money, careers etc… You can plan what you want far easier from a place of hope than from a place of despair. So if you have just realised that it’s you that’s has created your own despair what do you now want to do.

There are as you can see, many truths make sure you don’t get caught up in the one that hurts you and makes your life as it is today, and makes it permanent.