[IMPORTANT] Few couples are aware of this…

So here is an interesting thought, what if the identity you live in day-to-day works for one part of your life, but is disastrous for the other important parts and you don’t know this, or the impact you are having on your family.

Every couple that is in trouble experiences this in different ways, below is a couple of examples. As you scan through this post you can start to see how this pattern could have affected your relationship and what needs to happen to change it.

I remember one lady telling me she felt like one of her husbands employees. Obviously being CEO of his wife was never going to work, but he had a challenge, he was a very successful CEO and was so comfortable within his CEO identity this is how he lived his life even at home.

The challenge he faced was he had become upset at how the people that didn’t work for him (his family) responded to him. He thought his CEO status should just bring him love and respect, he was confused when it didn’t happen and assumed his family specially his wife didn’t love him. [Read more...]

My marriage feels dead and the love has gone. Please help?

If you have lost your feelings for your partner then this means you’ve probably spent sometime feeling that your partner doesn’t understand you.

You may feel that you’ve told them you are unhappy, but they have done nothing about it and so now you think they don’t care.

Or maybe you think they do care, but whatever they do does nothing for you now.

Maybe all you feel is resentment and you have lost respect for them. [Read more...]

The Tipping Point

If a relationship problem has not been resolved in the way the person needs, it becomes an unresolved problem for that person.

If the person continues to experience problems in the relationship then the unresolved problems start to stack up.

If the stacking of the unresolved problems becomes bigger than the stacking of the pleasurable feelings, then a person will hit a tipping point. This point is where they stop contributing to the relationship in they way they would if they were happy. [Read more...]

Why does she attack me verbally?

Men are searching for the answer to this question. She is supposed to love me why does she become so aggressive.

Usually she will become aggressive if she feels he doesn’t care about her. Her aggression is usually a desperate attempt to get through to him.

Her aggression is her fear speaking.

She fears not being able to get through, she is likely to be feeling that if her feelings persist she will become too detached from him. [Read more...]

If you punish your partner what do you think will happen within them?

Society teaches us that if someone has done us a wrong we have a right to punish them. We are taught from a very young age that wrongs get punished, parents punish, schools punish, laws are there to punish.

So punishing our partner when they upset us is OK right!? You might want to rethink this one…

The challenge this punishment model provides is this: In our personal relationships it actually creates a destructive effect rather than a positive corrective one. This usually creates the reverse of what the person punishing actually wants.

You see if you punish your partner, their instinctive response will be to run away from you. Even if they don’t physically, there is a good chance they will emotionally. [Read more...]