I give up!

The laws of life tell us that without passion a person will not be motivated to take action towards the goal they have set.

So when a person has tried all they know to fix their relationship without success and time has worn them down to feel emotionally empty, their passion to solve the problems dies and so they edge ever closer to giving up.

This is the place that many coupes end up in. They don’t have the knowledge to question how their brain is interpreting what they are experiencing, this leads them to a very limited view on their relationship without knowing. [Read more...]

What if you knew your relationship problems were not your real problems?

So lets look at Jim he has had two serious relationships and both those women cheated on him and now Jim is focused on whether he can ever trust a woman again.

I think most of us would sympathise with Jims situation, but what is the real problem? Trust does seem a logical place to start and overcome.

Jim tries to have another relationship, but after the initial euphoria his mind has automatically gone to protecting him and focuses him on his past problems and lack of success with women.

This focus causes problems for Jim and his new partner, he is naturally focused on protecting himself and she starts to feel untrusted, not good for her.

Neither Jim or his new partner feel good and the relationship starts to suffer. Both Jim and his new partner are focused on his trust problem and trying to solve it.

It won’t be long before real problems start, because Jim doesn’t actually have trust issues.

[Read more...]

Interrupting and changing patterns that cause relationship breakdown

In the last post we looked at what really causes relationships to fail and it’s not what most people think. In todays post we will look at the patterns we create that are not designed for creating a life long intimate connection.

If I’m going to help someone to achieve the life and relationship they desire understanding the patterns within them that will sabotage that goal is critical.

The patterns of behaviour that lead people to disaster are automatic within them in other words they are not conscious decisions.

These patterns are designed to protect the person from harm, however the application of the pattern is very sloppy and so the wrong automatic response can be triggered without the person knowing. [Read more...]

What really causes marriages to fail?

I have never shared this before, this information I’m about to share is normally reserved for my “Marriage Breakthrough Program” clients.

 So please take your time and follow this carefully.

Most people think that what causes marriages to fail is affairs, arguments, inability to communicate, stress, negativity, loss of sexual connection, money problems, boredom etc.

What if you knew that this wasn’t true, what if all the problems couples face is not their real problem. Would that now make sense to why so many couples go round and round in circles frustrated at each other. [Read more...]

What is running your mind and your relationship?

The moment I discovered that the secret to life, relationships and money was about alignment of the conscious and sub-conscious mind was the moment that changed my life.

The moment I discovered that the conscious mind was creative and yet is only present 5% of the time and the sub-conscious non-creative brain accounted for a massive 95% of our presence I was shocked.

The sub-conscious brains job is to activate our programming from pre-birth to 7 years old combined with our habits learnt after the age of 7, it’s job is to keep us safe from harm. Imagine our actions today being controlled by what was imprinted by parents, schools etc… [Read more...]

Fix your relationship with one small easy change that anyone can do…

What if one small change could make all the difference to your marriage and could save it from months or years of problems.

What if there is one small change we could all make to keep our relationships safe. Safe from misunderstandings, safe from no win arguments, safe from the ups and downs that life throws at us.

What if this one small change could break the patterns of destructions many couples have lived with for so long.

This small change that everyone can make is simply to be the best they can be in their relationship, or more importantly how to learn to be the best they can be. This is really important to understand… [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill SEVEN of SEVEN

Breaking the patterns that don’t work for YOU & YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Many couples across the world are all running patterns that are creating their futures without them knowing. Most people are unaware of these patterns and live their lives which, to them feel normal. The way they think, behave, speak everything is derived from learnt patterns.

These patterns take hold when people are growing and learning at the fastest rate. These changes happen in emotionally charged events and when we are growing up. You have heard the expressing children are like sponges.

Children don’t just take in information they take in everything, and so whatever the world is presenting to them, with no other bench mark to hand, this for them will be their normality.

It is very likely that the children will model their parents behaviours as the way to run their relationships in the future. Boys linking to in the fathers and girls to their mothers. With more and more absent fathers the male role model for children is fast becoming a strong woman designed to cope on her own. [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill SIX of SEVEN

Master Skill Six is critical and it is probably the most consistently under used skill that couples need to master fast if their relationship is to stand a chance.

I want you to first imagine two children a boy (Andrew) and a girl (Sarah), in the future they are destined to meet, fall in love and get married.

BUT their journey to the point of meeting was a very different experience.

Andrew was brought up in a family that was full of anger and resentment. His father was submissive, he worked hard as a carpenter, but at home Andrews mother was the strong one and ruled the  family. It was a very strict environment

Sarah had a very different childhood, her parents were loving giving and they focused all their time on traveling as much as they could with their children even at a young age. Freedom, love and peace was their focus. [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill FIVE of SEVEN

Yesterday we looked at how anyone can reignite the passion in their relationship and can give themselves permission to drop the accepted assumption that Relationships + Time automatically equals a loss of passion.

  • What we are getting to now is honesty in your relationship.
  • I have a question for you, is “honesty” important to you? I expect the answer is yes.
  • When is honesty important? Is it some of the time or all of the time? I expect you’ll want honesty all of the time.

Many couples I work with, and I see a lot every year all have one thing in common, they are not honest with each other and more importantly they are not honest with themselves. [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill FOUR of SEVEN

Now we can start to get to the fun stuff, please remember you are free to comment or ask questions at the bottom of this post…

Many couples go through a process of expecting the passion in their relationships to die over time. So with this expectation we accept the loss of passion as apart of our lives as the process of time passes and impacts us all.

Yes that’s right…. speak to anyone it happens and we all know it does.

Well here is my take on this… The person who started that rumor NEEDS SHOOTING, all that’s happened is you, we, society has hypnotised/conditioned us to believe that this total rubbish is true. I mean talk about the best away to put young couples off life long commitments… [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill THREE of SEVEN

I hope the last two posts have started to get you thinking about your relationship differently. You’ll notice with the right approach you can start to understand how to become successful through being true to who you really are. This internal honesty will help you and your relationship grow.

No relationship stays the same, and as time passes every relationship will hit times that challenge either the individuals or the relationship as a whole.

These are the times when two things will happen, either the relationship gets stronger and the relationship grows, or it gets weaker and the relationship slowly dies. [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill TWO of SEVEN

I hope you enjoyed and could relate to Master Skill ONE. Today we are going to look at what happens when the relationship becomes all about “ME”.

One of the most prominent behaviours I see in couples is their desire to punish their partners when they don’t feel that they are getting what they need. They fear what a future in this relationship will be like and make it all about them. This fear in them creates a person who decides to take from the relationship through fear of not getting what they want.

Their taking also feels bad because they want to just receive what they need and the asking also feels bad. In this position they will start to punish their partner to wake them up, or teach them a lesson. [Read more...]

Relationship Master Skill ONE of SEVEN

We all experience the passing of time and notice how our relationships change. Many of us are far too accepting of these changes such as a loss of passion and boredom as the relationship loses it’s spark and you’re left with the daunting thought of year after year together.

These Seven Skills are designed to help you and your partner stop contributing towards a stale relationship where resentment and a lack of respect grows.

  • DO NOT ACCEPT THIS! Take action starting today.

Being understood…

One of the biggest challenges for any couple is if one or both of you don’t feel understood by the other. What this does is trigger many fears that usually result in one or both people in the relationship pulling love away to protect themselves. [Read more...]