Cloé turned to me and said….

I know you only received a post from me yesterday, but Cloé said something to me last night and I wanted to share this with you.

So Cloé and I were sat watching the Xfactor last night and James Jay was singing “I’m going to be (500 miles)”. Cloe turned to me and said “I love that song”.

I agreed, but she repeated, “I love that song because that’s what you would do for me…You would walk 500 hundred miles for me.”

She is right I would and much more.

In fact I have spent 1,000s and 1,000s of hours learning how I can be the best husband I can be for her.

She is the most important person in my life, and I will stop at nothing to help her feel that way.

She knows she is loved no matter what happens. She knows I will never judge her or make her feel wrong. She knows that even when she hates herself in the moment she is always loved by me.

My mission is to help her experience the life that she wants to live. I have learnt and am constantly learning what she needs, when she needs it and how she needs it.

So as I sat there listening to her saying those words with such certainty in her voice. I felt really lucky that I took the time to learn about her, because I can now experience the true depth of this person who feels free to be her true self when she is with me.

You see when I learnt that the real art of a relationship was in how you gave to the person you say you love, that’s the distinction that changed my world.

What I mean is, you don’t give because you want something in return, you give because it’s who you are and the magic ingredient that opens the connection flood gates is when you give expecting nothing in return.

I expect nothing from Cloe and yet without asking magically I get everything I need :)

Wishing you success…

Stephen Hedger

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About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. Hi Stephen & Cloe,
    I’ve spent many a time sitting here reading through your e-mails with the tears rolling down my face,I only wish that this was the sort of conversation my husband and i could hold, i long to have a deep and meaningful relationship with my husband and know this will never happen.

    Up until now i have’nt had the courage to send a message, this and many of your other posts have struck a chord with-in me as it did when i listened to James Jay sing his emotional version of the proclaimers song 500miles.

    • Stephen Hedger says:

      Dear Phillipa

      We really do feel for you.

      I want you to know something, I had to learn how to show up in a relationship. Men are simply not given the right information growing up and women assume men will just get what they need.

      I don’t know your situation, but if you do want to tell us more maybe we can point you in the right direction.

      With love

      Stephen and Cloe