Crisis Point: Is there a way forward?

If you are in crisis and need help, my practice has a very successful history of helping couples and individuals with what they would consider to be impossible to solve problems. I’m the person that gets the call to help many high profile couples or individuals keep their stories private whilst providing swift solutions.

For many couples and individuals I do become their last hope. Many will have tried different change therapies and still do not have a solution which is frustrating.

Below are a number of cases that came for my help. Each case has a very different problem that had put them into crisis with no logical way out. My message through these stories below is, just because there doesn’t seem to be a way out of the crisis it doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

Almost at the point of divorce they asked for my help

He was feeling miserable in his life, but he wanted to keep the marriage, she on the other hand knew something was wrong because she had fallen out of love with him. She was convinced she couldn’t get the love back for him, and her experience of him was, this is who is was. She was fed-up and wanted out.

She had defined her situation in unsolvable terms and I needed to help them change that.

This couple went through a process of understanding the dynamic they created had emotionally emptied each other. When couples do this it’s exhausting for them both.

By helping them learn what for them equals an attractive dynamic they discovered what they had lost years before. By learning this they became far better lovers and parents, they turned their power struggles and resentment into a new home where they knew how to seek a deeper understanding of each other.

This took eight weeks to show them how to breakthrough this horrible problem and reconnect. They then chose to learn phase two: How to make sure it never happens again.

She committed to saving her marriage and succeeded on her own.

How many people feel it takes two people to save a marriage? Many feel it takes two. I disagree and so did this client. Her husband was not sure what he wanted, but felt the relationship was nearly over for him and so he was putting virtually no effort into it.

This lady committed to see what we could achieve without him. She learnt to understanding herself and learnt what it takes not just have an amazing relationship with herself, but then how to become a valuable wife to her husband.

She learned how to help her husband who was also stuck without knowing feel free to be himself and to choose what was right for him without fear on her part.

By learning what was important to focus her energy into, last year she single handedly saved her marriage.

She opted for a combination of personal development and marriage breakthrough so seek her solution.

He had left his wife but was paralysed with guilt.

The guilt he felt was so profound he had become physically effected. Years later he had met someone knew who was right for him, but he couldn’t let himself go with her. His solution was to work every hour there was to shut down these horrible feelings that would not leave him, but he knew this would lead him to lose a relationship he wanted to keep.

Exhausted he came to me wanting me to design a process to free him. The goal was to understand the true purpose of his experience and help him to achieve that purpose in ways that connected him to his true self.

We had uncovered the influencers that had created these unhealthy patterns so he understood them. He was given critical tools that helped him interrupt bad feelings and replace they with empowering ones.

The compound effect was lovely to watch as his confidence grew each week

He came on a Personal Development Program: Within six sessions he told me the change was profound.

She knew she must leave her husband, but she just couldn’t

Her divorce lawyer sent her to me, because she kept wanting to action her divorce, but when she came to it she couldn’t follow through this had go on for two years.

By helping her to understand why she was so stuck she was able to understand what was keeping her in a marriage that clearly was destructive to her husband and her children.

By helping her to see the reality of her situation and the potential dangers of staying not just from her perspective, but from everyones she started to see that her action could free the whole family.

This was a perspective she had never seen as she connected not just with a great future for all she started to understand why her marriage was never going to work and how she could choose the right partner in the future.

Within 4 weeks she filed for divorce without fear of creating devastating. 

She discovered he was alcohol dependant and was having an affair

She first entered the session struggling to function. She was out of control of her emotions and losing sight of everything that was important and with four children this was not a safe place to be.

My first job was to help her disconnect from being the victim of this situation, by doing so she started to learn how to tap into a far more resourceful version of herself.

This enabled her to effectively evaluate her situation and plan how she was going to deal with the affair and his dependancy.

I worked with them both together and apart so they could both understand what was going on within themselves and the dynamic they had created.

They also learnt how individually their past had a dramatic affect on the direction their relationship. They had both developed coping strategies that had lead them to protect themselves from each other.

Now with an affair and an alcoholic husband, she needed a strategy that would protect her and help her see if was possible to grow a new relationship.

This couple came to see me three years ago. From the moment they left my process he has never touched another drop of alcohol and has committed fully to his wife and his family. Which is simply amazing.

 

I am passionate about one thing. Getting lasting results for any couple that works with me. Register your interest to work with me please book one initial consultation and learn what can be done with your situation.

 

 

Related posts:

  1. Marriage in crisis due to an affair? Learn the steps to rebuilding the trust whilst creating a brand new dynamic that future proofs the relationship.
About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.