Emotional intelligence the key to happiness

If you desire happiness and fulfillment in your life, what is it, that will really create the difference for you?

The starting point is this: If you do not understanding how you work prepare yourself for pain. If you want a relationship and you don’t understand how you work prepare yourself for massive pain.

  • Why do you think the way you do?
  • Why do you behave the way you do?
  • Why do the same things create different reactions on different days for you?

The biggest problem most people face and I see this in all my sessions is my clients are under the illusion that what they think is true, or a fact.

I can tell you now that most of what you think and feel is due to conditioning from society, and this conditioning has hypnotised people how to think and behave.

If you think you are in control of you then this is your first illusion.

If you want to take control back then you have to understand how you work and live consciously, and to your highest standards.

Create an intelligent understanding

Humans are processing information constantly and in any given situation what they are trying to get to is a meaning, when we have meanings we feel safer.

When someone finds a meaning they think fits a situation that’s happened external to them, they will automatically create emotions from that meaning. These emotion feel very real because they are. The problem occurs when the meaning that creates the emotions is not true, or a fact.

The chances of it not being true or a fact is really high. The reason is this: To get to a meaning the mind has to put the event, or situation, or words through some internal filters, such as their state, or mood in that moment. Their own history and how the event relates to the events in their past, plus their values and many other filters.

This is why no two people will ever experience the same meaning to the same event, it’s totally impossible.

For example: Someone might say “my friend made me feel stressed when they said what they said…”. They created this sentence because they feel stressed based on their friends words so to them their friend created their stress.

Who put the meaning to the words? Themselves or their friend? Of course they did, so the person that created the stress was the person who is stressed.

This is true for any situation, if you think someone has the power to make you feel something, yes this is another illusion created by conditioning of others who are also lost and don’t understand the world and how they work.

People are under the illusion that the world is doing stuff to them all the time, and these are the people who are out of control of themselves, struggle to find happiness and find relationships difficult as they distort themselves to cope.

Be under no illusion that if you feel out of control it is you creating it.

The faster someone gets this, the quicker life will take on a whole new meaning.

Those that read this and disagree will not have the life they desire today, if this is you I urge you to open your mind to your higher purpose in life, and that is to live the life you were designed to live.

The choice is yours…

To your success…

As always please get in touch if this has struck a cord with you.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.