Helping a couple to breakthrough their problems and avoid divorce

How is it possible to help a couple in crisis? How can you bring a couple back from the brink of divorce? How is it possible to help that couple even if that couple are convinced there is no way back?

The answer is to change the thinking that lead them both to disaster. But the way they change their thinking has to connect them to their true-selves otherwise the changes cannot be sustained.

The reason couples struggle so much and end up shutting down and seeing divorce as the only option is because they were trying to use the thinking that created their problems to solve their problems.

New understandings about their experience together is the key to new meanings and a safer future together.

Communication is critical in any relationship so couples have to learn how to translate what their partner has really been trying to say.

Couples come to me in their 60’s after spending a lifetime together and are so shocked to learn how little they knew about what the other was really saying.

I watch these couples wake up to what’s been happening in their relationship and their confusion changes as they make a new connection with their thoughts about the past and what their partner must have been going through.

When couples become confused by each others words and actions it can create fear and these fears help the couple to change and drift apart.

Learning how to translate what is really happening in each others minds creates a different understanding and potentially a far deeper connection.

As couples learn how different they are and how to appreciate and see these differences as a strength they start to see how they can become a team.

Where the future seemed impossible before this new thinking rebuilds trust and respect and opens up a future of truth understanding and love.

Once this foundation is in place then the couple can really start to live.

So please remember this especially if you are struggling to connect: Any meaning that you put to your partners words or actions is likely to be your translation and not their true meaning at all.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. This is very true , as I think that’s the problem in my marriage . I don’t think my husband whom I am now separated from now do understand me are how to communicate. The I start to talk its like I should not open my mouth only him and what he says. Communication is the key to life especially a marriage. Thank you for you article.

    • Stephen Hedger says:

      Thank you for your comment…

      Misunderstandings can be very painful. Communication that actually works between a couple in an intimate relationship has to be learnt.

      Unfortunately this means a persons words gets lost in translation as personal filters alter the meanings of a conversation.

      The result: A person can be blamed for something they didn’t actually say.

      thanks again

  2. Very true…and indeed is painful just to be blame for what you did not mean when communicating. Also it does take time and as you have said if the person can realise themselves to make the steps in understanding communication with each other . sorry if am wrong.