One of the biggest complaints I hear from men is how hurt they are at the words that their wives use. Men hear the words that women use and take them quite literally.
- For example: You never pay me a compliment! The woman will be focused on wanting to be appreciated loved and feel attractive to her husband. The man however will be focused on the word
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About Stephen Hedger
I am 24 years old and have a girlfriend who is 21.We have been together for nearly 8 months now and seems things are turning abit sour from what I feel was not suppose to be.She oftens want to feel important when some random quarrel starts up from some very minor issues like im not answering her calls when actually I didn’t mean to because the phone was on vibrating mode.She often likes to punch me expecting I would just feel the pain and shut up.When I get angry and punches her,she becomes so worried and swears back at me and doesnt want me to say a single word.She oftens says Im ugly,while thats not true and tells me off that I had intruded her life with her Ex,which actually I stole her heart somehow.She at one stage called her Ex,which I came to found out later and was very frustrated.My Question is;Do I have to put my trust and believe in such lady or move on in life?By the way,I tried several times to drive some sense into her head about how we should live life but seems its just a waste of time.Please I need some genuine advice on that because I feel that its all got to do with her after all.
I would like to make it clear that violence of any kind is not acceptable.
What I will share with you is that she is giving you a clear message that she is not feeling safe with you, and the harsh words and punching is her crying out for you to help her feel safe again.
She is testing you and if you fail her test she will esculate, her calling her ex is part of that esculation.
If you want to be with her you will have to break through with her and look after her when she goes to these unsafe places within her.
Only then will she trust you.
This is likely to be the total opposite of what you have been taught growing up.
If done consistently you will gain her trust, BTW to a greater or lesser degree all women opperate this way.
I do run session on this if you both need it.