I have tried but I know he/she will never change

In yesterdays post I asked you to look after your relationship.

I wonder how many of you put those words into action? My guess is only a few, if you are one of them I congratulate you.

If you didn’t then I would like to help you because you could have a good reason why you didn’t.

  • It could be your partner doesn’t show they love or care for you?
  • It could be that you were too busy?
  • It could be that you don’t love them anymore and your looking for a way out?
  • It could be why should I give when they never do?
  • I am always the one trying, he/she never tries.
  • I don’t feel important to my partner, so why should I?

You could have any of these reasons, or one of your own.

I have a question, if you do pull back or punish your partner does this result in the relationship you are after?

For many the answer is no, but they keep pulling away and punishing hoping things will change.

They will change, but not in the way you want, the relationship will suffer and the effects will negatively compound over time.

Think about it, have you ever been punished and felt more love for that person after you’ve been punished?

Punishment doesn’t create love, it creates resentments which are crippling for relationships.

I asked one lady in my session how she is dealing with the problems she was having with her husband?

She said “I just keep on at him”.

I asked her if it was working? She shook her head and said “NO!”

“So why do you keep doing it” I asked?

“What else am I going to do” was her answer?

Both these people were stuck in patterns of behavior that were leading them to disaster. These patterns I see every day.

She didn’t know the impact of what she was doing?

She said “So if I can’t punish him for doing wrong then I have to just put up with him this way?”

The answer is NO!

The biggest problems I see is couples are stuck in their relationship trying to fix their problems with what they know. The problem is what they know is not enough to create the relationship they want.

My clients learn how to communicate so they actually get through to each other without creating resentments?

Your relationship is valuable, so why not invest in learning the skills…

  • That will help you to be free to be you in your relationship.
  • That will enable clear communication.
  • That will rebuild trust that your partner does care for you in the way you want.
  • That will help them learn about what you really need.
  • That will change the focus from what’s wrong to fun, adventure happiness.

If together you learn the critical skills that build success you’ll never have to go back to becoming someone you’re not when you are with your partner.

  • Many of my clients are choosing to spend just 4 hours with me learning these critical principals in my Private Seminar.
  • This is open to you right now all you have to do is pick up the phone.
About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.