Is my past effecting my future?

The simple answer is yes. The reason is because the meanings that you have given to the world you live in has created your beliefs about the world. This is why everyone is so very different.

These beliefs feel like facts and so people behave as if they are.

This really shows up in relationships. For example, if you and your partner have experienced very different childhoods then your expectation of how life and relationships should be will be very different.

The result is misunderstandings and conflict as one or both people become fearful of an uncertain future together.

Other ways your past effects you is by the life conditions you were given. For example if arguments were part of how your family dealt with problems then this will be your pattern for problem solving.

In other words what goes in is what comes out, especially when under pressure.

We run patterns of behaviour that as children worked for us at that time.

This is where the fun begins, because many people I see in my clinics are still running those patterns as adults and I don’t mean those just turning 18 I am talking 18-70+.

Now imagine how much havoc a pattern that was designed for teenager or younger to cope with their world will have on the world of an adult in a relationship with children of their own.

The problem is those that are affected are not aware of what they are doing, or how it happened. To them their reactions are normal.
It’s usually not until they have experienced enough pain in their life do they say enough is enough and go in search of help.

This is where relationship coaches like myself step in and help individuals understand the real causes behind why they do what they do and how to create new belief systems that will support a future of growth.

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