Love alone is not enough

One of the major challenges most individuals face in their relationships is understanding how to become truly valuable to their partner so their partner will feel magnetised to love them forever.

I have a huge amount of empathy for anyone in a relationship that’s not working, because I know personally how emotionally painful/confusing it is to be in this place.

I was not born understanding relationships, however I did have one philosophy that gave me a head start and the momentum to be where I am today. I understood that the most valuable part of our existence on this planet was our relationship with someone special.

I was not however born knowing how to be valuable to the opposite sex and it took a number of painful wake up calls for me to realise that something was wrong with my thinking.

I didn’t realise that in my relationship I have a very specific role to play as the man of the house. I didn’t realise my role was to be the protector, not just physically, but emotionally too.

Had I realised this sooner then I would have understood the enormous challenge I faced. How could I protect someone who I really didn’t understand? Plus how could I protect someone who I know sometimes doesn’t understand herself?

Then I realised that if I wanted an amazing relationship not only would I have to learn how to protect my partner physically and emotionally, but I would have to create a new and better me to be able to do that job.

I would have to firmly step-up to truly be ‘a man’ in the eyes of the woman who loves me. What I became aware of was the moment she could see me as ‘the man’ that’s the moment she would feel safe to let go and be free to be the woman she always wanted to be.

I knew I wanted to help my partner have an amazing life, I was conscious that I wanted to become a better me, but I didn’t want to lose who I was just to please her. Plus I knew that if I tried to become only what she wanted then I was not being an authentic me.

So if I made changes to become a better me then those changes would have to reflect what I valued most. The moment I understood what I valued I could then take the next critical step.

I became what I valued in my everyday behaviours.

What I noticed was as I started to watch my own behaviours I became less reactive and more in control. I felt stronger as I became consciously more connected to who I really am.

This put me in a much stronger happier position to learn what my partner really needed and to meet her needs from a position of me being who I really am.

This created not just more connection, but also more freedom.

What I notice from the many couples that come for my help is how trapped they both are in patterns that disconnect them from themselves who they really are, and each other.

All they see is on-going pain and no clear path…

It’s so important that both people learn how to become valuable to each other so the relationship can really grow.

When the masculine and feminine energy is allowed to be free within a couple then a relationship can ignite and create life long passion for each other.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.