“Please Just Tell Me The Truth…”

The real answer couples are looking for in their relationship is the truth. Why did you have the affair? Are we really compatible? Why do you keep lying to me? Am I emotionally safe with you? What made you fall out of love with me? If we try to fix our marriage, how can I trust it will last?

The truth is what sets us free in life and in relationships.

Many think that I fix relationships and that’s my job.

My real mission is to help couples/individuals discover the truth in their relationship. I do this by asking the questions that are most likely to lead both me and the couple to a deeper understanding of their relationship and why they are sat in front of me.

My mission for everyone entering my process is to help them make friends with the truth and make it a foundation of their life.

Loving the truth is important in relationships because when it’s not present it brings a toxic dynamic that can shatter a marriage, or slowly eat away at it.

For a person who feels they are being lied to, it puts them into a position where loving their partner becomes a challenge/impossible. Not being able to love the person you love puts that person into a place of pain and suffering and they will attach that pain to their partner.

It’s not difficult to see the ping-pong dynamic this creates as one person holds back to protect themselves, it won’t be long till the other mirrors that behaviour.

So one truth that I expect to see is, couples in crisis are sitting in a horribly distorted place. My mission for the couple is to uncover a truth that tells us if the couple have the ability to become compatible for life?

This means helping the couple discover the truth in the key areas of their life.

So let look at an example:

One area of truth is connected to what a person values and how it connects to how they behave. So if a person tells me that ‘honesty’ is important and yet their behaviours contradict what they say is important, I have to ask in that moment who has that person become and why?

‘Who have they become?’ is important because in that moment they are disconnected from who they really are and ‘the why’ is important because human behaviour is not random. When someone creates a behaviour they have a purpose and we need to understand the truth behind the purpose?

A way to change a persons behaviours in a lasting way is to help them understand the purpose behind the behaviour. Once understood that person can be guided to meet the purpose, but this time in a way that connects them to what they value most.

This creates a win-win situation.

Many people create habits through patterns of behaviours that were created years before to cope with situations that are totally unrelated to their current situation.

These are old patterns that will not serve them today, but because they don’t use conscious thought to action them, the person is not aware they have them.

Examples:

The man who won’t stop lying to his wife, but when challenged says he does so to protect her.

The woman who trades her love for what she does, but doesn’t tell anyone that’s what she expects in return and is then upset when she doesn’t get the love back?

The truth for every couple sits in so many critical areas.

  • What truth brings out the best in a person?
  • What truth helps couples meet each others needs?
  • What truth helps the couple reignite their sexual attraction?
  • What truth helps the couple become excited about their life together again?
  • What truth helps me to see what’s really possible in my relationship?

You see as you look for the truth in a key areas of your relationship with yourself and each other what you’ll discover is an enlightened reality.

This is where you can make decisions that are truly safe.

Want to discover with me the truth in your marriage? Then you’ll need a guided tour of what to focus on and why it’s important.

Want my help you can book online today.

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About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.