Please Save Our Marriage! This was the first email I recieved from Darren and Sue, they were at breaking point.
When they first entered my clinic in Buckinghamshire you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. This was a couple with young children on the edge, breaking up seemed like the only option open to them…
Sue recounts what happened next…
When Darren and I first came to see Stephen, Darren and I were very disconnected in our relationship. We were in the midst of a power struggle and were successfully bringing out the worst in each other in our relationship. I had pretty much lost hope that we could resolve things without massive compromises and was mentally preparing to break up our family – something that saddened me greatly. I knew I could not continue with the way things were. The blocks felt too big to overcome, the trust was gone and the well-being of us all, including our two children, was being seriously affected.
We had tried couples counselling and this had been unsuccessful. I am a trained counsellor myself. Sadly I felt that my knowledge in the field had created more distance between us rather than helping as I had hoped. My counselling training highlighted to me how dysfunctional things had become between us. I felt somewhat embarrassed that, with my knowledge in the field, I was unable to create the relationship I wanted with Darren.
Stephen’s approach was very different to what we had experienced in couples counselling. He challenged our thinking, tested our commitment, highlighted our own inconsistencies and steered us towards focusing on how we each wanted life to be. He works at a fast pace. I liked this as I felt we had already wasted too much of life being unhappy.
With his support and commitment he pushed us both forwards until we had no choice but to take the leap of faith into the type of relationship we wanted or to separate. Faced with this reality, we eventually both made the choice to be together. I know from my counselling work that reaching rock bottom is sometimes necessary as this becomes the place to move away from towards what you really want. It also becomes a place that you don’t want to return to and so acts as a longer-term motivator.
Throughout the process, Stephen made himself available to us both by email and by phone to help us through the toughest times. He showed a level of commitment to the process that I have never come across in the field of counselling. I was delighted to experience the results that came with this.
Darren and I have now reconnected and working at how we can move forwards together in ways that makes us both happy. There is an entirely different atmosphere between us and our household has been restored to a calmer place with a positive outlook rather than a negative one. Our children are responding to the improved family environment and I am delighted to see them looking happier.
This has been a great achievement and we owe a great deal to Stephen for his persistence, skills and motivation to help us both towards a better life. Each step of the way Stephen offered his techniques and teaching to encourage our growth as individuals and ultimately our growth as a couple.
Darren and I are now on a new path with a positive growthful outlook for ourselves and our two children. We have found a new level of connection and this is increasing steadily each day. We are learning about each other now and are offering each other the love and support we both craved. We look forward to continuing to work with Stephen to take ourselves to new levels of success and happiness.
This couple did one thing that many couples don’t, no matter how tough the sessions got they kept going, and now they have reaped the rewards in bucket loads. The children have their family back and they are now planning a wonderful future together.
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