A Life & Relationship Coach Has All The Answers, Right!? Wrong!!!

I remember having a discussion with someone about life coaching. They were aggressively against it because in her words “…how can anyone tell me..! How to live my life!”.

Many people have this misconception of what happens in coaching sessions, I suppose it’s natural to make an assumption of some kind.

The reality of coaching

Any kind of coach is there to help unlock the potential within the individual(s) so they are free to get the life they want to live.

A coach is there to support individuals through the changes they want to make so they have the best chance of getting the life they desire.

There is a massive difference between helping someone get what they want out of life and telling them what to do, or how to live their life.

Coaches don’t have all the answers, their clients have the answers, they just don know how to get to them, this is how a coach adds so much value to a persons life.

The reasons clients don’t know how to get to their own answers are infinite and are not immediately obvious. This is why the client becomes stuck not achieving what they want, or ends up, giving up and settles for a safe mediocre life.

The potential is there…

Most people have far more potential within them than they thought possible.

The biggest challenge a coach faces is to change the beliefs that people have that are holding them back without them knowing.

A great example recently: A client of mine who due to an abusive past has a goal to remove love from her life by not having relationships anymore. She has done this to protect herself from certain pain.

Her belief is that relationships equal massive pain. The result of this decision is unhappiness, depression, lack of confidence, loneliness. and feeling that she is never going to be enough and that she will never be loved.

Without help she would stay stuck in this place, a coach cannot tell her how to live, a coach has to help her free herself from her fears and help her build a new future based on what makes her happy. Through this process she can discover the real her again the one she lost through her abuse.

  • What are your thoughts on coaching?
  • If you have tried it?
  • Has it worked for you, if not why do you think that is?
  • Is coaching a good, or a bad thing?

Please share your comments below…

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. I would agree.

    As one who is currently going through the process it is tough. You do want your coach to solve all the problems for you. To wave his magic wand. To make everything right again. You want to wake up one morning and have a wonderful, happy life free from the hurt, depression, pain – whatever.

    Life isn’t like that.

    He can’t do that. But what he can do is give you the tools to change your life to one that is better.

    Understanding oneself is part of the battle. In my case admitting my goal was unachievable (resurrecting my failed marriage). Understanding the effect my past has had on how I react in different situations and acknowledging that I was 100% responsible for the state of my marriage – despite being cheated on.

    So to anyone considering this as an option I would say – he doesn’t and can’t tell you how to live your life – all he does is offer up the better alternatives and help you grab them.

    If nothing else it is intriguing to find out what might be around the corner. Damn it – for me – it can’t be any worse than where I am now!

    • Stephen Hedger says:

      Hi Caroline

      Thank you for speaking your mind and sharing your thoughts with us all.

      “Understanding oneself is part of the battle” this is the critical part. Many people are too unaware of what they do and why they do it.

      The result is chaos and lots of hurt.

      Thank you again for your valuable input to this discussion.