Relationship Principles for Success

If you don’t want your partner to attach bad feelings to you then these will help avoid resentment stacking, a major cause of relationship problems. Please don’t just read them, knowledge is only powerful if you actually take action and apply it to your life.

Some of these my seem wrong to you, they are designed very carefully so please feel free to challenge them in the comments below.

  • Relationships are created they don’t just happen.
  • Relationships are built through contributing and meeting your partners core needs.
  • Relationship that focus on contribution (giving) creates the deepest bond as time passes
  • Make sure that you consistently give more of what your partner needs than you get.
  • Whatever you want more of in your relationship give and be more of that.
  • Never make your relationship about you…
  • Always take 100% responsibility for the state of your relationship
  • Never focus on what you’re not getting because you can’t focus on building your relationship whilst your focused on yourself.
  • Make sure that what you expect of your partner is something that you also expect of yourself.
  •  Make sure your partner is your best friend.
  •  Help your partner to feel valued and needed.
  •  Never stop giving love to your partner.
  •  Love your partner unconditionally – no matter what’s happened.
  •  Love is not about control.
  •  Always make sure your partner is more important to you than anything including your children and YOU!
  •  Understand when you block out the pain in your relationship you automatically block out the love.
  •  Are you meeting your own needs, but not living true to what’s important to you.
  •  Never try to control or manipulate your partner to meet your own needs.
  •  Allow your partner to be all of who they are.
  •  Never make your partner wrong.
  •  Always respond to your partners intent behind their words and actions.
  •  Always put your partner first, relationships never work if this is not in place.
  •  Fearful people are focused on themselves and can seem selfish as they try to meet their own needs at the cost of those they say they love.
  •  If you’re not happy then understand your partner is NOT HAPPY TOO!
  •  Always focus on your partners strengths and help them where they are weak this is how a great team becomes successful.
  •  If your partner is not being their true self, help them because they are in trouble
  •  Never assume your partner is trying to hurt you
  •  Never judge your partner because you are not qualified
  •  Never try to make your partner behave like you
  • Do you have rules for how your partner should behave but you don’t live true to those rules yourself.
  •  Never lower your own standards and become someone you’re not to stay in a relationship.
  •  Become the example you want your relationship to be.
  •  Communicate what equals your ultimate relationship.
  •  What are you currently doing that is hurting your relationship.
  •  What do I want in a relationship?
  •  What do I not want in my relationship?
  •  Who would I have to become to attract this relationship? Am I doing this today?
  •  When you understand what you want your relationship to be like, look at the critical relationship rules above ask yourself if you are worthy of that relationship today.
  •  Learn what can you change in you to make your relationship better.
  •  Never threaten to leave…ever! Especially as a control or a threat.
About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. I would add Listen to your list

  2. Heather Duerichen says:

    I am commenting on the last point: Never threaten to leave ever… My life coach is encouraging me to tell my partner that I will not see him for two weeks until he gets sober, if he is not sober in two weeks, I am to repeat the process, until he quits drinking or leaves. Is this considered threatening, my partner says it is. I think it is self care.