How to fix a broken marriage no matter what’s happened?

After developing a marriage breakthrough program for couples in crisis and applying it to the man on the street, major celebrities, to business leaders and entrepreneurs and successfully bringing these couples back from the brink of divorce time-after-time.

Here are a few of the key principals I have learnt on this amazing journey with couples right on the edge of divorce.

1. The most important focus for any couple.

I have learnt that this decision is critical not just in maintaining a successful marriage, but an essential part of the relationship building process.

Put your partner first..! If your partner feels [Read more...]

Want to learn the skills and tools to stop the problems and make your relationship work again?

After developing a marriage breakthrough program for couples in crisis and applying it to the man on the street, major celebrities, to business leaders and entrepreneurs and successfully bringing these couples back from the brink of divorce time-after-time.

Here are a few of the key principals I have learnt on this amazing journey with couples right on the edge of divorce.

1. The most important focus for any couple.

I have learnt that this decision is critical not just in maintaining a successful marriage, but an essential part of the relationship building process.

Put your partner first..! If your partner feelsthat anything is more important than them expect problems. What could affect them could be anything from the attractive single person in the office, to a seemingly non-threatening hobby. This is really important, no matter what, they have to feel they come first… [Read more...]

What really causes a person to want to leave their relationship?

If you were wanting to save your relationship then the answer to this question is potentially gold, and the answer is not what you think. If you are thinking of leaving your relationship then this may help you understand what is happening to you.

Leaving a relationship is a big life changing step and so it’s important to understand what’s really going on to make sure the emotional distress is not creating a fog that could lead to a permanent mistake.

To be clear I agree certain couples shouldn’t be together, however far too many couples are splitting up because they are unaware of what you are about to read. [Read more...]

Relationship problems? This is critical to know…

Today I’m going to share how one woman reconnected with her trouble teenage daughter, why a woman chose not to leave her husband and what these two stories have in common that will be affecting everyone’s relationship right now.

  • If your partners needs are different from yours and you don’t know what those differences are, how difficult would it be to connect to each other?
  • What if your partners primary needs change as they go through different life stages how confusing would that be?
  • What if a person needs are not being met, they don’t know what their needs are, or how to share them?
  • What if a person expects their partner to know what they need because they assume their partner has the exact same needs as them?

If you want to have a meaningful connection with anyone in your family then understanding and respecting what they need is critical to maintain a connection that works. [Read more...]

If you’re willing to change your thinking you can change your life

If you are not getting results in your life that you want then it’s a great idea to ask why?

The easy route is to put blame on external factors, my partner is not right for me, I don’t have enough money, I’m too fat, too thin, too old.

The challenge with this approach is it changes nothing, it keeps the person stuck and increasingly resentful that life is not what it should be.

This can lead the person to settle that this is just how life is, this makes them vulnerable and so they have to rebalance their world which could lead them to become hard and bitter over time. [Read more...]

How to Heal Broken Relationships

The most effective process for helping couples develop the skills to grow their relationship starts with their relationship with themselves. The couple are the foundations to the relationship and if the foundations are weak the relationship suffers.

You see if individual(s) are challenged by past events then that past will be used as one of their filters to make sense of their world. The meanings they give to their relationship will be based on that past combined with many other critical filters. Many people are not aware of these filters and how powerful they are.

Most individuals have some kind of misalignment without knowing. Society and parents teach people methods of how to destroy relationships without knowing. Individuals can come to sessions with no obvious past traumatic event, only to discover the way they experience the world is complex and unwinnable. [Read more...]

Does Relationship Coaching Work?

Many couples wonder if coming to relationship coaching sessions will work and is it worth the effort?

  • What if you’ve had years of problems, fighting and going round in circles?
  • What if through all your problems intimacy in your relationship had disappeared years before and is now also just another problem to add to the list.
  • What if you’ve even tried counselling and it hasn’t worked and now it looks like the only option is divorce and the break up of a young family.

With so much certainty that breaking up was their only option, this couple decided to see if relationship coaching could save their family…

After a few sessions this is the email I received from them today!

Subject: Thank You

Stephen

I wanted to write to say thank you. There has been a huge turning point in our relationship. We have both worked really hard at following your advice and I have started to allow myself to get close to D physically. We are taking that side of things really slowly as I have many years’ anxiety to overcome but I finally feel that not only can we have a marriage free of the destructive fighting and power struggles we’ve endured for the past few years but we can also have a marriage with physical as well as emotional intimacy.

We both know that to sustain this will require continued efforts on both our parts but you have given us the tools to work with and that is more than half the battle. From where we were a few months ago – with the house on the market and divorce lawyers consulted – to where we are now feels nothing short of a miracle. We both realise that there is still so much love and so much worth saving. It was just all disguised under fear, anger, resentment, loneliness and feelings of disconnect and hopelessness.

Your skill as a coach is very special. Anyone who has tried traditional counselling and failed (as we had) should definitely try you before throwing in the towel.

With very best wishes

Grace – London

What Is Your Life Purpose?

What were you designed to be and do? If life is not the way it should be how are you going to feel. How is your relationship going to suffer if you don’t feel right.

If something does not feel right, then you can be sure that something is not right. As we go through our lives from childhood what happens is we create a purpose for our lives during that time. So our purpose at different moments in time could be to

  • Have fun
  • Protect yourself
  • Set yourself free
  • Find adventure
  • Discover you
  • Control everything
  • The list is endless…

Everyone creates these life purposes without conscious awareness and it’s the life conditions that will create the need to change or shift our purpose.

Depending on how your life conditions change your purpose will shift to adapt, but you can find that you are not meeting your core values. If this happens, whilst you might be meeting your needs your values are being ignored and this creates a very unhappy and distorted version of you.

So we can look back and say that times in our life were not good for us. This is a reflection of needs being met, but values being ignored.

Is this where you are today? If you are unhappy with you or your life you can bet that your relationship is suffering.

  • To live a happy life that is always a win-win situation for you, you must understand how you work. So when life conditions change you no longer live in reaction limiting your true self and creating internal conflict… …that can lead to stress, depression, anger, anxiety!

If you would like help with this contact me today!