Rebuild trust in marriage: Can A marriage Survive without it?

I’m just going to jump into this post fast today. Without trust the marriage is dead so it’s critical to rebuild trust in a marriage fast. Trust is a foundation of any relationship.

The reason trust is so important is because without trust the couple will lose their security with each other. If the security has gone the couple will struggle to connect emotionally.

Loss of emotional connection creates intimacy challenges. [Read more...]

Building Trust: Trust Issues in Relationships & Rebuilding A Broken Marriage

If you are having any kind of relationship problem this post is about how to build trust in a relationship so it can start to be the way you need it to be.

When the word “trust” is mentioned the usual association is directed towards infidelity. Whilst this is true, the word and how it affects our relationships actually has a much broader meaning.

You might not feel you can trust your partner with others, or you may not be able to trust your partner to create the relationship you wanted and expected.

So in any relationship conflict, I know on some level the couple have stopped trusting each other and this is the first step to rebuilding their relationship.

Why trust problems appear in relationships

When any couple are having problems, both are likely to be in fear states which will result in them both going to self-protection which is a very “ME” focused state and focused what they are not getting from their relationship.

Whenever a relationship enters this phase the love they give each other becomes conditional and so their needs are only met as part of a trade. “If you do this for me, I’ll do this for you!”

This trading process is slowly destructive because it builds up resentment and the couple stop wanting to meet each other needs.

This results in the individuals going outside the relationship to feel good again, places such as work, friends, family, children, hobbies and sometimes other sexual partners.

Building Trust: Learning how to trust again

If the relationship is to survive the couple needs to refocus their energy away from their own fears and towards what they want.

The focus on fears is proven to create their fears in reality and so is not safe if rebuilding trust and saving the relationship is the goal.

Important: For rebuilding trust

If love is what you want in your relationship your goal is to give love in the way your partner wants it.

Most people feel exposed and feel at risk if they do this, BUT in reality they are more at risk if they don’t, pulling love away to protect yourself when things go wrong is a smokescreen for safety, because pulling love away only results in your partner mirroring you in some way.

So fears fuel fears to destroy the trust in any relationship.

If you are have problems and need help rebuilding trust please get in touch.

  • I run a two hour trust building session for all couples.
    Please click Trust Building

Just when it all seemed hopeless…

Thomas and his wife had good reason to assume their relationship was over. To the point where sitting and sharing the same room was a challenge for both of them. This is a typical example of how easy it is to get into trouble based on assumptions. With the right attention many couples can build trust and love back into the relationship and create a wonderful vison for the future again.

Thomas shares his thought’s…

My wife and I spent Christmas 2010 on different continents due to communication breakdown and suspicions of infidelity. Mutual resentments that had built up over time led to each of us seeking attention and reassurance from people outside our marriage. I was prepared to move out of our home after the new year, but my wife suggested that we try seeing Stephen Hedger. After browsing his website and emailing Stephen a few times, I agreed to see him for one session. [Read more...]

How To Regain & Build Trust In A Relationship

One of the biggest challenges any couple is crisis faces is how to regain trust in a relationship. The couple have spent so many years practicing how to not trust their partner they can use just their partners presence as a direct anchor to pain which can set them both up to fail without knowing.

This is not something they do on purpose to be difficult it’s an automatic response where just the sight of their partner can generate a fear response deep inside them.

Trust becomes impossible

If both people in the couple are doing this the consequences can be devastating for the relationship, because they can both go in to places of fear which creates a shut down in their ability to positively grow the relationship.

In this place the woman can become aggressive, masculine and seemingly unreasonable to the man. The man can either run physically or mentally or he may bully his partner so he can win the argument.

So in real terms whilst the couple have a strong desire to fix any problems they may have, the powerful combination of visual, auditory and emotional anchors to their partner causing them pain, can trigger a total inability to be reasonable, to listen, or to see the world from their partner perspective and all they can see is trouble no matter what their partner says.

Empathy and heartfelt understanding is critical for any couple wanting a resolution to their problems and specifically to build and regain trust again, but from a place of fear it’s impossible.

The longer these anchors to pain go on the more powerful they become and the more impossible the couple find getting to any kind of resolution.

How to regain trust in a relationship

The goal is to help the couple collapse these triggers so they can no longer see their partner as a the route of their pain. When they do this they both can then go to a place which is less fearful and out of control and from here trust can be rebuilt.

When the individuals discovers how to take control of their own emotions and behaviours they become stronger and in a far better place to enable a positive contribution to each others growth and success.

If this is where you are please get in touch today.

Step 3: Rebuilding trust in your relationship

Step 3 – Relationship Rebuilding Process

Stephen Hedger will help the couple learn how to build trust that’s believable and lasting

When a couple go through any kind of relationship problem the trust in each other is dented in some way.

The natural reaction when trust, the foundation of their relationship is in question is to protect yourself this could result in arguments, stonewalling, or leaving the relationship temporarily or for good.

For example

The reason for a lack of trust can take forms. It could be due to an affair or that one individual does not feel secure in the relationship for some reason. It could be trust issues could be due to money issues or a feeling of not being respected or valued. The reasons are many and varied, and can be rational or irrational emotion.

Stephens objective is to help the couple re-connect through a trust rebuilding process and sincere promises to establish a foundation to rebuild their future on.

Building lasting relationships with Stephen Hedger

To Make An Appointment Call: 0845 519 4808