“We both want our marriage to work – BUT it’s getting worse please help us”

March 11, 2018 by

“I never thought he would leave me.” “I can’t believe she just left” “I never knew things were this bad” These are the real messages I hear from people who ignored their partners cries for help and regretted it.

What couples who are struggling are not connecting with is they are in step-by-step process and if they take action now they can stop a marital disaster.

Today I’m going to help you understand it’s important to learn where you are so you can get real about your relationship and do something about it.

Below are the stages couples are going through without knowing. It’s important to understand where each of you is in this process.

Stage 1: Attraction – Love being together

Stage 2: Resistance – Problems starting to surface

Stage 3: Resentment – Problems not resolved

Stage 4: Detachment – Emotion protection

Stage 5: Decision – Position designed to take back control

Stage 6: Separation – Physical separation/Divorce [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How do I help my failing marriage?

March 4, 2018 by

When you break down the process individuals and couples are going through to put their relationship into a crisis it’s easy to see why they are struggling to keep their connection alive. 

Helping couples to see where they are going wrong is a key skill to master to help them save and protect their marriage.

As you scan today’s post I will share with you a key strategy for helping couples out of crisis and a couple who was on the brink of divorce who needed help fast…

Before I share this strategy two steps are critical for couples in crisis to learn. Enlighten both people to understand how they have broken their marriage so they don’t repeat that mistake and help them learn what they must now do to keep it passionately alive.

These two understandings are key to keeping their foundations strong to support them for life.

Once people understand what’s really happening to themselves and each other they can replace their natural fears and self-protection patterns with understanding and confidence.

The goal is to help couples build confidence that no matter what hits them they both know what to do to protect their marriage as a team.

These skills are not natural and so they must be taught. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Why men don’t listen to their wives…

February 18, 2018 by

Many women complain to me that their husband doesn’t listen or won’t listen to her. She can complain that he is emotionally unavailable or just not capable of an emotional connection, suggesting that he is broken. 

Not hearing her can leave her feeling disconnected, resentful, and lonely in the marriage.

For women communication is a critical part of building trust, deepening connection so she can feel safe to be herself in her marriage. This helps her to feel safe to love him.

If she can’t connect with him she can feel they are the wrong fit or he doesn’t care or she’s not enough for him. This will lead her to protect herself from him and now a vicious cycle can start.

>>>Today I’m going to share the real reason why men don’t listen to their wives. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

She told him she was unhappy with him…

February 4, 2018 by

I first spoke to this lady over the phone in 2014 she told me her husband thought she was being ridiculous we don’t have a problem you are just being overdramatic. She was unhappy as she was suffering and her husband didn’t seem to care.

I told her to come in to see me sadly she didn’t want to come without her husband and he refused to attend – a mistake he would live to regret.

For years this lady had suffered from her husband who was so engrossed in his work she felt lost and alone.

To be clear he wasn’t abusive, he didn’t have an affair on the surface they had a perfect life and he was an amazing provider.

For him being successful at work was his mission. He had built his company from nothing to give them the most amazing life. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Ten year marriage hits crisis – He shares his story

January 24, 2018 by

If you are reading this testimonial, it may be that you are in a similar place to where we were a few months ago and searching the internet for a possible solution, with low expectations.  I found these testimonials encouraging – hence offering one today (it is genuine).

Without going into details, following a “bump in the road”, our marriage was at a critical stage with a real risk of it ending – I (the husband) was at fault.  Although neither of us wanted this outcome after a relationship of almost ten years, it was hard to see a way out and how to change things.

This is where Stephen came to the rescue. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Testimonials Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Top 7 relationship mistakes that lead couples to severe marital stress and many to divorce

January 7, 2018 by

I spend year after year with couples from all over the world who travel to see me to gain life-changing solutions to some of the most challenging marital issues.

Living day-to-day with all these couples in varying degrees of crisis helps me to see that so many couples are creating very common problems in their own relationship without even realising.

So today I’m going to share with you what I’m seeing so you can look at what is happening in your own relationship.

Each one of these points below is critical to thoroughly understand: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“Should I be in this marriage?” She asked

December 3, 2017 by

So I was chatting with a lady who was recommended to me and she wanted to find out if I could help her and her husband?

They were at breaking point and she was about to action lawyers, but she was unsure if she had really tried everything and had heard from a friend about me. She said she liked the idea that I don’t sit couples in their problems and focus on their past.

I asked her to help me understand from her perspective what she had experienced in the relationship.

As she was talking I could hear straight away that her husband was not protecting her emotionally and she was having to look after herself in her marriage.

I could hear she didn’t feel emotionally safe with him and she had lost all sense of who she was and was struggling to make a decision about her marriage that made sense to her. It was especially painful as she had young children and knew the wrong decision would affect them for life. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“I have done everything I can to save this relationship..!”

November 26, 2017 by

So a couple comes into see me and the message she provides me is “I have done everything I can to save this relationship, it will never change, he will never change what’s the point!?”

Both men and women can give me this blocked and self-limiting message that makes any kind of future feel impossible, however with the right support they can learn there is a way to break-through what they thought was impossible…

…I know because I see it every day.

This week is a perfect example, 12 weeks ago a lady believed that her marriage was over, but this week she no longer wants to leave her husband and can now see a future again?

What she did that was different to most people is she was brave enough to learn and breakthrough her old feelings and beliefs and learn a new truth for her. A truth that was much safer for her to live in. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Number one problem that all couples face – BUT they don’t know!

October 1, 2017 by

In today’s post I want to share with you something that is really important if your relationship is struggling or on the edge of divorce.

So week after week I sit with couples in all manner of crisis. Affairs, loss of love, power struggles, communication problems to name a few.

These situations are always complex in terms of how they have been generated, this means the couples are creating their very own unique path to crisis.

What’s simple to see is the trends all couples are doing.

One of my observations is people in or on the road to crisis stop being who they really are when they are with their partner. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“My partner doesn’t want to attend couples counselling – what do I do?”

August 20, 2017 by

What do you do when one person is desperate to get professional help and the other person will not go? I know for many this situation is so frustrating because they feel so stuck. 

Far too many people wait until they are on the edge of divorce before they are willing to seek help and this causes them significant stress that could have been avoided.

Fortunately there is a solution to help you be heard…

Before i jump into this post I wanted to give you two pieces of news.

  1. The better relationship program offer ends in 6 days – please hurry I only offer this program twice per year. Click here to attend
  2. I have now opened my home in Oxfordshire for couples to spend time with me in addition to my Harley Street office.

In todays post I thought it might be useful to expand on this topic of a partner blocking attending counselling, because I hear this so many times.

There are many reasons that can sit behind this specific problem. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

She said the change was mind-blowing!

February 12, 2017 by

Recently I was asked by a psychologist looking to work with me, why do I think I was getting such great results with couples that came to me in terrible crisis?

My answer was simple, I treat every couples problem as totally unique. I then help the individuals to understand themselves and each other in a way that helps two intelligent people decide what they want to do.

What this means is every person and every couple will receive a totally different approach to their problem.

Very often people hesitate to come in to see me in fear of what I might find. My message is people don’t need to be fixed, there is nothing wrong with them. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

All successful couples have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce!

September 11, 2016 by

Every day I spend my time with couples in crisis. I see multiple couples a day, each one with a totally different problem from affairs to loss of love from breaches of trust to circular conflicts and power struggles.

So I’ve end up with a very unique perspective on the world of relationships. What’s important about this perspective is the data I have collected for over a decade on those that are successful and those that aren’t.

The successful couples have all consistently done the same things to save their marriage. Today I’m going to share some of my findings.

Seven Steps to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

These are the seven steps all successful couples are taking to avoid divorce regardless of the problem they have brought to me.

Yes that’s right – regardless of the problem they bring! [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“I’ve spent years trying to change my husband – What did you say to him?”

September 2, 2016 by

The biggest challenge couples with marriage problems face is not taking action quick enough. They don’t see a very real danger that’s right in front of them. They wait and wait until it gets really bad for both people and then they seek help.

The story your about to read is why it’s so important not to wait. If she would have waited until she was ready to get help they would have lost their marriage. He did what any man should do, he stepped up in a quest to save his relationship.

So this couple were booked in for an initial consultation with me. I had spoken on the phone initially with the husband so I had a little background on their story.

He told me his wife was very nervous and very skeptical that a meeting with me would do any good. I told him she would be looked after and to communicate to her my mission was to get the best possible solution for them both.

On the day of their initial consultation I received an email telling me his wife had changed [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Does your partner want to leave your relationship?

May 16, 2016 by

When someone has decided they want to leave their relationship, or are making sounds this is what they want, it’s key to understand what is really going on within them so you can help them make a good decision for them?

I’ve written todays post to uncover what is really going on and why because it’s perfectly possible to reconnect a couple who look like they are at the end of the road once the couple understand what’s really happening to them.

So let start with the basics, many people are not aware that life is really about our ‘feelings’. We are all on a quest to achieve the feelings we want.

We like the feelings that make us feel good and we do our best to move away from ‘the things’ that create painful or uncomfortable feelings. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How to solve impossible marriage problems

April 18, 2016 by

If you are feeling your marriage problems are impossible to solve this post is for you.

When a couple come to me for help, they are going to both share a story of their relationship. Each person will have a different story about the same relationship, with different perspectives of the same event(s).

Both people are likely to have attached pain to their story. They have usually been feeling this way for a while and want the suffering to stop.

My job within their process is to help them understand their core problem(s).

Couples will be experiencing problems that become their focus, such as conflict, affairs, communication breakdown, power struggles to name a few. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How to get your marriage back on track

March 21, 2016 by

In todays post I’m going to share with you two critical elements that are needed to help a couple get their marriage back on track.

Couples are coming to me with a vast array of problems and with differing degrees of severity.

Some simply want me to fix them, some are not sure what they want. Some are convinced it’s over, they are only in front of me for the sake of the children.

So if you want to get your marriage back on track then here are some important things to focus on. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Crisis Point: Is there a way forward?

March 7, 2016 by

If you are in crisis and need help, my practice has a very successful history of helping couples and individuals with what they would consider to be impossible to solve problems. I’m the person that gets the call to help many high profile couples or individuals keep their stories private whilst providing swift solutions.

For many couples and individuals I do become their last hope. Many will have tried different change therapies and still do not have a solution which is frustrating.

Below are a number of cases that came for my help. Each case has a very different problem that had put them into crisis with no logical way out. My message through these stories below is, just because there doesn’t seem to be a way out of the crisis it doesn’t mean there isn’t one. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Are we compatible?

January 11, 2016 by

Are we compatible? This is a very common question and one that gets asked a lot when I’m working with couples? Couples that come for my help want to know if the problems they have are fixable, or do they have some deep-seated problem hardwired into their relationship?

For most couples in crisis the reason they feel incompatible is because that’s exactly what’s happened, they have created an incompatible dynamic. Their dynamic has changed for some reason.

This change of dynamic will create feelings that one or both people simply can’t live with.

The good news is for most couples this state is not permanent once we understand the underlying cause(s). [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What really helps to fix marriage problems?

October 26, 2015 by

The simple answer to this question is in their patterns of behaviour. Couples can create patterns which can create a negative ping-pong effect in their relationship. Both people can then end up protecting themselves from each other which is disastrous for their future together. If the relationship is to be saved then it’s important to break these patterns and build new ones that are safe for both people.

Of course sharing each others experience through talking about the relationship is important when trying to solve any problem(s).

When the couple understand the truth in their relationship then there is a potential of an intellectual understanding of their situation. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“Thank you for not giving up on me…”

September 21, 2015 by

These were the words from a woman that months before swore blind that her marriage was dead. She was thanking her husband for not giving up the fight to save his relationship and family.

Months before she sat in my office telling me that she would explore the relationship, but her mind was made up, she wasn’t in love with her husband and she had to leave.

She also presented a relationship history that essentially said she never really loved him and she had made a mistake marrying him.

To him this was a total contradiction of his experience, he even bought up letters and cards of love that she had written to him over the years. She denied any of it was real and she was playing a part. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Marriage Coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
Next Page»