Improve Self Confidence – Steps To Self Confidence

I have “no confidence in myself”, “lack of confidence is holding back my life” “if only I could develop a supreme self confidence in myself then I would be free”.

Does this sound familiar to you? If you are suffering from a lack of confidence in some or all areas of your life, Would you like to improve self confidence in you?

Improving self confidence

What’s interesting about confidence is people can find themselves really confident in certain situations, but very unconfident in others.

For example: I might be working with a successful senior executive commanding 1000’s of people in a high stress environment, but he has no confidence in his ability in personal relationships.

Or I maybe working with a performer who is oozing confidence on stage, but at home is like a mouse pushed around, and runs around pleasing everyone except themselves.

I have some clients create very small worlds they know their job, they have few friends and never step out of their comfort zones. They do this to keep safe, but this actually creates a self-imposed prison in this place their lack of confidence becomes self-fulfilling.

Improving self-confidence is about a combination of factors, what we are really after is the confidence to be able to be who we want to be in any situation.

Our confidence really sits in our ability to be comfortable with the unexpected to stay true to who we are and be comfortable we know how to deal with whatever happens.

For example: If you were public speaking and you knew your subject inside out and you knew that no matter what was thrown at you during your speech you would be able to answer. Your confidence would be much higher.

Same with relationships, if you knew that no matter what happened you could always put it right then again your confidence would be significantly higher.

How to get confidence in yourself – Be a resource for yourself

If you want to get confidence in yourself become an expert in your chosen direction(s).

You could be

  • An expert mum
  • An expert public speaker
  • An expert in building loving relationships
  • An expert in socialising

If it’s important to your life, find out how you can be the best you can be in that area.

How to improve your self image

A big part of your confidence building strategy is understanding how you see you. How you see yourself is critical in the process of your confidence in you.

If you believe you are not confident in certain areas of life, what happens is when you find yourself in a situation that is uncomfortable your internal thoughts are automatically fired up. This is the start of a fear response which feels very uncomfortable.

Blushing, shaking, knotted stomach, tense shoulders, heavy heart, feeling of wanting to run, or escape all typical symptoms of poor self image and a lack of confidence in that situation.

You see if anyone thinks that they will be harmed in a situation they will always move away from it.

Improving self confidence step-by-step

If you want to improve your confidence in you then you have to understand the factors that will create it.

  1. Set your goals – what do you want and why do you want it!
  2. Understand your blocks and why you have them
  3. Break through your blocks
  4. Don’t be swayed by the judgment of others
  5. Become an expert
  6. Stay focused on your outcome

Build Confidence in yourself

What you will notice about really confident people is they are never internally focused, in other words they are never focused on themselves. They trust themselves to react in ways which serve them and are not worried about what others think about them, because they know they can’t control the thoughts and actions of other.

The biggest confidence boosters used by those at the top is the ability to stay focused externally and on their goal, in other words where they are going.

Confidence Coaching:  with Stephen Hedger

Self Confidence Training is a step-by-step process to help you become who you were designed to be, minus the fears. So what do you want to be more confident in?

  • Relationship(s)?
  • Public speaking?
  • Business – Career?
  • Social situations?
  • All areas of life?
  • Whatever it is for you i can help

You will learn –

  • Confidence building techniques to build a foundation of trust and security within you
  • How to build up confidence where ever you feel you need it
  • How to gain self confidence to free yourself from your blocks/fears faster
  • Develop self confidence in all areas of your life
  • Increase confidence as and when you need it

If you are interested in working with me to gain confidence in your future please get in touch.

I’m constantly in fear of losing him…

Whats interesting about this message is, that the focus on losing him will make losing him a possibility. If you are in this place, or you know of  a friend who has this worry the best way to help is through understanding.

Have a think about these words

  • How attractive is the person that is always worrying?
  • The person worrying is likely to be very behaving differently from the happy version of her
  • Controlling behaviours are very likely
  • Loss of emotional control through fear
  • Maybe looking for proof he will go

You see the best way to keep your man is to become an amazing you, if you worry and focus negatively you become internally focused and on a search for more  problems. Of course you will find them which will help you to worry more. In this place you will want to protect you, and so you may pull your love away just in case, of course he feels this and will start to feel he is failing you.

  • Your focus on your problems is helping him to feel bad about himself, if this goes on for too long he will attach those bad feeling to you.

The best way to keep your partner is to change your focus from worry about losing him to a new question focused on keeping him. What kind of man does my husband or partner want to be, and what kind of behaviours in a woman would he find attractive?

You only have to look back to your dating days to find answers…

What I am saying is switch your focus to becoming an amazing you. The fearful you is hurting you both. Your mission is to create a new confident you one that understands your own needs, one that knows how to give herself what she needs and is then free to fearlessly give to her partner what he needs.

The focus of this new woman is on growth and contribution, her focus is on where she is going and who she wants to be, so she feels safe to give.

If you are interested to learn more about how to stop negative behaviours and build confidence please get in touch today.

Confidence Coaching

Feeling out of control of your life is a terribly scary place to be. People can feel out of control in so many ways helping them to feel depressed, powerless, worthless they could feel unloved, depressed, anxious.

These feelings all can lead someone to feel unable to make decisions that make sence so they live in a place that helps them to feel stuck.

People can start to feel that whatever they choose they will feel unhappy and so feelings of hopelessness start to take over.

This can happen at work, in relationships, with family in fact in almost any life condition that is import to the person.

How can a person have confidence in their ability to make a decision, if they have a history of bad decisions. Or maybe they think they have done everything right, yet the result has always felt bad for them.

  • Living this way can really knock a persons confidence. [Read more...]

Confidence Coaching with Stephen Hedger

For those of you who are clients of mine and those that have followed my posts you will know that relationship coaching actually means me helping people create amazing relationships with themselves first. From that place they are able to create not only the the lives they want, but have the confidence and ability be able to fearlessly build a lasting and passionate relationship.

From this place all the gifts the world has to offer become easier to attract because once you are in tune with yourself, and the world, life becomes easier.

One of the key areas in this process is self confidence. Without the confidence to be who you are really capable of being your life will never feel fulfilled. This is true in career, relationships, family, friends, social situations, building wealth and many areas of anyone’s life.

In life, true and honest confidence is a very attractive quality, not only do people want to be around confident people, but confident people seem more likely to get what they want out of life. They understand themselves, the world and use it to their advantage. [Read more...]