I wanted to know if my emotional future was safe? I got my answer, the question now is yours?

I am going to REVEAL the truth today to why so many couples are struggling. This is the foundation to many of the problems we all face.

This problem affects many areas of our lives and is alive and most active in all personal relationships without couples knowing.

The problem we all face, me included, is ‘we’ (humans) are so conditioned to protect ourselves from painful feelings we totally miss the ability to be able to create true happiness and fulfillment.

If you can understand this it’s the start of your own personal journey to freedom and if you have children it will help you to keep them safe emotionally. [Read more...]

The art of understanding the woman you say you love

If you want to master this skill, the starting point is to remove your judgement of her words and actions, trust me here, because the cost to you is huge.

The reason I ask this is because if your judge her by your own emotional filters, the meanings you will put to her words and behaviors will not reflect her intent, they would reflect your intent if you were to behave that way.

To clarify you can’t translate her behaviors and give those behaviors a meaning and then make her responsible for your meaning. [Read more...]

Why Do Women Ask For a Divorce?

What used to surprise me when I first started my practice, was how many men actively searched and came for help with their marriage problems.

When you see as many couples with marriage problems as I have over the years, you can’t help but see patterns emerge.

What I found most fascinating is the men were searching for help, but the point they searched was mainly when his wife had asked for a divorce. [Read more...]

How And Why It Works?

With a consistently high success rate for the couples I work with, why is what I do so successful for couples in, or heading for crisis?

In short I help them discover how to become a team together. Below is the three key steps steps that move my clients very quickly from destruction to love. Before I take you through those steps, I will share the end of just one of the many letters I get from my clients…

A recent client wrote to me who had multiple challenges marital and personal. They had sought help from a few professionals, but nothing had changed.

This is the end of her email to me after we worked together for just 7 weeks. [Read more...]

This is NEW and is just for YOU

My life’s’ mission is to help as many people as I can understand how to unravel the complexity of personal relationships.

The challenge I always face is how, I started this FREE relationship building blog which now has over 500 pages of advice designed to prick the curiosity of my readers.

Some readers have written to thank me sharing how giving them hope has shifted their desire to put in more effort and it’s reaped rewards for them.

I also run weekly sessions in Harley Street where couples come looking for me to take them step-by-step to learn how together they do actually have the power and ability to build a successful relationship.

It’s very successful, 95% of couples in my 3 month high intensity program do decide not to divorce. These are figures I’m very proud of. [Read more...]

7 Reasons You Know You’re In The Wrong Relationship

Being in the wrong relationship is an upsetting time, but how do you know? What do you need to look out for? Love is not always enough to keep a couple together if the following situations arise.

1. If your partners intent is to try to hurt you physically or emotionally

2. If your vision or goals for the future are totally different

3. If you believe their fears for losing you is helping them try to control what you think and do

4. Your partner is only interested in taking from you no matter how much you give

5. If you dislike who you become in their company [Read more...]

Life for us is an adventure it’s about a planned, fun, free, sexy, passionate sometimes crazy life together.

I’m going to do something today that I don’t normally do, I’m going to give you my personal thoughts on life and relationships. I’m going to take off my professional hat and share what I believe is important and what has worked for my wife Cloe and me.

In my personal experience we only have one life, so go for your dreams don’t hold back ever. I personally couldn’t bear to look back at my life and feel that I didn’t give it my best shot.

Cloe shares this view totally, after all what else would you do? Worry you won’t get it? We agree that having a go, is far more important than focusing on the fear of not getting it. [Read more...]

Relationship Tests & Secrets

Are you up for an experiment with your partner? This test will be a secret between you and me. The purpose of the test is to learn what your partner will do, so you can see the impact you can have on your relationship.

It doesn’t matter if you are male or female reading this, the test is very simple.

I know some of you will find this really easy and others might be challenged. The goal is not just to learn what your partner will do, but also learn what you feel at the thought of this test and if you are actually able to complete it.

So if you are up for the challenge here we go. [Read more...]

Secrets of a successful marriage

If you are looking for the secret of a successful marriage then the starting point is to understand that building a successful marriage takes skill, understanding and is definitely not for the lazy.

A successful relationship is one that is lasting and passionate. Lasting sexless relationships are not the goal of couples choosing to marry, but unfortunately this is the way they end up.

So what needs to be in place for you both to survive the years of the ups and downs that life throw at you. [Read more...]

How to make him want you back

If you want him to want you back, then you have to understand why you’re not together today. What is it that helped him feel that you were not right for each other?

The number one reason is going to be that he didn’t feel good about himself when he was with you.

The question is why did he leave you?

Most men leave relationships because they don’t feel they can be successful with their partners in the way they want. [Read more...]

Free Relationship Course

If you and your partner are struggling to get answers to your relationship questions and you are looking for some free help online then this may help you.

Every day I am helping couples from all walks of life with all kinds of problems. From loss of passion to obsessive compulsive behaviours, from poor communication skills to loss of confidence.

I have put together a mini relationship course on critical topics of focus.

This information is FREE and is designed so you can start to understand where to put your energy. When couples hit problems they are not sure what to do, fear takes over and they make matters worse. [Read more...]

Important Life Lesson: What’s more compelling than your fears?

We all have fears that hold us back, fears that keep us stuck, fears that limit our quality of life? Fears that stop us earning more, or having rewarding relationships, fear that stop us growing.

Are you aware of what you really fear, or have you chosen to bury it?

Most people do all they can to move away from their fears, but without realising their fears then control their lives.

When recently working with a client, I asked him a question. “If I asked you to walk on a plank of wood 1 foot wide, 12 foot long that was 1 foot off the ground, would he do it for twenty british pounds?” [Read more...]

He stood tears rolling down his face…

Smiling through his tears, at last he could see there was hope for the future for him and his wife, he felt lighter, free and he could feel within him confidence for his future start to fill his body.

Four hours earlier he thought he understood how his life worked and why it was going wrong. He was shocked to discover he was totally in the dark and happiness for him and his wife was a totally random event.

He discovered there was a way he could be a man in his relationship and in his life. He now knew what he had to do to love and protect all those he cared for, plus he could do all this without fear. [Read more...]

The Most Important Decision of Your Life

Image if you have to make a decision, this decision would affect your whole life, if you got it wrong it would affect those you loved the most, and could affect the way you live. This could also significantly affect your finances. Getting it wrong could also put others in charge of key elements of ­your life meaning you are not free.

Clearly this is a very BIG decision. Now imagine you have no education to know if you are qualified to make this decision and all you have is a gut feeling based on limited experience. [Read more...]

Spreading The Love Video

With so much pain and suffering in the world and with so many people in their own personal pain for many different reasons, any chance for a small break from those troubles is a welcomed break.

When you watch this video below notice what you feel and what you want to do. Giving love is a very powerful way to break down barriers so give love today.

The Miracle Cure for Our Problems

We all want solutions to our problems and today we want them fast. Fast is not always better, but if there is a way to help ourselves now then why wait?

Do you really want to wait for your problems to go away? Most don’t, but what they do makes the problems stay.

There are very powerful ways a person can make their problems stay without knowing.

One is No Action ignore the problem, two is the fear of taking the Wrong Action, just one of these two choices will cause problems, both of these will help the person stay paralyzed for years.

For example a person who has been hurt through relationships creates a wonderful solution, no more relationships! Whilst a relationship can no longer hurt them the lack of love and connection will. [Read more...]

Could This Be Happening To You?

From time to time we can all have doubts that knock our confidence and this is normal. Sometimes our confidence can become so knocked that rebuilding our strength in our ability to create a wonderful future can feel almost impossible. Impossible to the point we feel stuck, paralysed in a life that can just feel wrong.

I want to share a true story of how someone can create an unwinnable life that keeps them paralyzed. So stuck they came to me for help…

This may not reflect what is specifically happening to you. What is important is you know if you are feeling challenged by life there are answers for you.

This lady was totally unaware of what was happening for her, but what she did know was her behaviours were destroying her life. [Read more...]

Who Are You? What is Your Life Purpose?

Do you know? Unless you know who you are, how will you create a “Life Purpose”? Do you know what your life purpose is? Does this suddenly feel important for you to know?

For most when this question is considered they can start to feel uneasy as they start to realise that the days are flicking by faster and faster. They will notice that they have no real direction and the days just happen to them, so they live in reaction to what the world throws at them.

Life is happening all around them, they are part of it, but they are not in control of a direction that has a meaning defined by them – in essence they are out of control.

Most people like to use label to define themselves, I.E. I’m a Doctor, or a Banker, or a House Wife. These are great, but do those labels really define who they are and is that their life purpose? [Read more...]

Does Relationship Coaching Work?

Many couples wonder if coming to relationship coaching sessions will work and is it worth the effort?

  • What if you’ve had years of problems, fighting and going round in circles?
  • What if through all your problems intimacy in your relationship had disappeared years before and is now also just another problem to add to the list.
  • What if you’ve even tried counselling and it hasn’t worked and now it looks like the only option is divorce and the break up of a young family.

With so much certainty that breaking up was their only option, this couple decided to see if relationship coaching could save their family…

After a few sessions this is the email I received from them today!

Subject: Thank You

Stephen

I wanted to write to say thank you. There has been a huge turning point in our relationship. We have both worked really hard at following your advice and I have started to allow myself to get close to D physically. We are taking that side of things really slowly as I have many years’ anxiety to overcome but I finally feel that not only can we have a marriage free of the destructive fighting and power struggles we’ve endured for the past few years but we can also have a marriage with physical as well as emotional intimacy.

We both know that to sustain this will require continued efforts on both our parts but you have given us the tools to work with and that is more than half the battle. From where we were a few months ago – with the house on the market and divorce lawyers consulted – to where we are now feels nothing short of a miracle. We both realise that there is still so much love and so much worth saving. It was just all disguised under fear, anger, resentment, loneliness and feelings of disconnect and hopelessness.

Your skill as a coach is very special. Anyone who has tried traditional counselling and failed (as we had) should definitely try you before throwing in the towel.

With very best wishes

Grace – London

Depression: Is Your Relationship The Cause?

You and your partner are designed by nature to act and work together in a certain way hence the term chemistry usually associated with the automatic feelings a couple experiences when they first meet.

When you first met this is likely to be the reactions you had to each other. You both felt great, and it took little effort, those amazing feelings were automatic. When you were with your partner you felt great about you.

These automatic feelings are proof of natures’ power of attraction in action. It created chemical reactions in you both to feel an intense attraction to each other.

When you feel this way, the drive towards intimacy is very powerful. [Read more...]