If Your Marriage Looks Like It’s Ending What Do You Do?

If one person thinks the marriage is over and the other disagrees, what do you do? This couple from Manchester, Brian and Christine share their personal story of trauma and their courage to discover their truth for their son…

My wife told me out of the blue that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. This came as a complete shock to me. I had known that things weren’t great between us but had just assumed it was one of those patches that every marriage goes through. Clearly my wife felt very differently.

As we have a young child we agreed that we would go and see a couples counsellor – a decision that was pretty disastrous. That counsellor took a difficult and upsetting situation and turned it into something much worse.  The sessions were bleak, depressing and frankly fairly poisonous – they made us both feel awful about ourselves and our relationship and made us believe that there was little hope for us to turn things round.

After several sessions with that counsellor things kind of fell to pieces and I was pretty convinced that we were heading for divorce. [Read more...]

My Wife Has Fallen Out Of Love With Me Please Help

She told him the marriage was over, she had lost all feelings for him. He knew there were problems, but was totally shocked at her sudden desire to want to end the marriage.

They had a child together and torn with what to do, they sought help. She was convinced the marriage was over, but driven by guilt she felt she owed it to her son to try one last time. Her efforts however seemed half hearted as she shifted between, resigned, cold and sad almost at the same time.

He came to me on his own initially, he wanted the very best service I could offer to help them. He didn’t believe the marriage was over and he told me he would throw all he could at saving his family.

I explained to him that I do run intensive programs for Marriages in Crisis [Read more...]

Life Secrets: Relationships, Money, Health

If you knew there were simple steps to becoming successful in the areas of life that are important to you wouldn’t you want to know what those steps were?

Within every person that comes for help I am looking for ways in which I can help them discover their strengths. Powerful parts of themselves they have hidden without knowing.

I believe there is a key to everyones inner strength something that will create the desire within them to take action and to claim the life that will equal fulfillment for them.

We all have strengths and yet months or years of battling with life, careers, relationships, children and even ourselves can wear us down.   [Read more...]

Understanding what men want

Yes men have needs too and if she can learn to understand what he needs he will feel great about himself and attach that great feeling to her. So below is an outline of what he wants/needs. Of course every man is different and so try out some of the suggestions below and see what reaction you get.

He wants to know he can please her. This is a primary driver in most men and is a significant source of pain if he feels can’t. If she’s not happy he will be in pain.

He wants her to give him feedback. If you don’t tell a man when he’s done well he will assume his actions haven’t worked and he will never do it again. [Read more...]

Groundhog Day…

Many couples live in a Groundhog Day existence , with activities such as work, children, same kinds of things happen every day.

This kind of life just happens to people they don’t actually plan it…

So do you ever feel like this, maybe you’re bored with life and you wished there was more? Or maybe you are one of the lucky ones that’s got the perfect life?

Well it got me thinking, what if you were to design the perfect Groundhog Day, what would it look like?

This is the Groundhog Day you would be very happy to live every day… [Read more...]

Maintaining attraction from dating through to married life

Today’s post is highly relevant to married couples as well as for single people looking for love. It is important because creating attraction is critical no matter what relationship phase you are in.

The pitfall that most people fall into in the early stages of their relationship is they naturally give to their partner what they think they themselves would like.

The problem the couple now face is they are very likely to want to please each other, but they could be turning each other off without knowing. People who are dating end up losing partners that are potentially good for them and married couples end up fulfilling their emotional needs outside the relationship. [Read more...]

Dating advice that leads couples to pleasure not pain

Knowing how to date in a way that protects you is critical. I have seen so many married couples in trauma it’s easy to see why when you explore how they dated.

What was the foundation of their relationship and how has it affected their dynamics?

If you want to get the best out of your dating then learn from those who have got it wrong. Discover what they did wrong and do the opposite. Today I will cover one aspect of dating that is key if the goal is to find a long-term partner.

If you speak to couples in trauma what you would discover is what initially attracted them to their partners is no longer attractive and is one of the main causes of their break up. [Read more...]

Relationship Mastery

Give your love unconditionally, or it may cripple your relationship. Read on and I will share how this can happen. A few months back a couple came to see me she had decided the relationship was over, she felt he was no longer the man she married and she saw no future.

He was very keen to get her back. I was concerned because he was so fearful about losing her, he would do anything to get her back and be unsuccessful if his efforts felt weak and needy to her. She was very clear she would be open minded, but he has to do this for himself not for her, or just to get the relationship back. [Read more...]

How easy love can die yet a simple change can bring it back

For twenty years they lived together, she never felt loved by him, but he loved her with all his heart. He showed his love in so many ways, but she never really felt it.

He gave her everything he could think of, but he knew in his heart whatever he did was never really enough. Even though he knew she was not truly happy inside he could never let her go, because he loved her so much. He hoped she would see what a great man he was and the unspoken problems would go away. [Read more...]

How to make him want you back

If you want him to want you back, then you have to understand why you’re not together today. What is it that helped him feel that you were not right for each other?

The number one reason is going to be that he didn’t feel good about himself when he was with you.

The question is why did he leave you?

Most men leave relationships because they don’t feel they can be successful with their partners in the way they want. [Read more...]

He stood tears rolling down his face…

Smiling through his tears, at last he could see there was hope for the future for him and his wife, he felt lighter, free and he could feel within him confidence for his future start to fill his body.

Four hours earlier he thought he understood how his life worked and why it was going wrong. He was shocked to discover he was totally in the dark and happiness for him and his wife was a totally random event.

He discovered there was a way he could be a man in his relationship and in his life. He now knew what he had to do to love and protect all those he cared for, plus he could do all this without fear. [Read more...]

“It Seems Like a Miracle…” Sara talks about her experience of working through her relationship problems with Stephen Hedger

My Husband and I had problems for over a year, so much so that my husband had moved out.

After 4 months of living separately, we decided to look for a marriage counselor. I did a lot of research on the internet and one day I got lucky and found Stephen Hedger’s website and i instantly liked the style of his coaching. [Read more...]

The pillars for relationship success

I’m sure you will agree that if the foundations of the relationship are not strong then the relationship is going to suffer.

So what are the foundations?

  • The individuals in the relationship have to understand what it takes to make themselves happy.
  • They have to understand what needs are important to them so they can communicate those needs to their partner.
  • They have to understand how their partner is different to them and learn about their needs.
  • They have to learn how to have conflict and grow from it, most people have conflict and die each time they argue. [Read more...]

I want to trust but I can’t

If someone has a problem with trust it can cause big problems in their relationships. Trust is a fundamental part of growth. Without trust the relationship dies.

When I work with individuals who are challenged in this area what we usually discover is they don’t know how to trust themselves. Some are aware of this within themselves and some don’t know.

A person who doesn’t know how to trust themselves feels they will be safer if they create some kind of blanket coping mechanism that fits all situations. [Read more...]

Have You Lost Sight of Your Future?

Many people experience problems such as stress, depression, constant relationship challenges and over time stop seeing a future for themselves and can no longer see a future with their partner.

This lack of vision is created by years of feeling stuck and unhappy. They go through a process of having to change who they are to cope with their relationship problems and their partners behaviours. Some feel they have detached from their true self not liking  who they have become.

This process of constant problems is actually changing them, because they are entering into a state of fear that their life is not going to be safe if their partner continues to behave this way in their relationship. [Read more...]

The Most Important Decision of Your Life

Image if you have to make a decision, this decision would affect your whole life, if you got it wrong it would affect those you loved the most, and could affect the way you live. This could also significantly affect your finances. Getting it wrong could also put others in charge of key elements of ­your life meaning you are not free.

Clearly this is a very BIG decision. Now imagine you have no education to know if you are qualified to make this decision and all you have is a gut feeling based on limited experience. [Read more...]

Are you a boiled frog?

Many years ago in my 20’s I was told the story of “The Boiled frog”.

If a frog was put into a pan of cold water and that pan was brought to the boil the frog would just sit in the pan and slowly die. But if you dropped the frog into the boiling water it would jump out immediately rejecting this hostile environment.

[This of course is a metaphor for life, so please don’t do this!]

This story had a profound effect on me. It got me thinking am I a boiled frog? Is my life slowly killing me? Am I staying in a life that doesn’t work, or make me happy? [Read more...]

Kissing Too Many Frogs?

Finding the right person to spend your life with is so critical. Getting it wrong can cause so much heartache both for men and women.

So what happens when you keep getting proof that your relationships are not working. What do you do? How do you solve this, who do you blame?

One of my clients in her early forties had this very experience in her words “…for decades”.

Fears play a huge part in the process of getting relationships wrong so this was my instant focus for her. I knew that the fears in her were going to attract men who liked that fearful version of her.

This was a recipe for disaster so I had to help her understand how to create the right version of her so she could attract men who liked her, just the way she was, the real her – minus the fears! [Read more...]

Who Are You? What is Your Life Purpose?

Do you know? Unless you know who you are, how will you create a “Life Purpose”? Do you know what your life purpose is? Does this suddenly feel important for you to know?

For most when this question is considered they can start to feel uneasy as they start to realise that the days are flicking by faster and faster. They will notice that they have no real direction and the days just happen to them, so they live in reaction to what the world throws at them.

Life is happening all around them, they are part of it, but they are not in control of a direction that has a meaning defined by them – in essence they are out of control.

Most people like to use label to define themselves, I.E. I’m a Doctor, or a Banker, or a House Wife. These are great, but do those labels really define who they are and is that their life purpose? [Read more...]

I Spend A Lot Of Time Helping Men Become More Confident Partners

To be honest men are confused with their relationships and it’s not difficult to understand why, from his perspective she doesn’t make sense at all. So my job is to help the men with understanding her so he can be successful with her again.

Typical questions from men?

  • She wants equality in the relationship, but she wants to be treated like a lady?
  • She wants security in the relationship, but the money I make doesn’t make her feel secure with me?
  • She disrespects me in arguments and says awful things, but she tells me what she really wants is love. How do you love someone who’s screaming at you?
  • I tell her I love her, but weeks later she wants to hear it again, does she not believe me?
  • When she talks to me I try to fix her problems, but all she gets is crosser.
  • The more I try to please her, the more irritated she becomes.
  • Whatever I do never seems to make her happy.
  • She seems to be getting so tough and distant I keep out of her way.
  • I buy her loads of presents, but nothing cheers her up.

These are just a few perspectives I get from men.

All of these questions have very easy answers, but from a mans perspective it feels impossible, he will feel like he has tried everything and failed.

Why because men and women think totally differently, the differences are very real and through this lack of understanding massive problems can come out of confusion.

The truth is he has only tried what he knows and there is a lot he is not aware of. Being female being one of them.

It is this simple knowledge and new perspective of understanding each other differently that builds confidence that he can be successful with her again.

This is one of the keys to why I can be so successful with couple so quickly.

Lack of understanding creates fears and the fears destroy the relationships.

Of course this is not a one way street, women need to understand their men too and women are equally confused.

  • If you love each other and want fast answers then get in touch today! Click here