If you translate your partners behaviours to be bad yet you miss their true intent which was actually good who in the moment has caused the relationship stress?
This situation is practiced by so many couples and they simply can’t see it. As a result they will cycle through blame, frustration, anger, sadness and potential detachment. The problem this situation creates is when we feel someone has done us a wrong and it hurts us we will remember it and hold on to it.
So when the person who says they love you has hurt you and it happens again and again we go on red alert. You see not being loved in the way we need has so much pain attached to it, many of us will avoid that feeling at all costs, so the result is we will move to protect ourselves.
This means we are looking for what’s wrong instead of looking for our partners intent. [Read more...]