What are the weapons in your relationships

Many relationships are suffering today because as the individuals in the relationship start to feel something is not right for them they use certain behaviours to help them feel safe again.

The behaviours are the tools that individuals have learnt that keeps the relationship together, but in a way that makes them both unhappy.

The couple maybe experiencing a conflict of not knowing what to do. If they stay in the relationship they are in pain, miserable, if they leave the relationship they cannot imagine life without their partner.

The weapons that people use can range from humor to threats to leave, from withholding intimacy to running away.

They use these tools as leverage to get what they want from their relationships. The problems is the weapons or tools are being used to re-balance the relationship from a place of fear.

A fear of life not being the way the individual wants it to be. So the actions and result all come from and create a distortion of the truth in the relationship.

The key to helping relationships is to help the couple feel safe enough and incentivised enough that there is a better way to achieve the security they both desire whilst creating harmony.

Is this happening in your relationship?

What Makes Relationships Successful?

One of the questions I get asked as a relationship coach is what makes the difference between an normal or failing relationship and an extra-ordinary relationship or what makes relationships successful?

The answer is simple…

Apply these simple 3 steps to your relationship every day

  1. Understand what you need

  2. Understand what your partner needs

  3. And spend your life giving your partner what they
    need every single day.

When you live in a relationship that is full of two people who understand each others needs to this degree and they are using their energy to make sure their partner is meeting their daily needs, this is a relationship that has no choice but to grow on every possible level.

Both people in the relationship will feel so loved and important to each other, and this will create a security and freedom between them that will enable unconditional love to flourish.

However most people don’t live in this relationship…

…because they don’t practice those three rules.

If you are in a relationship that just ok, or you seem to be fighting alot and you’re scared for the future, or you would like a partner, but have yet to find one.

  • Those 3 key rules must be your relationship goal starting today.

The reverse of the above is divorce, separation, affairs, lack of intimacy, lack of trust, lack of respect and plenty of pain…

How to discover your needs

Coaching with Stephen Hedger will help both you and your partner understand what those critical needs are. If you are single then we will discover your needs so you can communicate them to your new partners when you get them.