“Should I be in this marriage?” She asked

So I was chatting with a lady who was recommended to me and she wanted to find out if I could help her and her husband?

They were at breaking point and she was about to action lawyers, but she was unsure if she had really tried everything and had heard from a friend about me. She said she liked the idea that I don’t sit couples in their problems and focus on their past.

I asked her to help me understand from her perspective what she had experienced in the relationship.

As she was talking I could hear straight away that her husband was not protecting her emotionally and she was having to look after herself in her marriage.

I could hear she didn’t feel emotionally safe with him and she had lost all sense of who she was and was struggling to make a decision about her marriage that made sense to her. It was especially painful as she had young children and knew the wrong decision would affect them for life. [Read more...]

Same sex marriage hits crisis point and start consulting divorce lawyers

I had got to the point where I was consulting divorce lawyers and I really could see no solution in saving my marriage and I was in a real mess. 

I did a lot of research and finally found Stephen.

His testimonials looked great and I honestly felt I had no alternative. If I was going to give this one shot, I wanted Stephen to help me.

My husband was extremely reluctant and is not a massive talker and I knew I had a challenge getting him there. [Read more...]

I want to tell you a story…

This story is about a couple that had been married for many years, their marriage had it ups and downs. Both people were very successful, both were committed to their marriage, but had years of disconnection followed by reconnection and it cycled through these stages. They assumed this was normal and it was normal if the end of their relationship was the goal? 

Of course like many couples they didn’t want to split up it was never a thought yet they were living an illusion that what they had was going to last forever.

Both were attractive people and had the opportunity of affairs over the years yet both stayed true, year after year.

Their depth of love was deep, but they had lost their passion for each other. They had focused their passion in to their work, children, interests. [Read more...]

Relationships don’t just happen they are created…

Think about this, how much attention time and effort do people spend on dating each other, making the right impression, having fun, doing special things together?

Now think about this, when people get divorced how much time effort and money is focused on getting divorced, lawyers, planning what they want.

Now look at when the couple are married how much time, effort and money do they focus on creating the relationship they really want? That’s right most people spend next to no time on feeding the relationship what it really needs and are shocked when it starts to go wrong. [Read more...]

Divorce Lawyers and Clients: A United Front

Rosemary Savage a leading Matrimonial Solicitor with thirty years experience in the field of family law and mediation and senior partner of Hampstead and Welwyn Garden City based law firm, R A Savage & Co explores the benefits of life coaching and relationship break down therapy for those faced with the inevitable psychological effects of family breakdown and separation.

“As family lawyers my colleagues and I are attuned to the fact that divorce is a time of immense stress and anxiety for those persons concerned. When faced with the turmoil and reality of separation and consequential family breakdown it often becomes apparent when a client displays the characteristics of feeling that they are losing their sense of personal identity. Clients find themselves battling the feeling of insecurity about their future and whether they will ever feel able to move on with their lives and form new relationships.

In some cases, coupled with such anxieties is the feeling of stress with having to engage with lawyers and the court process which is a daunting experience whatever a persons circumstances.

Resolution the national organisation of family lawyers of which my colleagues and I are members is committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes, and describes divorce and separation as being on the life events scale ranking above imprisonment,
retirement, redundancy and only just below the death of spouse.

When conducting a client’s case it can often initially be difficult to take instructions and advise as they will often be encountering the feeling of bereavement as a reaction to changes and the loss of either a partner and/or contact with their child/children.

When met with a client challenged by the emotional turmoil of family breakdown lawyers often have to consider whether a client is ready and/or in the right frame of mind to pursue legal proceedings or alternatively whether first of all it may be more appropriate
for a client to seek the aid of medical advice offered by their respective GP and/or counselling, life coaching, relationship breakdown therapy. The decision as to this is of course that of the client but in my experience such assistance can be invaluable and helps make the process much more manageable for the client with long term benefits.

We all at R A Savage & Co have witnessed first hand those clients who have defeated their past psychological barriers as a result of having sought the aid of life coaching and relationship breakdown therapy in particular.

I cannot emphasise enough the importance of lawyers consciously exploring whether there is a need for such aids in all cases and I echo the following words from Resolution;”

“To be professional is not to, as Lawyers deny our own emotional reactions exist but rather to understand them and deal with them in such a way that our reaction with, and advice given to, our clients remains objective, constructive and truly in the client’s best
interest”.
Rosemary A Savage LL B
Proprietor of R A Savage & Co Solicitors

www.rasavage.co.uk