Who are the couples most likely to fix their marriage?

Couples that are most likely to fix their relationship are the ones that will do whatever it takes to fix it. They are the people who want to get to the truth even if the truth is tough.

The people who fix their relationships are not looking for the quick fix. They are prepared to do what’s hard now, so the rest of their life is easy. This is in stark contrast to those couples who’s philosophy is to repeat what feels easy whilst they battle with their problems for life.

Couples that get results are curious to learn. They are open to see the world from a new perspective, their mission is not to be right at all costs. Their mission is simply to get to the truth. [Read more...]

I give up!

The laws of life tell us that without passion a person will not be motivated to take action towards the goal they have set.

So when a person has tried all they know to fix their relationship without success and time has worn them down to feel emotionally empty, their passion to solve the problems dies and so they edge ever closer to giving up.

This is the place that many coupes end up in. They don’t have the knowledge to question how their brain is interpreting what they are experiencing, this leads them to a very limited view on their relationship without knowing. [Read more...]

How to become a couple for life

In todays post I’m going to give you a skill that’s critical if you want your relationship to work. These days becoming a couple for life is becoming more of a challenge.

Couples are giving up far too early, if they explored the truth in their relationship a significant percentage would learn their relationship could actually be not just saved, but converted into an amazing place of security, love, passion and fun.

Difficult to imagine if you are having a tough time, but it’s possible because I see this change happen right before my eyes as the couple learn how to reconnect.

Couples at the start of their relationships are both doing exactly what works for that couple to have a “success dynamic”. They feel good about themselves when they are with their partner and this is the reason why they are together and can see a wonderful future. [Read more...]

Why suffer when you don’t need to…

Without someone special to share your life with it’s a challenge for many people to feel truly fulfilled. No matter how much wealth, or success a person has, nothing comes close to creating the same feeling of being connected to a person who is equally passionate about your relationship.

Many people who start their relationship with the best of intentions can find themselves in very difficult circumstances, lost, alone, disconnected, misunderstood, with no obvious way to get their relationships back on track.

So couples in this awful place have three choices. [Read more...]

7 Steps to building a secure passionate and everlasting love

Relationship don’t just happen they are created so below are 7 very important steps to consider when choosing to live together. Giving years of the only life you have to another person is a very important consideration, so making sure you’re planning for success would be a really good idea.

1. Plan your journey.

If you don’t know where your going together or what you are trying to achieve both as a couple or as individuals then how can fulfillment happen? Most couples stop planning their future at children. Children and life now becomes the focus and the relationship gets lost.

What’s worse is if the individuals have no plan for themselves and no joint direction. [Read more...]

Panic!

You have tried everything you can think of to fix your marriage and nothing works, you may have tried counselling and that’s not helped and now you’re looking at really big problems. Stay in a marriage that doesn’t work, or go for a divorce that’s scary one minute and attractive the next.

When you’re running out of choices of what to do and the options are looking like big life changing decisions that will affect so many it’s so easy to panic and make the wrong decision.

Now it might be that divorce is right for you, so finding out what direction will lead you to real safely is important, so… [Read more...]

What do you mean?

Meanings are critical part of life, they can lead us to passionate loving connections or to an expensive and messy divorce. So one key part of what I coach couples to understand is the meanings they give to their partners words and actions.

Not understanding this is a major problem for many couples so if your looking for answers this will be key. You see we all create meanings to situations, but most people don’t question the meanings other people are putting to the same situation.

So I remember asking a man in a session to communicate to his partner about their relationship and how he was feeling. I wrote down what he said. I then asked her to tell me what he had just said, so she did… [Read more...]

No energy for passion eh?

A couple were in my session they said they had really busy lives and not much energy for passion. Both said by 9.00pm they were tired from work, cooking and kids. So I asked them if a man from the nationally lottery turned up at 9.00pm with £20,000,000 would they still have no energy. Of course not they both answered.

So it’s not true you have no energy, you just have no energy when left alone with each other, your love is clearly there, they nodded, but you are not using the energy that’s clearly inside you both for each other? This got them thinking…

You see life is about the energy you bring to your life, successful lives is about the energy that brings the outcomes you desire. A successful relationship is about creating the energy that both people can share and enjoy.

So what energy is going to lead couples to success? [Read more...]

Marriage in crisis? 3 Steps To Success

There are 3 key pillars to getting couples to a safer loving connected life together. This dynamic and educational approach is unique to my specialist marriage in crisis service. 

Step 1: Help both people discover their true essence.

Their true essence is the place where fulfilment is possible. It’s so important that individuals learn the steps to reclaim themselves. When relationships become destructive both people change and this process is very painful and emotionally exhausting.

It’s so challenging to solve a relationship problem if [Read more...]

Signs your marriage is over for her?

So how do you know when your marriage is over. For many women the marriage starts to feel over when she feels the man in her life doesn’t or will not connect with her emotionally.

Many couples that come for help have a very common problem, they find the husband can be very capable practically, but he struggles to connect with her on an emotional level. This can help her feel lonely and disconnected from him.

Many women who find themselves in this place of no connection for too long can search for the connection they need in other places. Some go to their children, some go to their friends and family and of course some seek out new connections. (If you are considering an affair please rethink as the complications are significant and are likely to confuse a secure direction). [Read more...]

Who do you become to cope with your problems?

One of the most challenging parts of building a successful marriage is when one or both people are living, or are focused in such away they have become someone they are not to cope with their relationship or their life. 

This is most apparent when couples misunderstand each others words or actions and they move to protect themselves. They can become frustrated, angry, shut down, sad, depressed or lonely to name a few.

For example:

When a relationship goes wrong a person will naturally move to focus on protecting themselves, the problem is, if this focus is practiced enough that person can become stuck in becoming someone they are not and living that way in their relationship. [Read more...]

Thank you

Dear Valued Readers

I know that some of you have been readers for many years and I want to thank you for your ongoing support and your kind words. Today I want to give you free advice that is more targeted to your problem.

Many of you have written to me to tell your stories and how my posts have helped, by the way I do love reading the letters. I am committed to keeping this free online help going and I want to be more affective for you. I want to become more relevant to your specific problems.

>>>So with this in mind I need your help… [Read more...]

I could feel anger bubbling within me

When I was growing up I never knew that I needed skills to make my relationships work. It never crossed my mind, I thought that relationships just happened. Two people met fell in love and that was life sorted.

So when problems started to happen for me the message was… “you have to work at it”. Well that message sounded hard to do because I had no idea what that really meant and aren’t relationships supposed to be fun? Good Lord, what was I thinking! Clearly not much back then, but I knew I was getting it wrong…

So when I started my search to discover what would really work I had no idea I was in for such a steep learning curve.

There was so much to learn and as I discovered more I could feel anger bubbling within me, why was I not taught this growing up? After all isn’t falling in love and keeping a relationship alive one of the biggest life skills we all need?

I didn’t know that the way women think was totally different to me. [Read more...]

Why is my marriage failing?

The answer to this question is so important to understand no matter what the outcome. If you want to keep your marriage then naturally you have to understand why it’s failing to fix it.

But did you know that if a marriage fails and why it’s failed is not fully understood then that person should expect problems to follow them.

Look at this awful situation of not knowing why his marriage failed and what it did to this man and his family.

Two years ago I spoke to a gentleman who had divorced his wife and left his family. At the time he felt this was the best decision for him because they had spent so much time in conflict and he felt [Read more...]

FEELINGS: What is your mind really trying to tell you?

Feelings are very powerful and life changing decisions can be created from them, especially if we keep having the same feelings about the same things.

For example: My husband doesn’t understand me, or my wife is so negative. If people keep having this experience what feelings will they experience and what meanings will be created?

The wife that thinks her husband doesn’t understand her is going to have feelings that means he doesn’t care. The husband that thinks his wife is always negative is going to feel she is impossible to please.

Practiced enough these two feelings can lead a couple to [Read more...]

Major Cause of Marriage Problems: Loss of your sex life

One of the major causes of marriage problems is sexual disconnection. Couples that are struggling to connect outside of the bedroom will undoubtedly have trouble connecting within it.

Both male and female have the ability to disconnect if they feel the marriage is not working for them.

For those thinking that you have a sexual problem please be mindful that your sex life, or lack of it, is likely to be due to problems in your current dynamic combined with your history together.

One gentlemen came to me so shocked that his partner had embarked on a string of one night stands. He told me that because they had not had sex for years he was convinced she just wasn’t interested in sex. We are all sexual creatures [Read more...]

Battle of the mind

You may have noticed that you have a battle in your mind. Did you know that everyone has these battles and for some these battles can keep them stuck, others can have battles that slowly lead them to a future they really never wanted.

It is true that the way you think creates your future, so if you want to move towards the future you desire then learning this could literally change your life forever.

As an example, wealthy people think differently to people without financial resources. There is a saying that suggests that if all the worlds wealth was evenly distributed to everyone, eventually the wealth would land back where it is today.

In my sessions many people are thinking protection in their quest to become safer in their relationship. They think, if I shut down, numb my feelings I will be safe. In the short-term this works. So the person keeps practicing these thoughts, in other words they condition/programme their own mind that this thinking is the way to stay safe and secure. [Read more...]

Don’t let the old people move in to your life

I wanted to give you something today to have a think about over the weekend. My hope for some of you is this will spark a new energy to achieve something great for you and those you love. 

From time-to-time a story hits the press where a person over the age of 70 has just jumped out of a plane, finished a degree, started a new business.

These amazing characters are giving us a message that for them it’s never too late and you’re never too old to go for a dream.

My father for example he is 74 years old and I know will never retire, he says maybe in the next 10 years, BTW it’s their 50th Wedding anniversary today, amazing.

One of my mentors Jim Rohn believes it takes just six years to become a millionaire with the right thinking and actions. So in terms of a life six years is not very long and can easily be fitted in at any point into a persons life even at retirement. [Read more...]

Couples dynamic: Does yours work?

How couples behave in their relationship will have a significant affect on how they feel about each other and themselves, so it’s important to get this right.

Couples can find that over time their dynamic can change and this has critical consequences for the couple leaving them with a hidden challenge and several presenting problems as a result.

These presenting problems could be arguments, depression, constant tiredness, loss of energy, loss of passion, desire to get out of the relationship. This means the couple will struggle and suffer as they try to cope with each other.

An example:

Lets imagine a couple are focused on love, passion and adventure, it’s an amazing start to the relationship. So good in fact they decide to get married and have children. [Read more...]

Cloé Hedger Being the Wife of Relationship Coach Stephen Hedger – Simon Cowell & Lifes Journey

cloenewCloé Hedger formally pop star Allison Jordan speaks about her relationship with Simon Cowell. What lead her to be a pop star and her life today with relationship coach Stephen Hedger…

[Please note: Videos on this page are not showing on mobiles. Videos are viewable from PCs and macs.]

If you have ever had a relationship coaching session with Stephen Hedger, then no doubt you have heard of me in one of his stories. He does tell me that he uses me and our relationship in his sessions and that people are curious about what it’s is like to be the wife of a relationship coach.

So I thought I would introduce myself, tell you a little about my background and a little about being the wife of a relationship coach.

[Read more...]