No energy for passion eh?

A couple were in my session they said they had really busy lives and not much energy for passion. Both said by 9.00pm they were tired from work, cooking and kids. So I asked them if a man from the nationally lottery turned up at 9.00pm with £20,000,000 would they still have no energy. Of course not they both answered.

So it’s not true you have no energy, you just have no energy when left alone with each other, your love is clearly there, they nodded, but you are not using the energy that’s clearly inside you both for each other? This got them thinking…

You see life is about the energy you bring to your life, successful lives is about the energy that brings the outcomes you desire. A successful relationship is about creating the energy that both people can share and enjoy.

So what energy is going to lead couples to success? [Read more...]

Marriage in crisis? 3 Steps To Success

There are 3 key pillars to getting couples to a safer loving connected life together. This dynamic and educational approach is unique to my specialist marriage in crisis service. 

Step 1: Help both people discover their true essence.

Their true essence is the place where fulfilment is possible. It’s so important that individuals learn the steps to reclaim themselves. When relationships become destructive both people change and this process is very painful and emotionally exhausting.

It’s so challenging to solve a relationship problem if [Read more...]

Signs your marriage is over for her?

So how do you know when your marriage is over. For many women the marriage starts to feel over when she feels the man in her life doesn’t or will not connect with her emotionally.

Many couples that come for help have a very common problem, they find the husband can be very capable practically, but he struggles to connect with her on an emotional level. This can help her feel lonely and disconnected from him.

Many women who find themselves in this place of no connection for too long can search for the connection they need in other places. Some go to their children, some go to their friends and family and of course some seek out new connections. (If you are considering an affair please rethink as the complications are significant and are likely to confuse a secure direction). [Read more...]

Who do you become to cope with your problems?

One of the most challenging parts of building a successful marriage is when one or both people are living, or are focused in such away they have become someone they are not to cope with their relationship or their life. 

This is most apparent when couples misunderstand each others words or actions and they move to protect themselves. They can become frustrated, angry, shut down, sad, depressed or lonely to name a few.

For example:

When a relationship goes wrong a person will naturally move to focus on protecting themselves, the problem is, if this focus is practiced enough that person can become stuck in becoming someone they are not and living that way in their relationship. [Read more...]

Thank you

Dear Valued Readers

I know that some of you have been readers for many years and I want to thank you for your ongoing support and your kind words. Today I want to give you free advice that is more targeted to your problem.

Many of you have written to me to tell your stories and how my posts have helped, by the way I do love reading the letters. I am committed to keeping this free online help going and I want to be more affective for you. I want to become more relevant to your specific problems.

>>>So with this in mind I need your help… [Read more...]

I could feel anger bubbling within me

When I was growing up I never knew that I needed skills to make my relationships work. It never crossed my mind, I thought that relationships just happened. Two people met fell in love and that was life sorted.

So when problems started to happen for me the message was… “you have to work at it”. Well that message sounded hard to do because I had no idea what that really meant and aren’t relationships supposed to be fun? Good Lord, what was I thinking! Clearly not much back then, but I knew I was getting it wrong…

So when I started my search to discover what would really work I had no idea I was in for such a steep learning curve.

There was so much to learn and as I discovered more I could feel anger bubbling within me, why was I not taught this growing up? After all isn’t falling in love and keeping a relationship alive one of the biggest life skills we all need?

I didn’t know that the way women think was totally different to me. [Read more...]

Why is my marriage failing?

The answer to this question is so important to understand no matter what the outcome. If you want to keep your marriage then naturally you have to understand why it’s failing to fix it.

But did you know that if a marriage fails and why it’s failed is not fully understood then that person should expect problems to follow them.

Look at this awful situation of not knowing why his marriage failed and what it did to this man and his family.

Two years ago I spoke to a gentleman who had divorced his wife and left his family. At the time he felt this was the best decision for him because they had spent so much time in conflict and he felt [Read more...]

FEELINGS: What is your mind really trying to tell you?

Feelings are very powerful and life changing decisions can be created from them, especially if we keep having the same feelings about the same things.

For example: My husband doesn’t understand me, or my wife is so negative. If people keep having this experience what feelings will they experience and what meanings will be created?

The wife that thinks her husband doesn’t understand her is going to have feelings that means he doesn’t care. The husband that thinks his wife is always negative is going to feel she is impossible to please.

Practiced enough these two feelings can lead a couple to [Read more...]

Major Cause of Marriage Problems: Loss of your sex life

One of the major causes of marriage problems is sexual disconnection. Couples that are struggling to connect outside of the bedroom will undoubtedly have trouble connecting within it.

Both male and female have the ability to disconnect if they feel the marriage is not working for them.

For those thinking that you have a sexual problem please be mindful that your sex life, or lack of it, is likely to be due to problems in your current dynamic combined with your history together.

One gentlemen came to me so shocked that his partner had embarked on a string of one night stands. He told me that because they had not had sex for years he was convinced she just wasn’t interested in sex. We are all sexual creatures [Read more...]

Battle of the mind

You may have noticed that you have a battle in your mind. Did you know that everyone has these battles and for some these battles can keep them stuck, others can have battles that slowly lead them to a future they really never wanted.

It is true that the way you think creates your future, so if you want to move towards the future you desire then learning this could literally change your life forever.

As an example, wealthy people think differently to people without financial resources. There is a saying that suggests that if all the worlds wealth was evenly distributed to everyone, eventually the wealth would land back where it is today.

In my sessions many people are thinking protection in their quest to become safer in their relationship. They think, if I shut down, numb my feelings I will be safe. In the short-term this works. So the person keeps practicing these thoughts, in other words they condition/programme their own mind that this thinking is the way to stay safe and secure. [Read more...]

Don’t let the old people move in to your life

I wanted to give you something today to have a think about over the weekend. My hope for some of you is this will spark a new energy to achieve something great for you and those you love. 

From time-to-time a story hits the press where a person over the age of 70 has just jumped out of a plane, finished a degree, started a new business.

These amazing characters are giving us a message that for them it’s never too late and you’re never too old to go for a dream.

My father for example he is 74 years old and I know will never retire, he says maybe in the next 10 years, BTW it’s their 50th Wedding anniversary today, amazing.

One of my mentors Jim Rohn believes it takes just six years to become a millionaire with the right thinking and actions. So in terms of a life six years is not very long and can easily be fitted in at any point into a persons life even at retirement. [Read more...]

Couples dynamic: Does yours work?

How couples behave in their relationship will have a significant affect on how they feel about each other and themselves, so it’s important to get this right.

Couples can find that over time their dynamic can change and this has critical consequences for the couple leaving them with a hidden challenge and several presenting problems as a result.

These presenting problems could be arguments, depression, constant tiredness, loss of energy, loss of passion, desire to get out of the relationship. This means the couple will struggle and suffer as they try to cope with each other.

An example:

Lets imagine a couple are focused on love, passion and adventure, it’s an amazing start to the relationship. So good in fact they decide to get married and have children. [Read more...]

Cloé Hedger Being the Wife of Relationship Coach Stephen Hedger – Simon Cowell & Lifes Journey

cloenewCloé Hedger formally pop star Allison Jordan speaks about her relationship with Simon Cowell. What lead her to be a pop star and her life today with relationship coach Stephen Hedger…

[Please note: Videos on this page are not showing on mobiles. Videos are viewable from PCs and macs.]

If you have ever had a relationship coaching session with Stephen Hedger, then no doubt you have heard of me in one of his stories. He does tell me that he uses me and our relationship in his sessions and that people are curious about what it’s is like to be the wife of a relationship coach.

So I thought I would introduce myself, tell you a little about my background and a little about being the wife of a relationship coach.

[Read more...]

5 Steps to know if you are in the right relationship

I have an amazing job I spending my days teaching couples how to fall in love again, or know they are really with the wrong partner.

I really can’t think of a more rewarding life. Every day couples come looking for advice, they want to know if they are compatible because their past has put their compatibility in question?

My job is to take those couples through 5 key stages that will help them learn their truth. These steps are so valuable they can actually save lives from being wasted and as we only have one life this is critical to know.

I believe your life is valuable and understanding if you’re with the right partner has got to be worth it’s weight in gold. [Read more...]

Fastest way to lose your sex life

Couples that lose their intimate connection have done so for good reason. The challenge is they don’t really understand why it has happened. Worse many couples believe in a devastating myth that the sexual connection dies as the years pass so they expect it to.

The result is they do little to change their behaviours and happily step closer and closer to really big problems.

Some couples have come to me because they think they or their partner has a problem with sex. Most sexual problems couples face is not a sexual issue, for many it’s a symptom of a deeper challenge in the couples dynamic.

I have a seen quite a few couples that have ended up in a very traumatised state because they thought a sexual problem needs a sexual therapist. [Read more...]

Do you have a success philosophy?

A secure prosperous life is dependant on understanding this key to success in any area of your life… Please don’t ignore this because it’s critical to understand and at the end of this post I will share one of the key philosophies that lead my clients to success that you can start taking action on today.

Every day millions of people are spending significant time and money on what will make little difference in terms of gaining them the lives they really want. These people are not horrible trouble makers, they are really nice hard working people, but they have unchallenged life philosophies that will actually lead them to disaster. Worse is when individuals feel their philosophies are secure even though their life is screaming at them that something is wrong.

So lets look at some examples: [Read more...]

The Warrior & The Princess

When the warrior first meets and falls for the princess he marvels at her beauty, he stands by her side looking after her, protecting her and loving her. Full of his love the princess connects with his powerful presence, his honestly and his strength for her. 

She looks into his eyes and sees the future clearly, a wonderful life is possible with a warrior like this she feels. She knows this man loves her and she can see he will become a great man, so her future looks full and secure.

So the princess gives herself to the warrior and they agree to spend their life together. Every day the warrior goes into battle, his mission to protect his family.

She loves and nurtures her new family and she is absorbed with her new role, she is no longer just a princess she is now a mother and lover too. [Read more...]

Should we divorce or should we stay together?

Perfectly reasonable question for couples who are struggling to see eye-to-eye especially if the challenge has gone on for long enough, or a sudden breach of trust has put the relationship into question.

As much as I would love to help the world just learn to love each other, some people are just not right for each other and it’s a painful fact of life.

The challenge they face is how do we know we are making the right decision? This is such an important question as so many couples break up for the wrong reasons, they end up looking for another partner totally opposite to their ex and discover that doesn’t work either this why the second marriage divorce rate is much higher than first marriage divorces. Many people also come into sessions wanting to get back a partner they have just left.

You see the mind can change our feelings and what seems right one day and can actually change the moment reality strikes and they are alone again.  [Read more...]

One session was all it took

I arrived in Harley Street yesterday ready to get working with a couple in my intensive Marriage Profiling Program. When I arrived I received a voice mail from another client I saw earlier in the week and she shared something that is important for all couples to know…

This couple came to their first meeting with me for an evaluation session where we have 90 minutes together. The goal of the first session with any couple is to evaluate where they are in-terms of severity and the goals they would like to achieve.

It was an interesting session because initially their problem was not obvious. [Read more...]

What were you thinking?

Here is what I discovered about life that we don’t get taught at any school. Today I’m going to take a deeper look into why so many people struggle with their relationships and lives. This could be what you are looking for…

It’s so easy to do what will make us successful, but it’s also so easy to do what will cause us problems.

You see lots of decisions can put you on a path of success, or failure. The problem is we have been conditioned that if it doesn’t affect us today, then why worry or take action.

The path to success, or not, is created through our philosophies, our thinking.  [Read more...]