My partner wants to leave me!

Many people who are convinced they must leave their partner find themselves regretting that decision, so I wanted to share a new perspective to help.

When one person wants to leave a marriage, what are they really trying to achieve? For many people, they want to leave because they are genuinely suffering.

Their conclusion is they must leave to stop their suffering or leave to go to a better place. This is a natural and logical observation, but are they right?

The question they are not understanding is what has happened to help them to feel bad, is it really the other person and their marriage or is it something else?

The reality for many couples that come to see me is for them surprising. [Read more...]

He was about to lose her!

So this gentleman came to me upset and confused. What has happened to my marriage? What’s made her so unhappy, and why is she now speaking about leaving me?

He said, “We seemed to be fine we’ve had a great marriage ups and downs like most couples, but this is normal, isn’t it?”

“How did we get here, I thought this happened to other people, not us…”

He went on “I’m a simple man with simple needs I really don’t need that much to be happy.

I agreed with him “…., but one simple thing you want is for her to be happy, is that right?”

He agreed. “That’s why I spent so much time building the business, so she didn’t want for anything.”

I agreed with him that the money was important but. [Read more...]

“I love you – but I’m not in love with you?”

For the person on the receiving end of this statement it’s both upsetting and confusing. So what does this mean and can the relationship recover or be rebuilt from this position.

The first question is what does this really mean?

How I describe this sentence “I love you, but I’m not in love with you?”. The person saying this is accurately describing their feelings.

For example when they look back at their time together there was probably many moments that were filled with love.  When they met, their wedding, the birth of their children, some might connect with love because their partner was part of making our beautiful children. [Read more...]