When couples come to me for help I must take them through some very specific and enlightening stages. These stages are designed to make it easy for both people to see the reality of why they are in trouble and help them reinvest in their marriage so it’s a win-win for both people.
I start their process by engaging in some short-term marriage crisis management where I split their behaviours into two camps.
- The things they must stop doing because they are making the marriage worse.
- The things they must start doing that will be the first bricks in their foundation to support their ability to learn what they must do to get to the right decisions.
The fundamental challenge all couples have is rooted in some kind of trust challenge.
That could be affairs of course but trust in our partners’ ability to keep us safe have our backs, want the best for us, allow us to grow, be who we want to be and trust our partner to really hear us – these are a few typical examples of trust breaks. [Read more...]