I give up!

The laws of life tell us that without passion a person will not be motivated to take action towards the goal they have set.

So when a person has tried all they know to fix their relationship without success and time has worn them down to feel emotionally empty, their passion to solve the problems dies and so they edge ever closer to giving up.

This is the place that many coupes end up in. They don’t have the knowledge to question how their brain is interpreting what they are experiencing, this leads them to a very limited view on their relationship without knowing. [Read more...]

Panic!

You have tried everything you can think of to fix your marriage and nothing works, you may have tried counselling and that’s not helped and now you’re looking at really big problems. Stay in a marriage that doesn’t work, or go for a divorce that’s scary one minute and attractive the next.

When you’re running out of choices of what to do and the options are looking like big life changing decisions that will affect so many it’s so easy to panic and make the wrong decision.

Now it might be that divorce is right for you, so finding out what direction will lead you to real safely is important, so… [Read more...]

No energy for passion eh?

A couple were in my session they said they had really busy lives and not much energy for passion. Both said by 9.00pm they were tired from work, cooking and kids. So I asked them if a man from the nationally lottery turned up at 9.00pm with £20,000,000 would they still have no energy. Of course not they both answered.

So it’s not true you have no energy, you just have no energy when left alone with each other, your love is clearly there, they nodded, but you are not using the energy that’s clearly inside you both for each other? This got them thinking…

You see life is about the energy you bring to your life, successful lives is about the energy that brings the outcomes you desire. A successful relationship is about creating the energy that both people can share and enjoy.

So what energy is going to lead couples to success? [Read more...]

Don’t let the old people move in to your life

I wanted to give you something today to have a think about over the weekend. My hope for some of you is this will spark a new energy to achieve something great for you and those you love. 

From time-to-time a story hits the press where a person over the age of 70 has just jumped out of a plane, finished a degree, started a new business.

These amazing characters are giving us a message that for them it’s never too late and you’re never too old to go for a dream.

My father for example he is 74 years old and I know will never retire, he says maybe in the next 10 years, BTW it’s their 50th Wedding anniversary today, amazing.

One of my mentors Jim Rohn believes it takes just six years to become a millionaire with the right thinking and actions. So in terms of a life six years is not very long and can easily be fitted in at any point into a persons life even at retirement. [Read more...]

Couples dynamic: Does yours work?

How couples behave in their relationship will have a significant affect on how they feel about each other and themselves, so it’s important to get this right.

Couples can find that over time their dynamic can change and this has critical consequences for the couple leaving them with a hidden challenge and several presenting problems as a result.

These presenting problems could be arguments, depression, constant tiredness, loss of energy, loss of passion, desire to get out of the relationship. This means the couple will struggle and suffer as they try to cope with each other.

An example:

Lets imagine a couple are focused on love, passion and adventure, it’s an amazing start to the relationship. So good in fact they decide to get married and have children. [Read more...]

Should all relationships be saved?

Shouldn’t a relationship / marriage be full of love, fun, passion and adventure. Shouldn’t it be a place to go to feel secure? Shouldn’t your partner care about how you feel no matter what? Shouldn’t a relationship have an exciting future?

For many this is how it should be, but isn’t how it actually is. They try to make it work, they try to communicate, but for many getting through to their partner can feel hopeless.

They start to feel their partner doesn’t care and so they suffer and suffer until the suffering turns to detachment and they feel so numb and cold towards their partner, they make the decision to leave the relationship. [Read more...]

Hope

My wife Cloe directed and produced this video “Hope” She has a passion for the work I do which she wanted to help me express to you.

What was interesting about making this video was the way that Cloe and I brought our strengths together to share our passion, to help couples learn there is hope, problems are not permanent as they think.

From my heart I want to share my gratitude to Cloe in helping me share this message of HOPE with you.

To your success

Stephen Hedger

 

 

What she wanted…

What she wanted is for him to learn about her, to care about her and help her to feel that she was number one in his life. She wanted to feel that if he touched her it was because he wanted to get to know her and not that he just want to get something for himself.

She wanted with all her heart for him to help her feel safe and that just being her was enough for him.

She wanted him to look into her eyes and help her to know he would be there forever no matter what happens. [Read more...]

Life for us is an adventure it’s about a planned, fun, free, sexy, passionate sometimes crazy life together.

I’m going to do something today that I don’t normally do, I’m going to give you my personal thoughts on life and relationships. I’m going to take off my professional hat and share what I believe is important and what has worked for my wife Cloe and me.

In my personal experience we only have one life, so go for your dreams don’t hold back ever. I personally couldn’t bear to look back at my life and feel that I didn’t give it my best shot.

Cloe shares this view totally, after all what else would you do? Worry you won’t get it? We agree that having a go, is far more important than focusing on the fear of not getting it. [Read more...]

Relationship Health Check Test

How healthy is your relationship really? Below is a quick test you can try with your partner.

We live in a society of quick fixes, we are conditioned to be more focused on cures rather than prevention and this focus is causing us all problems.

So in a quest to help you avoid or deal with relationship trauma here are some thoughts you can take on-board, or throw to one side until it becomes important? [Read more...]

NEW “FREE Marriage Tips”

Over the next few weeks I will be sharing important information that has helped many marriages come back from the edge of divorce. So please email your friends share this page and next week we will get started.

Why is this information important?

There is no formal education open to the public on how to build successful relationships. This has proved to be devastating for couples who marry expecting their love to last.

They don’t know how their love was created. So when the inevitable problems arise they don’t know how to grow closer through their problems so they pull love away to protect themselves. It’s not long before the couple have lost the focus that created their passion and they are now focused on what’s wrong and their problems.

This is disaster for any relationship. [Read more...]

I do give but I get nothing back?

You are impossible...

When a person feels that they put lots of effort into their relationship and they end up getting very little to nothing back, this can and will cause pain in their relationship.

Many couples come into sessions with this exact complaint.

What’s even more frustrating is when one person does feel they are giving, but their partner communicates,

“What do you give me? I get nothing” or “I know you love me but I don’t feel it”

Many couples are in this space and there is a simple reason behind it. [Read more...]

Free Relationship Course

If you and your partner are struggling to get answers to your relationship questions and you are looking for some free help online then this may help you.

Every day I am helping couples from all walks of life with all kinds of problems. From loss of passion to obsessive compulsive behaviours, from poor communication skills to loss of confidence.

I have put together a mini relationship course on critical topics of focus.

This information is FREE and is designed so you can start to understand where to put your energy. When couples hit problems they are not sure what to do, fear takes over and they make matters worse. [Read more...]

The Biggest Myth That Could Easily Damage Your Relationship

This post is about a relationship myth that we all hear, one which most people will agree with, but it’s one that has tragic consequences if believed to be true.

The Myth: “Passion Dies As Time Passes”

Why is it so many people believe this is true. The answer is because they all experience it. Ask anyone if this is normal most people would agree it is.

The reason it is so dangerous for couples and their relationships is because it’s not strictly true, but if accepted, couples will believe this is normal and accept the death of that part of their relationship.

Loss of intimacy is one of the top reasons for divorce so understanding how to keep the passion alive is critical. [Read more...]

I love her because…

This is Mrs Hedger it’s probably about time you met her.
Today we are going to focus on what you are grateful for and that focus is directed at your partner.

I will start with why I am so grateful for Mrs Hedger.

I am so grateful for Mrs Hedger because even if I had sat down and designed a person to spend my life with I couldn’t have designed someone this perfect for me. [Read more...]

What has to happen for you to feel excited about your relationship?

Discover the top ten things that create the variety you need in your relationship and then share them with your partner. Many couples don’t share what they really need the passion the adventure the excitement from the big things to the little things what is it that makes a difference for you.

So help your partner to know what equals an exciting life to you by sharing how they could really become successful with you.

I feel excited when…

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Relationship Basics – For couples who want a life of love passion and growth

This is a basic skill without it your relationship will suffer. Anyone entering into a relationship or in a committed relationship today needs to ask this question quickly…. “how can I add value to my relationship”

In other words the question needs to be “what can I give?”

Anyone going into a relationship with the focus on “what am I going to get” will discover their relationships are problematic and their intimacy dies quickly as a result. [Read more...]

She had an affair but years later it still tortures him… WHY!!?

“Why did she do it? I just don’t understand why and not knowing, it’s destroying us.” These are the words from a man broken by his wifes actions. Quietly she agrees they can’t go on this way…

It’s very easy to make instant judgments when you first hear these kinds of stories. Everyone will have different instant opinions, but as this story unfolds opinions can change. You see nothing is as black and white as it first seems.

This couple have it all, great business wonderful home beautiful children. So with so much going for them why did their relationship get to the point where an affair was possible for her? [Read more...]

Relationships: Getting Back to the Basics

There are some fundamental basics that when in place will make a significant difference to any relationship.

Relationships are a place to give. Anyone who enters a relationship to take what they need will find themselves in problems very fast. Some people do give, but they give so they can get back. This causes problems too because this is a trade and anyone who trades love will find they lose passion fast. A loss of passion is a big relationship killer.

So giving love unconditionally is critical, anyone choosing to not do this is creating an uncertain future and weakening the foundations of a relationship they want to keep. This happens because as the love comes and goes fear enters the couple bit-by-bit and this builds resentment. [Read more...]

Valentine’s Day is it a good or a bad thing?

In my profession I see the aftermath of what valentines’ day does to couples. So I am curious on your thoughts.

To help you I have some thoughts to share to get the ball rolling.

Firstly I would like to say that giving love at any time has to be a good thing so in essence there is nothing wrong with this special day it’s a great day to share your love with each other.

BUT…

What concerns me is how much pressure is put on the couples to perform on that night and the meaning they put to it when it all goes wrong. [Read more...]