Far too many people are suffering in their relationships unnecessarily. The problem many couples face is they are totally unaware of what’s needed to make their relationship work and by work I mean passionate intimate connection for life.
So in todays post I going to share some key information that could help you understand why problems occur and what to do about them.
Before I do I want to answer the question, “…what do my marriage problems really mean?”
Marriage problems are normal and simply a sign that a change in the relationship is now required. It doesn’t mean the marriage is dead, wrong, or the couple are incompatible.
Many couples sit for years in a cycle of destruction. They go round in circles because they are constantly trying to fix the wrong problem(s).
Constantly trying to fix the wrong problem is totally exhausting and the couple ultimately can run of energy with each other. This results in the loving connection they once felt can start to be replaced with bitterness, frustration, numbness, detachment and resentments to name a few.
A person in this place has the ability to rewrite the relationships story so they can justify their exit.
So if you’re seeking help with your marriage, you’ll have a window of opportunity to get to the core problems your facing and solve them before someone has had enough and calls time.
When couples come to me, I have to help them to see where the problems really are so they can put their effort into those critical areas fast. This is why couples that should be together, but are in crisis can start to see significant improvements in their marriages within a few meetings.
Problems are occurring in all relationships because the following topics are not understood.
Men and women are like a different species: Men and women’s behaviour in intimate relationships are totally different, – I’ll repeat: TOTALLY DIFFERENT. The lack of understanding of these differences causes massive problems as they struggle to be on the same page on many areas in the relationship. What’s challenged is everything, communication, sexual connection, conflict, parenting, money the list is endless. So it’s critical to stop judging and start watching, listing and learning. You can’t turn a woman into a man and expect her to be happy or visa-versa.
Repair your problems fast: Because couples struggle to understand their partner they will naturally struggle to repair the relationship so both people can let their problems go. This is a significant problem because unless the relationship is repaired properly one or both people can start to stack resentments. Resentment staking leads to disconnection which can lead couples to divorce.
Understand your roles: Men and women have specific roles, I have not yet met a couple who already knew the roles that sets the relationship up to keep their attraction alive for life. Roles are understood through the energy that nature has designed for us to keep attraction alive, combined with the core identities that help us to feel good as men and women in our relationships.
Get this wrong and we end up with men that are either seen as masculine bullies, or weak men. Women can end up introverted/submissive, or overly masculine and controlling.
Learn the rules that grow deeper connection: When couples come into meet me, I hear critical relationship rules are being broken constantly in every couple. Knowing the rules that keep the relationship safe is a must for any couple.
Remember your mission is to help your partner feel great and attach great feelings to you. So anything you do that helps them feel bad will also be helping them to meet their critical needs away from you, so it’s important to keep them anchored to you.
Here are a few rules to bear in mind that will help you avoid a bad attachment to you.
- Never make your partner wrong.
- Never try to be right, or win arguments.
- Never question their identity, or who they are.
- Get out of patterns that clearly don’t work.
- Never ever threaten the end of the relationship
- Make sure your commitment to the relationship is the best possible version of you.
- Make steps everyday to help your partner feels important, special, loved.
- Never compare your relationship or your partner to others.
These are a few areas of focus I help couples to learn so they can start the process of breaking through their current problems and build foundations that create the platform to lasting love and passion.
These lessons are critical for any relationship no matter what stage it’s in.
- Getting people out of marital crisis.
- Helping those that are not sure to discover the truth in their marriage.
- Reignite passion in loveless marriages
- Make average relationships safer and alive
- Newly weds who want to avoid the pitfalls
- Great for those looking for new relationship and want to make sure they pick the right person.
If this has struck a chord and you would like help make contact with us so we can find the right solution for you.