Is the Clock Ticking On Your Relationship?

What is going on in your relationship without you knowing?

Des wrote to me because his relationship was over and he was heart-broken (check out his story here). Des did not know that from his perspective and the beliefs he had for how relationships work, that he was destroying his relationship without knowing… The reverse of what he wanted…

Des is not alone… this could be happening to you everyday…

Men and women across the country are just like Des. Without knowing they have created a perspective and beliefs and rules for how relationships work, and they drop this untested system on their relationships.

It’s not long before problems are brewing and arguments start.

Des is not at fault for his lack of understanding of how relationships work, because who in our education system teaches us? NO-ONE!…

But Des has paid the ultimate price and his little boy now is without a father

Most people are blind to the understanding that they DON‘T KNOW, WHAT THEY DON‘T KNOW, and with relationships this is pretty much everyone.

Des’s partner ended the relationship based on a truth from her perspective. Truths from this place are not facts and so the relationship ended for the wrong reasons.

PLEASE don’t assume you know what’s right for your relationship, please find out THE TRUTH, BEFORE THE WRONG TRUTH COMES OUT TO BITE YOU.

If this post has struck a chord with you

  • You can call Stephen Hedger relationship Coach on 0845 519 4808 or
  • You can ask me a question just like Des. Click Free Relationship Advice

Relationship Test – 6 Questions

Complete the relationship test below to discover why your relationship may not be as good as it could be.

If you have any questions about this test then please contact Stephen Hedger Relationship Coach click here

How does your relationship measure up?

Take a few moments to score your relationship below now!

Score yourself from 1-10
1 = never fulfilled  -  10 = totally fulfilled

These questions are about how you feel about what you receive from your partner and if your core needs are being met. If you are unhappy this will start to explain why and in what areas.


Print this page out if that helps

Question 1

How secure does your partner help you to feel in your relationship?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Question 2

Does you partner help you to feel excited about your relationship and future together?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Question 3

Do you feel that you are the most important part of your partners life?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Question 4

How much love do you feel you receive from your partner?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Question 5

Do you feel that your partner is helping to grow your relationship to keep it alive?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Question 6

Does your partner give to you and asks for nothing in return?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Your scores

Remember these scores are from your own perspective and are therefore up for discussion with your partner, but what you feel is important and can fuel decisions. So find out where you really are in your relationship before you start pressing destruct buttons.

***The scores below are meant to be a guide only, so if you are unsure seek professional help.***

If your scores were 48-60 – Then you are in great shape. Keep an eye on those scores that were lower and ensure that you keep doing more of what is clearly working and do your best to get 10′s all round.

If your scores were 30 – 47 – Then your critical relationship needs are not being met and so this may be causing you to have problems. Look at the areas that are the lowest and see if together you can start to change the behaviours that are causing these problems.

If your scores were below 30 – Then you might be thinking about the chances of you both surviving. You are probably spending more and more time apart. If you are in this place all is never lost and with the right help you can discover the passion you once had for each other.

What did you discover?

Successful relationships can only happen when the core needs of both people in the relationship are being met. The most successful relationships work when the scores to all these questions are high.

This will give you a good snap shot of where your relationship is today and the areas which need help.

If you have scored your partner low, find out why you feel this way and how you can work together to fix this problem you are now both aware of .

There’s more

You can do the test again yourself and mark how you think your partner would score you. Then let them take the test and see how your answers compare.

Please feel free share what have discovered below.