Mastering Your Emotions

If you translate your partners behaviours to be bad yet you miss their true intent which was actually good who in the moment has caused the relationship stress?

This situation is practiced by so many couples and they simply can’t see it. As a result they will cycle through blame, frustration, anger, sadness and potential detachment. The problem this situation creates is when we feel someone has done us a wrong and it hurts us we will remember it and hold on to it.

So when the person who says they love you has hurt you and it happens again and again we go on red alert. You see not being loved in the way we need has so much pain attached to it, many of us will avoid that feeling at all costs, so the result is we will move to protect ourselves.

This means we are looking for what’s wrong instead of looking for our partners intent. [Read more...]

Is Stress Affecting Your Relationship & Life?

Anyone suffering from stress will be affecting not only their relationship, but all parts of their life.

When we feel over loaded, or over whelmed we have feelings of stress and it is very damaging to our bodies, to those we love and every aspect of our lives.

Relationships themselves can cause stress, as couples can live together with a range of experiences from not feeling enough, to something is wrong, from not getting what they need to a loss of love. Stress can have explosive results due to obvious situations in relationships such as affairs and gross loss of trust.

High pressure jobs can affect your stress levels especially the high risk ones here is a few…

  • Recruitment Consultants
  • Lawyers/Solicitors
  • Teachers
  • Health Care workers
  • Bankers and city traders
  • Head Chefs
  • IT Helpdesk Providers

Other top stress drivers

  • Death of a spouse
  • Divorce
  • Marriage
  • Pregnancy
  • Buying a house
  • Christmas

Of course many of these factors can be having an impact on one person all at once and overload can start to take hold.

At this point chemicals are released into the persons body and will create the physical symptoms of stress and so idividuals will use coping mechanisms to rebalance how they feel.

Physical symptoms of stress

  • Over-eating
  • Excessive drinking of alcohol
  • Loss of appetite or anorexia
  • Smoking more
  • Irritability with other people
  • Substance Abuse
  • You can’t make decisions, large or small.
  • Lack of concentration
  • Increased and suppressed anger
  • Loss of your sense of humor
  • Paranoia
  • Feeling out of control
  • Excessive emotion & crying at small irritations
  • Permanently tired even after sleep – (another very common symptom of stress)
  • Decreased sex drive / libido

To stop the build up of unwanted chemicals, exercise is critical, but more than that by understanding the meanings we are giving to these situations and controlling our thoughts will have a significant impact on when these chemical are released.

100 people will have 100 different reactions to the same situation, so it’s not the situation that is causing the problem it’s the meanings we give them.

Our meanings are created from our experience of our world so far, if you can change the meanings that you create you will change your reaction to potentially stressful events.

Left untreated stress can have significant impact on physical health and can lead to depression and anxiety.

  • If you would like help with Stress please get in contact today.