Stop My Divorce and Save My Marriage

Four couples have entered my session this week with this specific message is it possible to stop my divorce and save my marriage . I get all sorts of relationship challenges everything from trust issues, to lack of passion, from depression to how to get my partner back.

The challenges are wide and varied however…

…What I never cease to find amazing is how fast couples can change once they are given the truth about what has been happening in their relationship and given the tools that help them to feel successful with each other.

Society teaches nothing about this truth and how to understand ourselves or our relationships. This lack of understanding creates fear and from that fear destruction happens.

All four couples decided not to divorce after the first session

The reason I was able to help these couples so fast was because I helped them to understand their relationship differently and empower them both at the same time.

So the focus in the session is NOT about going over all the problems, all this will create is more problems.

The focus has to be to understand what is the biggest problem the couple faces and what change will make the biggest impact on them.

The biggest problem is usually: The trust has gone!

This is where I start. The couple learn at their usual cross road of destruction and growth what actions they can both take to look after the relationship and take the growth road and not the destruction road.

Then I help the couple to understand how they are both responsible without knowing in hurting the relationship.

Men and women are very different and their approach to each other can be confusing. One of the most frustrating places to be in a relationship is when your partners doesn’t understand you and you then feel alone and unloved.

Nine times out of ten your partner is not out to hurt you they are just fearful.

I become the translator

I help the couple bridge the gap, I become the translator if you like. You see we feel because we all speak English we should understand each other. BUT when men and women speak it’s like you’re speaking Greek and Japanese.

What we are really after is a real understand of each others worlds, how we work and why we do what we do. This empowers the couple to know how to be successful with each other.

So initially we are all working towards building trust, creating a heartfelt understanding and confidence that when things go wrong both people know what to do to support the other.

What this does is help the couple to work towards removing their fears.

When this happens we can then work on building an understanding of how to meet each others needs, minus their fears.

All of this is helping the couple to feel more secure, about each other and their future together.

This is just the start

During these two hour sessions I have help these couples how to deal with conflict and understand how to deal with depression and anger problems.

My job is to get the couple out of feeling stuck and hopeless to confidence, love and passion.

After the first session which creates the initial shift and hope the couple all then work with me to understand what next will be their solution. All couples are unique so the solutions are bespoke to that couple.

So are you wanting to stop your divorce? Do you want to save your marriage?

If so call me today 0845 519 4808

A divorce may be the wrong solution for you both.

How To Save My Marriage

If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship and you want to know the steps to saving your marriage then this is a good first step towards a solution for you. This is a fundamental step and foundational to the success of any relationship.

If your marriage has been in decline then you partner has been attaching feelings to you which result in them feeling bad about themselves when they are around you. If this carries on for too long their logical solution will be to remove you or themselves.

BTW: They don’t choose to do this, it is automatic at a behaviour level.

The good news is the process of attaching “good feelings” to you is automatic for them too.

So if you take steps to help your partner feel good then over time those great feelings will start to feel solid and they will then attach more and more great feelings back to you.

But my partner has been horrible why should I reward it this way?

This is a common response to my advice above. If your partner has been behaving poorly then it’s likely to be a cry for help rather than a desire to hurt you. Men and women can shut down when they feel that their relationship is impossible to fix. Couples can test each other with destructive words. What is considered to be hurtful behaviour can actually be a desire to wake their partner up to listen to the pain they feel.

The challenge is that men and women communicate totally differently. Which on it’s own is a big topic so know this if you are judging your partners behaviour, know quickly, you are not qualified.

Many people feel qualified to judge their partners and through that judgement they decide their partner has done wrong. They are now likely to punish them in some way.

Punishment does not create more love, all it does is help your partner automatically attach bad feelings to you. So if you punish you start to kill your own relationship. Some people feel they have been punished for years and without warning just leave the relationship to the shock and horror of their partner.

How to grow your marriage…

If your relationship is dying and you want to keep it, work out what great feelings you want your partner to feel and them help them feel that way.

If you want an amazing relationship then you have to become amazing and be the example, after all your partner may just be lost and fearful. Plus there are no relationship schools so a lack of education may not be your partners fault and they might be doing their best with what they know, i.e. what their parents taught them and the chances of their parents being lost with relationships too, are very high.