Selection of Testimonials

To help others feel inspired to get results some of my clients have been kind enough to provide detailed information on their experience of what it’s like to work with me.

I hope their stories will inspire you to know massive changes are possible…

To your success

Stephen Hedger


  • My wife told me that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me
  • Break-up: Coaching – I lived with a narcissist for 14 years
  • Relationship Coaching – Husband had moved out
  • Coaching after an affair – Struggles to accept affair
  • Dating Coaching – Years of being alone ended in happiness
  • Relationship coaching – Igniting passion
  • Reuniting families
  • Crisis Coaching – Couple on brink of divorce
  • Pre-Marital Coaching
  • Life coaching – journey of self-discovery
  • Coaching for Chronic Fatigue (ME) & Marriage problems
  • Coaching to overcome fears
  • Infidelity puts marriage in crisis
  • Please save our marriage
  • Coaching through Emotional trauma
  • More…
  • Which version of “YOU” is running your relationship?

    Have you noticed that you have to change your behaviours as life conditions change. For example you are different at work than you are with friends and family, or you are different with children than you are with you partner.

    All day and every day you are shifting into different versions of yourself without thinking. We all do this and with little thought to what it really means. The meanings are important for your future…

    You have been doing this since childhood and so whatever life condition you were presented with as a child, this sets a template for how you will deal with certain life situations as they present themselves..

    For Example: A child that has been “abused” in some way might have a desire to “escape”. Whenever life becomes difficult for them in the future they will run that pattern.

    How they run the pattern is to shift into a fearful version of themselves, just like we all do all day every day with other versions of ourselves without thinking. In this fear version of themselves they will run the “escape” pattern and so they could run away, or become introverted or shut down.

    To them this is totally normal, but to others and especially in relationships when the relationship presents them with problems, they are likely to run their learnt pattern.

    The problem is this learnt pattern was created by a child to cope with their perception of the world and how life should be. As adults without knowing we run these patterns automatically, but due to the immaturity of the creator of the pattern these patterns never work as adults.

    It’s like having a child running your life when life conditions get tough. Of course the result of the pattern is nearly always destructive. It can wreck lives, families and be passed as a pattern through generations.

    Fear pattern can manifest themselves in many ways, you may become angry and become loud to cope. You may turn to people pleasing that disrespects you, some turn to substances.

    Whatever coping mechanism you use, when you or your partner go into fear, you can be sure it was learnt, it and it will feel as natural as breathing.

    Is your partner destroying your relationship, they used to be wonderful, but today something has changed? Are you noticing that you have change and behave in ways that confuse you.

    Maybe you are having affairs and don’t understand why.

    These all create behaviours that can create depression and breakdowns as we start to reject ourselves not knowing that it is only one part of ourselves that has created the problem yet we reject every part even the wonderful parts of us leading us into despair.

    Many couples divorce because of these patterns as both people go into fear states when they feel that something is wrong, or they can’t see a future together. This perspective is an illusion based on the parrten and is why those that do split or divorce then live to regret it. It is why so many second marriages end in divorce fast as the pattern is now on read alert from the first failed marriage.

    • Most of the time the relationship is not the problem the pattern is the culprit.

    I run self discovery sessions for individuals and couples to understand what is really going on and how to cope with it. For more information please click here.

    How To Make A Relationship Work

    Millions of people globally are searching for information every month that can help them understand the answer to the question – How to make a relationship work?

    Experts across the global can agree on one thing, and that is you have to get to know you first, and understand what you need to be happy so you can communicate those specific needs to your partner.

    After all your partner is not a mind reader.

    Getting to know the real you sounds great, but how do you really get to know you. What or who can really help us understand who we really are and what we really need?

    Some people believe going travelling will work, some go to self-help seminars, some spend time alone, some have many partners. There are many strategies, but do any of them really work?

    The answer is yes and no, because you can get to know one version of you, the version of you that always knows what to do when the pressure is off, but what about the version of you that crumbles when life gets tough.

    You see there is not just one version of YOU! In fact there are 20+ different versions of you that live by very different rules. These different versions will create different futures for you, some not as good as others some amazing and some really destructive.

    Getting to know them all and understanding the versions and their purpose is your real BIG goal that will help you understand why you do what you do and help you understand when you are being destructive.

    The version of you that causes real problems is going to be a fearful version of you, a version that will distort the world and limit you whilst giving you the illusion of balancing your life to feel normal.

    This is the version that lets you down when you need it most. Just imagine knowing which version of you that will always create great futures and discovering by choice how to be that person.

    • Do you want to discover the real you? If so I run self discovery sessions it takes about 2 hours per person. If you are interested please let me know. Click here

    Is Your Past Affecting Your Relationship Today?

    Past relationship problems can have a profound affect on your relationship today, so much so they can change your future and the partners you choose.

    • A simple example we can all spot: A victim of an affair could develop a problem with trusting future partners. These kind of past issues are easy to spot and with the right help can be changed.

    What about past experiences we are not aware of..?

    The real struggle happens is when complex past experiences have an effect on your relationships today. For example if a woman today is very masculine in her approach to relationships and her life. What kind of man do you think she would attract.

    What kind of relationship would she have and how would this dynamic in her affect her children?

    This is an example of the past affecting her future that’s powerful enough for her to change her personality from female to male dominated, but how does this happen?

    She made a decision…

    At some point in her life she made a decision to become more masculine subconsciously, she may have decided to do this because she was under threat, or she needed to get strong, but some life event created that version of her, she was not born with it.

    When she made a decision to live her life in this way, what she did was to shut down many others parts of her true self, because if she allowed these feminine parts out she maybe under threat again.

    The world has moved on, but she is stuck

    The problem she now faces is her life circumstances have changed since she made that decision, and she no longer needs to protect herself in the same way. Her protection pattern is outdated and no longer needed, but she runs it as if she is still under threat.

    Living in this version of herself  could create signs of unhappiness or depression with her because her true values are not being met buy this distorted version of her.

    Is there an outdated version of you running your life? Do you live in fear? Are you exhausted?

    • One of the session I run is called a Journey of Self-Discovery and it is designed to uncover these choices we may have set-up without knowing.
      It is designed to align you with your true-self so your decisions are no longer made from a perspective of fear, but from the clear knowledge that your choice will create a future of happiness.

    If you are interested please let me know… Contact me