Part one: How to save a marriage from divorce

If you are interested to understand how to help a couple from a destructive relationship and into one that works for both people then this is for you.

Step one: Save Your Marriage From Divorce

The first step is helping both people in the marriage take steps to reclaim their true identity.   Couples with problems lose confidence in themselves and each other because they are not living true to who they really are.

As problems escalate, this loss of identity is debilitating and will create confusion and fear in themselves and in their partner. [Read more...]

I feel detached from my partner, what is happening to me?

Detachment is the process of self protection. The person may feel that over months or years they have not been happy in their relationship. They may feel that their partner does not care about them, is not interested in them, or simply doesn’t love them.

The persons feelings towards their partner will have changed and the relationship can feel wrong to continue. Reconnection for this person can feel impossible and the desire to fix the relationship problems are usually very low.

The person in this situation will have a vision that the past will be a reflection of the future, so it’s painful for them to even consider, all this is normal. [Read more...]

Are you and your partner team?

When two people decide to give the best years of their life to each other it’s a wonderful commitment.

They have chosen to go on a journey through life with each other, they have chosen to become a team, some couples choose to become leaders of a bigger team as children become part of their plan.

So to build a successful team we need clear goals and we need to know the strengths and weaknesses of the team members so the journey to the chosen goals becomes easier.

Any business leader knows this is critical if they are to gain the outcomes they are after. [Read more...]

Do you have a marriage you’re proud of?

As your children grow they are learning how life should be from your example. You are showing them through your actions what is normal. You are giving them their first blueprint of what an intimate relationship is like with another human.

So when you think about the relationship you are having with your partner, are you proud of what you are presenting to your children? Are you happy that they may adopt your relationship as their model for success?

If you don’t have children, would you be happy to present your relationship as the model for others to follow? [Read more...]

How To Save Your Marriage Alone!

If you want your marriage to work and your partner won’t seek help what do you do? This post is about how to save your marriage alone.

How you can make a difference in your relationship even if your partner doesn’t want to try?

The starting point is this: You have to know it is possible to save your marriage on your own, but you’re going to have to make some changes in the way you listen, understand your partner and how you behave. [Read more...]

How And Why It Works?

With a consistently high success rate for the couples I work with, why is what I do so successful for couples in, or heading for crisis?

In short I help them discover how to become a team together. Below is the three key steps steps that move my clients very quickly from destruction to love. Before I take you through those steps, I will share the end of just one of the many letters I get from my clients…

A recent client wrote to me who had multiple challenges marital and personal. They had sought help from a few professionals, but nothing had changed.

This is the end of her email to me after we worked together for just 7 weeks. [Read more...]

How To Understand The Opposite Sex

No matter what we do in life, what career we have how much money we earn, unless we have fulfillment in our personal relationships, life can feel very wrong.

It’s knowing that true fulfillment sits in our ability to have a successful personal relationship is what makes such a difference to my clients happiness.

Many people think that money will give them all they need, or adulation from their professional audiences is their key to happiness. [Read more...]

Free Marriage in Crisis Guide

If you are having marriage problems or you know of anyone with marriage problems this short guide is designed to help couples with problems understand what’s happening and where to focus their energy.

Many people in crisis believe there is no hope. As I develop my marriage programs each year they are becoming more and more affective in helping couples understand their relationship can survive. [Read more...]

Marriage Tip Two: Are You Enough For Your Partner?

If a person has a life without a planned direction or purpose then what should that person should expect from their life?

What would happen to the couple without direction or life purpose, they get married and don’t plan their journey through life? What should they expect from their life together?

The secret to success in this world is simple, you have to work out where you can add value and plan to add lots of value to whatever is important to you. [Read more...]

Life Secrets: Relationships, Money, Health

If you knew there were simple steps to becoming successful in the areas of life that are important to you wouldn’t you want to know what those steps were?

Within every person that comes for help I am looking for ways in which I can help them discover their strengths. Powerful parts of themselves they have hidden without knowing.

I believe there is a key to everyones inner strength something that will create the desire within them to take action and to claim the life that will equal fulfillment for them.

We all have strengths and yet months or years of battling with life, careers, relationships, children and even ourselves can wear us down.   [Read more...]

How To Save My Marriage – Step-By-Step Advice by Stephen Hedger

When trying to save any marriage knowing where to put your energy is very important. So many couples who have lost their intimacy focus on that part of their relationship and try to fix that with disastrous consequences for their relationship.

In many cases the intimacy is not the core issue it’s a symptom of the couples real problem.

The couple may have lost trust in each other, or in their future together. If trust goes then the desire to meet each others needs also goes away.

So if the couple lose those two key element then intimacy will suffer. [Read more...]

The Answer to Your Life Puzzle

Yesterday I wrote about how the meanings we give to situations shape our lives today. So to expand on that we are going to look at the foundation that creates those meanings.

Our focus of thought is the foundation of our life experiences. Without a conscious direction of thought most people minds automatically focus on their fears, or what’s wrong.

The mind is designed for automatic processing of thought so we can quickly understand if we are safe or not. The problems come when we use this automatic thought to design our lives…

If our focus is the foundation of our meaning then most people will live in fear. This fear is brought to life and maginfied by the person as they feel more and more out of control of their life. [Read more...]

The Foundations For A Successful Relationship

Fulfilling relationships are born from the knowledge of what has to happen for you to create your journey of success together. If that knowledge then forms your focus and your actions it will then become a part of who you are.

Your relationship then has a chance of growth through contribution of what really works.

The two individuals in the relationship are the foundations that support the relationship and so if the foundations are weak then the relationship either will suffer or cannot survive. [Read more...]

Simple Steps To Save Your Relationship Or Marriage Step-By-Step Guidance

If your relationship is in trouble and you have tried everything to fix it yourself and nothing is working then these are the simple steps that will have a massive impact on your relationship and are the steps I use when working with couples in crisis.

Step 1 – Get leverage

I help people understand the true cost of not fixing their relationship problems. When people decide to split-up they don’t think about the true cost both emotionally and financially. The cost is always much bigger than they thought, it’s far more expensive, the emotional fall out goes on for years and massively effects their future relationships, plus their children are affected for life sometimes hating their parents. [Read more...]

Will My Relationship Pass The Test Of Time?

What are the top three critical things a couple can focus on that will make 80% of the difference to the success of their relationship? Are you aware of what’s critical to make your relationship work? Many couples don’t know and so they can find themselves stuck, unhappy, lonely in their relationships.

So as you scan the points below what do you think you have missed or not understood fully? [Read more...]

The pillars for relationship success

I’m sure you will agree that if the foundations of the relationship are not strong then the relationship is going to suffer.

So what are the foundations?

  • The individuals in the relationship have to understand what it takes to make themselves happy.
  • They have to understand what needs are important to them so they can communicate those needs to their partner.
  • They have to understand how their partner is different to them and learn about their needs.
  • They have to learn how to have conflict and grow from it, most people have conflict and die each time they argue. [Read more...]

We all want passionate lasting relationships so why do so many couples struggle?

I want to say that I really do feel for all couples that are struggling to make their relationship work, it is one of the hardest places to be. I know because I too was once in this place, lost, frustrated, angry why could I not make them work for me?

Because I know personally the pain that couples go through from my own experiences my biggest pleasure today is helping couples understand their truth. Some couple should not be together, but many are struggling not because they are wrong for each other, but because they are missing some key information.

What if just a few things make 80% of the difference for couples. What if all couples could quickly learn those critical steps they could take?

Most couples put so much effort into dating each other and have no idea what works and what doesn’t so they stop doing what works without knowing.

Over the years they practice doing what will ultimately kill their relationship, but they don’t mean to, they don’t know they are doing it.

Couples can assume the wrong things about each other for years.

If couples were really aware of the massive differences between male and female their perspective on their relationship and how they respond to each other would change in an instant.

But of course the differences between the sexes is just a part of the mix for success.

  • Growing from conflict
  • Planning a life together
  • Building lasting trust
  • Meeting each other core needs

All this combined with undoing the myths that society hypnotise us all with, plus one key the key to creating a relationship where you can be truly you.

That key is to understand you and what equals happiness for you. How do you create fulfilment for yourself?

If you knew the key to your relationship with yourself then helping others become successful with you would be so much easier.

These are some of the simple steps that couples can take with me to discover their truth with me.

Your relationship is valuable if what you have done so far has not worked please don’t assume it will sort it’s self out with time. Something has to change and the assumption the relationship is wrong could be the wrong one.

Award Winning Psychologist Joining The Team In Harley Street

I will soon be releasing news of a new addition to my practice in Harley Street.

As a compliment to my life and relationship coaching/mentoring services this highly experienced Psychologist will be offering her services and wealth of experience to all my clients existing and new.

If you are interested to learn more, an official release will be out soon.

To your success.

Kind regards

Stephen Hedger

Could This Be Happening To You?

From time to time we can all have doubts that knock our confidence and this is normal. Sometimes our confidence can become so knocked that rebuilding our strength in our ability to create a wonderful future can feel almost impossible. Impossible to the point we feel stuck, paralysed in a life that can just feel wrong.

I want to share a true story of how someone can create an unwinnable life that keeps them paralyzed. So stuck they came to me for help…

This may not reflect what is specifically happening to you. What is important is you know if you are feeling challenged by life there are answers for you.

This lady was totally unaware of what was happening for her, but what she did know was her behaviours were destroying her life. [Read more...]

Real Peoples Answers: Can You Spot The Problems?

The following questions and answers point towards something important see if you can guess what it is…

  • Why won’t you give love to your partner? Because I don’t get it back!
  • Why are you dating? I want to find a man to help me with my children!
  • Why do you think you are in love with him? Because of all the things he does for me!
  • What drove you to have an affair? She gives so much and makes me feel important unlike my wife!
  • Why is a relationship important to you? I don’t want to be alone.

Did you spot the common thread with each person?

Each person was focused on themselves and what they are getting. When things go wrong their focus is likely to be focused on what they are not getting.

  • If you are focused on what a relationship can give you, the chance of it failing are dramatically increased.

  • If you are focus on what you can give to a relationship now we have a real chance of success on many levels.

You see ironically the more you give to your relationship the more you’ll get back. Of course you have to give what your partner really wants. No point giving what you think they want you could prove you don’t understand them.

In my experience if you give consistently through understanding you’ll get back 10 times what you put in.

So the model is simple, never give to get, give because you are a giving person!

The irony is the giving person always ends up with far more than the selfish one.