Worried About Your Relationship?

Do you have a relationship you want to keep? Are you stuck not sure what to do? Do you feel that no matter what you do it seems to keep failing?

If this is you then understanding the steps to getting the relationship back on track are critical.

If any relationship has suffered problems the challenge the couple now face is A LACK OF TRUST! Trust that the relationship will not be the way they need it to be, for them to be happy.

Rebuilding the trust is the first step in my sessions with couples.

To be successful your thoughts have to go to the points of conflict where the couple have failed with each other and ignited fears for the future.

  • The question is this… At the point of conflict what does my partner really need?

Usually in conflict situations and even the ones she has started, what the female needs is to be loved and understood, what the male needs is the ability to fix her problem. If he doesn’t know how to deal with the conflict he might become really angry, through frustration, or he might shut-down or escape in some way hoping the problem will just go away.

None of this works and just adds more fuel to the fire.

All of these behaviours are the reverse of what’s needed and bit-by-bit the relationship dies. She can feel that he has no desire to understand her, and he can feel she can never be pleased.

None of this is true of course, but without relationship training the couple react the only way they know how. Fight and protect themselves.

Understanding this process is one of the keys to my success with couples.

If the male can meet his needs in the process of meeting the females’ specific needs at the point of conflict then he can feel successful again in the relationship and she will feel loved and heard.

Both people following this process will start to feel connected again with themselves and each other.

Once the trust has been rebuilt, only then can the couple can work on meeting each others needs.

  • If you wish to know more about how to do this please make contact today click here

How to Be Rich!

As a coach I am interested in all areas of improvement from heath to wealth. What I find is how the methods used to help people become financially free and healthier are the same foundational principles that I use to help people create better relationships.

So in principal if you understand one then the foundations are in place to understand them all.

What are the barriers to success

So what are the key areas that will block people from creating wealth and fitness that are totally in line with why couples are blocked from creating successful relationships.

1. Fear

2. Cynicism

3. Laziness

4. Bad Habits

5. Arrogance


1. Fear

Anyone that is experiencing relationship problems is going to be in fear that the future will not be the way they want it to be. This fear creates poor states that disable the person from acting in a way that creates growth for themselves and the relationship. In this place the person can feel disconnected and dislike who they are becoming.

2. Cynicism

Couples can become cynical about their relationship because they feel that over the years they have collected enough proof the relationship is wrong. Of course with two people in fear, feeling disconnected with who they really are, the couple start to feel the relationship has changed from when they first met and they are no longer compatible.

3. Laziness

People become lazy because they can’t see a way forward. They lose motivation when they don’t get the results they want fast. Instead of looking for new answers they keep repeating the old ones, hoping that a new change in their partner will happen. This never works so they stop putting effort in and they become lazy.

4. Bad Habits

Habits get learnt through a persons life and if they are taught how to create relationship by those that are equally lost (their parents), then the foundations are too weak to hold a relationship together. They become their bad habits without knowing and bit by bit they destroy the relationship in their quest to save it.

5. Arrogance

What then happens is the person with years of distorted perceptions of themselves and their relationship think they understand their problems. In reality they are a million miles away from their truth. So they blame everyone else for their problems and think they know best. Most won’t seek help and even if they do they are just going through the motions. What they usually want is for me to change their partner because it’s their fault.

So if you want to be rich in all that life has to offer then overcoming all the above has to be the focus. You see it is easy to find everything that wrong in a relationship and end it anyone can do that, it’s not until a person has had many failed relationships that they start to ask themselves where does the real problem sit.

Many of course chose through fear to not ask this question decide to forget relationships altogether and live life alone. For them it is better to be alone and right, at least that way they are safe.

Of course they are not safe because inside them sits the proof that really they were never enough and they are not loved.

So what is the truth for you? Is now the time to understand and set yourself free?


Why is it this way?

I remember listening to Jim Rohn one of the mentors I have used on my journey to discover the world and how it really works.

He was a very successful business man who had been lucky enough to have a mentor who knew how to make millions. He taught Mr Rohn his secrets for success and Mr Rohn went from broke to $millions in just 6 years. The public obviously wanted to know the secrets, what information did he receive? How did he make so much money so fast.

So over the years he ran seminars all over the world. People in their thousands came to listen to his stories. Jim knew one thing that always amazing him. Even though the people in the audience knew that he had the secrets to wealth which could transform their lives very few actually took his advice.

He recommended to those audience the books that people should read that he was advised to read. He estimated that only a small percentage would actually go out and buy those books.

He was right only a few did… much to his amazement.

So why is it this way?

Why do people follow experts and then decide not to follow the path they are shown.

The reason I ask this today is I see this with the readers of my blog and those that come to sessions. A few months back a couple came to one of my sessions and they quickly learnt what had gone wrong and why.

They discovered how to fix the problem is the first session and for the first week they had an amazing time together. They came for a second session excited at what they had learnt before and were ready for the next stage.

Three days after the second session they called me, both of them distressed it had all gone wrong and both were talking about divorce again.

When I asked what had happened we discovered that they had both stopped doing what was working in the first week and had gone back to their old ways.

You see, even when they saw the proof for themselves, it’s like they became blind.

If you have been following this blog for a while and you still have problems ask yourself why? Are you going to take action, are you going to discover your truth, if so when?

Remember doing nothing is a choice too.



How To Save My Marriage

If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship and you want to know the steps to saving your marriage then this is a good first step towards a solution for you. This is a fundamental step and foundational to the success of any relationship.

If your marriage has been in decline then you partner has been attaching feelings to you which result in them feeling bad about themselves when they are around you. If this carries on for too long their logical solution will be to remove you or themselves.

BTW: They don’t choose to do this, it is automatic at a behaviour level.

The good news is the process of attaching “good feelings” to you is automatic for them too.

So if you take steps to help your partner feel good then over time those great feelings will start to feel solid and they will then attach more and more great feelings back to you.

But my partner has been horrible why should I reward it this way?

This is a common response to my advice above. If your partner has been behaving poorly then it’s likely to be a cry for help rather than a desire to hurt you. Men and women can shut down when they feel that their relationship is impossible to fix. Couples can test each other with destructive words. What is considered to be hurtful behaviour can actually be a desire to wake their partner up to listen to the pain they feel.

The challenge is that men and women communicate totally differently. Which on it’s own is a big topic so know this if you are judging your partners behaviour, know quickly, you are not qualified.

Many people feel qualified to judge their partners and through that judgement they decide their partner has done wrong. They are now likely to punish them in some way.

Punishment does not create more love, all it does is help your partner automatically attach bad feelings to you. So if you punish you start to kill your own relationship. Some people feel they have been punished for years and without warning just leave the relationship to the shock and horror of their partner.

How to grow your marriage…

If your relationship is dying and you want to keep it, work out what great feelings you want your partner to feel and them help them feel that way.

If you want an amazing relationship then you have to become amazing and be the example, after all your partner may just be lost and fearful. Plus there are no relationship schools so a lack of education may not be your partners fault and they might be doing their best with what they know, i.e. what their parents taught them and the chances of their parents being lost with relationships too, are very high.

“We went to Stephen for pre-marital coaching…”

Vic & Ali a wonderful couple full of love for each other, they could see an amazing future ahead of them. Their eyes were also wide open to the ups and downs married life could bring and so they came to me with a clear goal. They wanted to know how to effectively deal with the unexpected challenges they knew life would throw at them.

They were already aware that they needed help, dealing with existing external factors that had the potential to negatively affect their relationship and marriage together.

The Pre-Marital work I do for all couples is bespoke to their specific situation. We covered not only how to plan for the future they wanted, but also covered their own personal histories and specific individual needs so we could understand what could cause potential problems in the future.

The goal was to create relationship that not just lasted, but lasted with passion, no matter what challenges crossed their path…

On their wedding website they wrote:

Some people see a priest before their wedding day- instead we prepared for a long and happy marriage with help from Stephen Hedger.

In their own words…

“We went to Stephen for pre-marital coaching…”

The instigating factor were family challenges that we knew might have a negative impact on our relationship if we didn’t learn how to deal with them effectively.

We learned how to better manage that situation and were able to get married confident in our skills to deal with the inevitable issues life throws your way.  But we also got so much more than that.  We learned all about our values, the different versions of ourselves that present themselves in a variety of situations, we learned how to really listen to each other, and create a joint vision of what we want our married life to be all about.

We learned how to jointly decide what to do when several options present themselves and so much more. Stephen’s approach is warm and humorous whilst challenging you to be your best self.

I  highly recommend working with Stephen for pre-marital coaching to any couple who are serious about not becoming one of the 1/4 who later divorce.  It won’t protect you from the challenges of life but will arm you with powerful tools, ways of thinking and behaviours that will help you navigate your way through life together.

Vic and Ali Godding – Married on Friday 22nd July 2011

Sharing this journey with Vic & Ali has been a real pleasure.

It is always so refreshing to be able to help couples at the start of their lives together, to help them learn how to really understand themselves and then how to understand and contribute to each others wants, needs and desires.

They discovered how to create a heartfelt understanding that lead them to a solid foundation for trust, respect and certainty for the future. They are now aligned to live consciously together without the fear of not coping when times get tough.

I want to personally wish them every success and happiness, they are truly amazing people that deserve the very best!

MP3 Hypnosis Downloads For Home Use

If you have ever considered hypnosis and wondered what it is like? Would you like to try it in the privacy of your own home? This could be a great introduction and very low cost way to explore what it can do for you. This company is highly professional and has created a vast selection of MP3 Hypnosis downloads below designed to help you with many common problems. As you know I rarely promote others on this site, but this is a company I am delighted to share with you my valued reader.

Please feel free to check out the links below and explore what could make a difference in your life today. To your success, Stephen Hedger

MP3 Hypnotism sessions
Addiction Help
Beat Cannabis Dependence
Overcome Chocolate Addiction
Drink Less Coffee
Stop Using Smokeless Tobacco
Moderate Drinking
Diminish Alcohol Abuse
Shopaholic?
Prevent Alcohol Relapse
Stop Drinking Symptoms
Beat Gambling
Obsessive Thinking
Addiction to Porn?
Compulsive Masturbating
Stop Obsessive Cleaning
Stop Obsessive Checking
Internet Addiction
Kleptomania
Gaming Addiction
No More Adrenaline!
Overcome Hoarding Syndrome
Heroin Addiction Treatment
Anti Aging
Facelift - No Surgery
Age with Zest
Live Longer
Cope with Hair Loss
Fear of Aging
Bad Habits
Healthy Lips
No More Sucking
Stop Picking Your Nose
How to Stop Scratching
Stop Nail Biting
Compulsive Hair Pulling
Healthy Skin
Eyelash Pulling
Control Wine Drinking
Think About What You Buy
Bad Habits
Cancer Treatment
Clinical Hypnotherapy
Troubled Childhood
Stuttering Therapy
Wake to a Dry Bed
Repeating Nightmare
Hyper-Sensitivity to Noise
Body Dysmorphia Complex
Gag Reflex
Manage Hyperactivity
Stop Harming Yourself
Disfigured?
Escape the Cult
Communication Skills
Assertiveness Training
Saying No
Conversation Starter
Stop Cursing
Filling Nervous Silences
Over-Defensive?
Assert Yourself
Stop Apologizing
Stop Gossiping
Speak Out!
Stop Arguing
Talk with Tact
Stop Complaining
Handling the Critic
Be Funnier
Say What you Think
Meeting People Made Easy
Active Listening
Can't Stop Lying?
Depression Treatment
Coming Off Depression Drugs
Depressed Husband
Depressed Wife
Depression
Difficult People
Critics
Angry Bullies
The Gossip
Relationship Control Freaks
Defend against Guilt
Dealing with the Moody Type
Drawing out Shy People
Know It Alls
Repel Verbal Attacks
Emotional Intelligence
Forgive
Don't be Embarrassed
Impulse Control
Increase Happiness
Get Over Old Issues
Envy
Emotional Stability
Be Less Irritable
Let Frustration Go
Forgive Yourself
Birthday Depression
Increase Emotional Intelligence
Greed
Express Your Feelings
Anger Management
Dealing with Guilt
Overcome Jealousy
Reduce Road Rage
Improve Your Mood
Enjoy Life
No Regrets
Seize The Day
Life and Soul
Experiment A Little!
Your Life's Meaning
Discover Your Passion
Saying Yes
Travel the World
Live In The Moment
Add More Fun
Fears and Phobias
Stage Nerves
Eat Out Comfortably
Performance Anxiety Musicians
Agoraphobia
Fear of Failure
Stop Panic Attacks
Fear of Flying
Fear of Elevators
Unfamiliar Surroundings
Fear of Dentists
Overcome Fear & Anxiety
Fear of Heights
Driving Test
Exam Nerves
Cure Bird Phobia
Overcome Fear of Hospitals
Cure Fear of Needles
Cure Spider Phobia
Fear of Driving
Fear of Success
Cure Snake Phobia
Driving over Bridges
Water Phobia
Afraid of the Dark
Enclosed Spaces
Wedding Anxiety
Can't Perform?
Death Phobia
Overcoming Claustrophobia
Relax with Dogs
Emetophobia
Fear of Others Vomit
Fear of the Phone
Relax with a Changing Life
Fear of Going Crazy
Heart Panic
Fear of General Anesthesia
Overcome Fear of Technology
Anxious in Crowds?
MD Anxiety
Terrorist Phobia
Cancerophobia
Fear of Violence
No Money Fear?
Fear of Having Photographs Taken
Scared Passenger?
Fun With Hypnosis
Hypno-Ski
Ocean Ride
Magic Carpet
Ride in a Space Ship
Learn Human History
Fly to Cloud Nine
Good Memories
Treasure Hunt Hypnosis
Grief Loss
Lost Contact
Leaving Home
Putting Parent in Nursing Home
Child Loss Grief
Overcome Pet Death Grief
Death of a Parent
Relax at Funerals
Health Issues
Healing Power
Get Rid of Migraines
Tension Headaches
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Get Rid of Warts
Stop Grinding your Teeth
Hangover Cure
Lower Blood Pressure
PMS
Great Posture
Treat Tinnitus
Improve Circulation
Excessive Sweating
Fear of Surgery
Natural Healing
Change of Life
Cure Hayfever
Facial Tics
Skin Condition
Chronic Fatigue
Breathe Easier
Terminall Ill Care
Jet Lag
MRI Scan Nerves
Travel Sickness
Managing Diabetes
Cure Reynauds Disease
Relieving Constipation
Ease Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms
Stop Squeezing Spots
Stop Essential Tremor
Increase Infection Resistance
Psoriasis Soother
Remember Your Pills
Stop Cracking Your Knuckles
Hives Treatment
Care For Yourself
Chronically Ill
Teeth Clean Habit
Muscle Spasm Treatment
Endometriosis Natural Treatment
Natural Herpes Treatment
Having To Be Near a Bathroom
Overcoming Hypochondria
Paruresis
Restless Legs Relief
Healthy Eating
Gain Weight
8 Glasses a Day
Stop Drinking Soda
Reduce Salt
Eat Smaller Meals
Overcome Anorexia
Enjoy Eating Fruit and Veg
Bulimia
Hypnosis Packs
Spend Less
Hypnotherapists
Dental Anaesthesia
Hand Numbness
Your Hand Lifts!
Arm Catalepsy
Confident Hypnotherapist
Increase Hypnosis Skills
Dealing with Resistance
Writing without Thinking
Alter Time
Learn About Hypnosis Induction
Interpersonal Skills
Stay Calm with THAT Person
Your Needs First
Stop Judging By Appearances
Criticizers
Don't Take it Personally
No Grudges
How to Accept Compliments
Quick Rapport
Negative People
Look Happier
Stay in Contact
Approaching Women
Be Popular
Speed Dating - Men
Speed Dating - Women
Socially Integrated
Bad First Impression
Make More Contacts
Importance of Eye Contact
Increase Charisma
Tricky Relatives
Woo your Partner
Saying Sorry
I'm OK, You're OK
Be a Better Friend
Setting Boundaries
Fear of Confrontation
Calm with Authority
Job Skills
Stop Crying at Work
Interview Anxiety
Public Speaking Confidence
Making Decisions
How to Ask for a Raise
Meeting Nerves?
Bad Boss?
Call with Confidence
Time Management
Starting New Job
Lead from the Front
Don't Be Late
Quicker on the Keyboard
Return to Work
Complete Your Goals
Persuader
Team Player
Work Those Papers!
Which Career?
Remember the Details
Sell More
Job Searching Optimism
Meeting Deadlines
Losing Your Job
Addicted to Work?
Being Bullied?
Learning Help
Speaking Foreign Languages
Exam Preparation
Improve Learning
Learn an Instrument
Recall Names
Back to School
Retain Read Information
Read and Retain
Spell Well
Focus in Class
Motivation Inspiration
Self Motivation Booster
Achieve Your Potential
Motivation At Work
Promoting Yourself
Drive to Succeed
Business Promotion Motivation
Expect The Best
Be An Entrepreneur
Big Ideas
Beat Failure
Energy Booster
Relief from Pain
Arthritis
Pain Management
Lessen Pain
Hip Pain
Relieve Knee Pain
Phantom Pain
Fibromyalgia Pain
Myofascial Pain
TMJ Pain Hypnosis
Neuropathic Pain Treatment
Parenting Skills
Worry Less About Your Children
Enjoy Motherhood
Lone Parent?
Patient Parent
New Dad
Not Your Parents
Assertive Parenting
Dealing with an Empty Nest
Parents - Feel Guilty?
Living with Teenagers
Over-Protective Parents
Your Family as a Team
Crying Baby
Self Improvement
Overcome Learned Helplessness
Personal Improvement
Clean the House Happily
Release Creativity
Increase Sympathy
Confident Retirement
Expand Your Comfort Zone
Dealing with Uncertainty
Single Person Household
Home Improvement Motivation
Develop Your Character
Introvert to Extrovert
Fear of Being Alone
Lighten Up
Always Losing Things?
Personal Finance
Rich Thinking
Money Saver
Trade Calmly
Charge What You're Worth
Relax About Cash
Affluenza
Personal Fitness
Exercise Motivation
Go to the Gym!
Get On Your Feet!
Personal Productivity
Get Out Your Own Way
Less Television
Stick to Your Guns
Beat Laziness
Get Moving!
Improving Concentration and Focus
Creativity Booster
Overcoming Procrastination
Organize!
Persevere!
Increase Self Discipline
Reach Your Goals
Keep on Track
Get Published
Obstacles Into Opportunity
Writing Songs
More Books
Write A Book
Just Do It!
Increase Your Productivity
Writing Unblocker
Personal Skills
Develop Optimism
What People Think
Perfectionistic?
Patience, Patience
Know Yourself
Stop Being Picky
Dress Well
Be Less Passive
Best Man Speech
Boost Willpower
Inner Power
More Manly
Be Luckier
Be More Intuitive
Increase Emotional Resilience
Improve Tolerance
The Gratitude Attitude
Personally Courageous
Keep Going!
Play More
Best in Others
Fewer Material Things
Be More Flexible
Improve Your Appearance
Positive Attitude
Be Responsible
Negotiation Training
Keeping Secrets and Promises
Cool Head
Pregnancy Childbirth
Reduce Morning Sickness Symptoms
Infertility
Enjoy Breastfeeding
Pregnant and Proud
After Losing a Baby
Connect with Baby
Depressed After Baby?
Quit Smoking
Quit Smoking - Stay Stopped
Relationships
Feel Attractive Now
Other Peoples' Fault?
Independence in Relationships
Insecurity in Relationships
Fear of Commitment
Spark Your Relationship
Get Over a Relationship
Unreturned Love
Get Over Divorce
Ending a Relationship
Love Others Happily
Hurt Before?
Newly Single?
Save Your Marriage
One Partner Only!
Abusive Relationships
Stop Choosing Mr Wrong
Survive Infidelity
Fear of Abandonment
Recover Your Trust
Adopted?
Stop Being Unfaithful
Siblings Fighting
Let Divorce Go
Approve Yourself
Friendship's End
You and Your Mum
Be More Emotionally Intimate
Love Your Partner's Faults
Enjoy Family Gatherings
Fear of Rejection
Relaxation
Breathing Technique
After Work Relaxation
A Healthy Rest
The Four Seasons
A Warm Place
The Island
Meditate and Relax
Quick Self Hypnosis
Crystal Ball
House of Deep Rest
Meditation Hypnosis
Massage
Tranquil Mind
Go Into Hypnosis
Power Nap
Beach Relaxation
Relax with the Trees
Meadow Relaxation
Vacation Mindset
Mountain Hike
Relax!
Personal Development
Building Self Confidence
Confidence Builder 2
Dealing with Peer Pressure
Learn with Confidence
Believe in Yourself
Enjoy Dancing
Teach with Confidence
Dating Confidence
Relax with Men you Like
Good-Looking Women
Flirt With Confidence
Self Esteem
Building Self Esteem
Overcome Insecurity
Cure Self Hate
How to Accept Yourself
Inferiority Complex
Stop Blaming Yourself
Stop Self Pity
You're Smarter Than That
Find Who Your Really Are
Relationship Self-Respect
Sexual Problems
Shy when Naked
Sexual Enhancement - Male
Sexual Enhancement - Female
Enhance Female Libido
Enhance Male Libido
Problems Ejaculating?
Losing Virginity
Anxiety about Sex
Stop Premature Ejaculation
Cure Impotence
Make Sex Easier - Women
Sex Compulsion
Sleep Problems
Snoring
Wake Up Quickly
Insomnia Cure
Stop Sleepwalking
Get to sleep
Drift off to Sleep
Dreaming of Sleep
Deep Sleep of Kids
Go Back to Sleep
Early to Bed
Talking in your Sleep
Social Anxiety
Be Yourself Socially
Overcoming Shyness
Cool Down Blushing
Self Conscious
Nervous Laughter
Uncomfortable Silences
Stop Nervous Coughing
Hot Flushes
Speaking in Groups
Be More Social
Social Phobia
Hypnosis for Sport
Mental Toughness
Fast off the Blocks
Golf - Playing Hazards
Tee Off with Confidence
Putting
Super Swing
Think like a Winner
Pre-Game Nerves
Tennis Serve
Heal Sports Injury
Martial Arts
Ten Pin Pro
Keep Running
Karate Timing
Perfect Freethrows
Run That Half Marathon
Taking Penalties
Get Focused
Archery In The Zone
Play Better Snooker
Stress Management
Awaiting Results Worry
Midlife Worries
Break down
Relieve Stress and Tension
Stress Management Training
Stress-Less
Beat Burnout
Life After Work
Declutter Yourself
Overcome Overwhelm
Carer Stress
Failed Your Exams?
Bankrupt? Bounce Back!
Reduce Time Pressure
Get Out That Trap!
Moving House Stress
Neighbor Problems
Working Mother Stress
Thinking Skills
Stop Negative Thoughts
Do you Worry a Lot?
Think More Positively
Think The Best
Stop Comparing Yourself
Stop Magical Thinking
Decide Now!
Dealing With Disappointment
Creative Thinking Strategy
Improve Objectivity
Overcome Rumination
Overcome Paranoia
Weight Loss
Perfect Your Body
Weight Loss - Eat Healthy
Eat Slow
Think Yourself Thin
Super Slim Me
Stop TV Eating
Emotional Eating
Boredom Eating
Stop Binge Eating
Sweet Tooth
Healthy Food
Stop Comfort Eating
No More Fast Food
Weight Loss Motivation
Stop Snacking
Keeping Weight Off
Low Carb Diet Mindset
Stop Night Eating

Confidence Coaching

Feeling out of control of your life is a terribly scary place to be. People can feel out of control in so many ways helping them to feel depressed, powerless, worthless they could feel unloved, depressed, anxious.

These feelings all can lead someone to feel unable to make decisions that make sence so they live in a place that helps them to feel stuck.

People can start to feel that whatever they choose they will feel unhappy and so feelings of hopelessness start to take over.

This can happen at work, in relationships, with family in fact in almost any life condition that is import to the person.

How can a person have confidence in their ability to make a decision, if they have a history of bad decisions. Or maybe they think they have done everything right, yet the result has always felt bad for them.

  • Living this way can really knock a persons confidence. [Read more...]

What Will Ruin Your Relationships & Empty Your Wallet?

These are the focuses of the mind that you need to make your enemy before they take control of you.

Indifference: This will put you on any path that comes along, from here you are out of control drifting though life, fingers crossed something will change. Of course things will change, you’ll be older and drifting.

Indecision: Will steal from you the opportunities that present themselves to you, it will even stop you looking for what you really need.

Doubt: Not everything is this world is going to be good for you, but if you let doubt become apart of you, where you doubt everything including yourself then trouble is going to be yours.

Worry: The process of worry is designed to tell you something has to change. If all you do is worry and take no action for growth then you become the the worry, at that point it’s really time to worry, because now you’re really stuck. [Read more...]

FREE 7 Master Skills Needed For A Lasting Passionate Relationship

Dear Valued Reader an important message…

From the desk of Stephen Hedger Relationship Coach

Over the next 15 days you will be receiving “FREE” The 7 Master skills needed to create an amazing lasting and passionate relationship.

I am not sure which day this week it will start, but I want you to be ready because it will change your life for ever.

As a bonus, I will also be providing you with what actions you need to take to make those master skills a success for your relationship.

Do not miss this! This could make the difference in your relationship you have been waiting for!

“Please let your friends and family know that this is coming this week and get them to
Subscribe FREE by
clicking here today!”

This is very exciting and an honour for me to be able to help you and all of my valued subscribers from all over the world.

To your success…

Warm wishes…

Stephen Hedger

How to get what you want…

This is important for you: The key to getting everything you want from relationships, to stuff, to life is down to a few key elements. No matter what you want out of life I’m going to share with you the formula for creating successful futures.

All you have to do is follow this:

  • Understand what you want and why you want it in detail. Many people create ill formed goals and so set themselves up for failure.
  • Understand who you have to be to make that goal a possibility. In other words with your goal in mind what sort of behaviours and thoughts are most likely to get it.
  • With the correct “state” in place and your “goal(s)” defined in detail, the next step is to define the key steps you need to make your goal a possibility.
  • With everything now set for success, all you have to do is take massive action and be persistent, and disciplined every day. When you practice all this every day your chances for success are increased thousand fold.

So will you get what you want now? NO! Not always…

The difference between calculated guessing and true greatness is the ability to be so sure of your goals that even when you fail you take that failure as feedback, learn from your mistakes and redefine the steps and start again.

  • The key to achieving true greatness and success is to make more mistakes faster than anyone else, you will eventually run out of ways to do it wrong.

So as you can see if making mistakes is one of the keys to success, and most people are afraid to make mistakes, you can see why so many people fail to realise their dreams.

Ego’s, fears and limiting beliefs plus ill defined goals all equal a lack of power to control your future and create mediocre lives.

Is that what you want? Or do you want more?

If you do please get in touch today

Divorce: Should we be surprised?

With the majority of couples using trial and error as their strategy for relationship success, is it little wonder why couples have so many problems that end in divorce.

Relationships are probably one of the most important parts of our lives and yet receive so little formal education/attention as we grow up.

How can any of us be expected to understand our relationships if we are never shown how.

Schools, parents, governments, us? Who is responsible for helping us and at what point would that help be most effective and what sort of help would be most effective?

Most of our parents are just as lost as we are, but like it or not we model our parents way of creating our relationships because it the only reference we really have.

The only time people really search to find out more about their relationships is when things are going seriously wrong. Even then they wait far too long before seeking the help they needed years before.

There seems to be a lot of stigma in seeking help, but more than that, there is massive lack of confidence that it will actually work?

One of the question I am asked is how much does my help cost. The reason I am asked this is because society on the whole sees getting relationship help as a massive financial and emotional gamble.

To be honest I can see why, I receive so many people who have experienced relationship help in other forms and have seen little to no results.

One lady seeking my help had been seeing her therapist for a massive 10 years. The therapist clearly had no idea that she had become part of the problem she had promised to help.

One gentleman had been seeing his counsellor for 2 years. Whilst he said he felt better, his real problems were still there, and so he wanted a different approach from me. 5 weeks later he was seeing a massive difference.

One of the many reasons why I decided to do this kind of work was because in my twenties I was appauled at the support my relationship had received by a couples counsellor. She basically charged us £40.00 to argue in her house. Her support actually accelerated our break-up.

Unless you understand how relationships really work and how to get the best out of each other, then how can you be sure that you will not become a statistic.

Education is the key: I believe that all couples need education…

This is the key factor I use in the work I do with couples. This education gives people the tools and the confidence to communicate what they really need.

  • I help people understand why their relationships failed so they don’t repeat the same pattern in their next relationship.
  • I helps couple pre marriage understand what has to happen to keep their love and passion for each other alive.
  • I help couples in crisis understand what is really going on in their relationships.

Education stops the trial error strategy that’s designed for disaster.

We do not have all the knowledge we need to understand our relationships and so whatever your beliefs are today are you sure that what you think you know will actually work.

Plus it’s much better fun understanding yourself and each other long before you really need crisis help.

Are we compatible?

When a couple comes to me for help, the question I have to understand is does the couple have genuine core compatibility problems, or do the individuals in the couple have a relationship problem with themselves which in turn is causing relationship problems.

The latter is usually the case.

If you have been following this blog you will have read the last few posts which have helped you to understand that what you focus on is what you will get.

So if you believe your partner is the problem then firstly you will look for all the ways that they are the problem (If what you have just read now automatically directs you to what your partner has been doing rather than what you have been doing, then as you can see, you are a big part of creating your problems).

Finding problems is far too easy and so you will consider your discoveries as proof, but you will be setting both you and your partner up to fail, this will be your focus and so in your quest to change them they will resist, you will see this resistance as further proof, that they are the problem.

Your focus needs to change for your relationship to succeed.

If you want your partner to change, the first thing you have to do is to change yourself first.

Focus your mind towards to how you can be more of the person/partner you want to be and turn your focus away from the problems you both seem to face.

If your partner needs more of something then ask them what it is and give it to them it’s your responsibility.

You are 100% responsible for the success or failure of your relationship.

If you pull love away or look for ways to punish them expect more problems or pain to hit you fast.

Is today the day to be honest with yourself, do you like who you are and how you are behaving? Are you always focused on what you want or is your focus on what you don’t?

A distorted you will be a focus on all that’s wrong in your life, and as if by magic will give you everything you don’t want in buckets.

So if you are unhappy, find out where your thoughts are focused most of the time in the context of what is wrong for you.

Remember if you have problems it’s very likely you are the cause on some level.

Become part of the solution not part of the problem and start it today!

Relationship Coaching: With Stephen Hedger

Many of my clients come to me with a goal of what they would like to achieve.

Whilst I do help them to achieve their goals sometimes their specific goal could lead them into disaster, maybe to false hope, or failure which just adds insult to injury.

My job as a relationship coach is to re-define their goals so they are achievable.

For example, many clients want to get old relationships back. They want to understand why their relationships have failed and what can they do to get the relationships back.

Other clients come to me as couples not understanding why they are going round in circles.

My first task is usually to help clients go for goals such as happiness first. There are many reason why I take clients down this road.

The first is because getting clients on the verge, or in depression out of their land of despair into a confident and successful place where life is full of opportunity and fun is a great re-focus for those tormented by their loss of the life they really wanted.

The second is because if their goal is to get an old relationship back or their current one back on track, presenting a depressed person as a potential life partner is never very successful.

Present a person who is magnetic to success, life and lives life true to who they really are, now that’s a different story.

It really does not matter what stage of a relationship you are in, becoming the person you want to be is critical to attracting all you desire from your life, including your partner.

What many couples fail to recognise is that despite being together for years they still have to market themselves to attract their partners, but usually they become lazy and fearful.

As a relationship coach I help individual build amazing relationships with themselves first. When individuals connect with their true selves it’s like a light has gone on and life can be seen as an adventure once more, but this time from a place of honesty and this time without the fears.

A relationships coaches job is not to fix relationships. The coaches job is to help individual build amazing relationships with themselves so they can present an honest exciting version of themselves to their partners.

From this place, growth, lasting passion is possible and a relationship coach can show clients the way to support each other to a shared vision/journey through life.

Values: The Key To A Passionate Love Life

When a couple has a values conflict the first thing to go is their sex life.

Many people see VALUES as just a list of words and as a simple list, yes you could say they are important, but miss the immense power they hold to change your life for ever.

If used incorrectly values can cause depression, anxiety, relationship break ups, abuse, violence, anger and many many more problems.

When values are understood and lived by life takes on a success they could never have imagined. People close to suicide discover a new lease of life. Victims of abuse discover how to give themselves security.

All the greats this world has seen understood the massive power of understanding and applying their values to their life consciously.

It’s really simple: If you don’t understand your values and your partners values then expect a traumatic rollercoaster.

It’s bad enough for one person who has no concept of their values for life, but two people attempting to live together will soon run into big trouble.

Values are the most important words you will ever learn, because they mean so much to us that they become a compass for our lives.

Many couples come to me with a conflict of values, they claim that certain values are important yet they fail to live by what they say is important to them.

It’s like a smoker that claims health is important, but carries on smoking. Something nags at them and so they talk about giving up for years but never actually do it. It’s the values nagging!

Couples claim that love is important yet they punish and hurt each other. They claim that trust is important and then they act in an untrusting manner that scares their partner to trust them even less.

It is this total lack of living by the values and standards that help couples fail.

If you are unhappy then the chances of you suffering from a conflict of values is really high. If you are having relationship problems the first place to start is with yourself. Become the best partner you can be by living by what you say is important and then help your partner through their problems.

This Is For You…

When you consider the life you really want to have, the relationships, your career, your friends, houses, cars, holidays, money what springs to mind?

As humans we always have to grow in every area of our lives, because if we are not growing we are dying. So if you consider that to be happy, every part of your life has to grow, or it will become stale and die, you really have no choice, but to decide to take action or to not.

So what has to happen for each area of your life to be ok for you?

This is the point when people become scared to dream because they are afraid to want something just in case they don’t get it. So they limit, or down play their true potential.

  • The reason this happen is because they ask the wrong questions

The real question is what sort of person do I have to become for my dream life to be a possibility? When someone considers what they have to change about themselves to get the life they desire i.e. become more confident, more knowledgeable, more valuable, more courageous, this focuses them to a different place of growth for them, rather than a big impossible mountain to climb.

Successful people in this world start off practicing being the type of people who have money, who have amazing relationships, who have powerful careers long before they ever got to their goal. If they had practised being poor, or lacking in confidence they never would have had any success.

So when you consider the life you would really like, what sort of person do you have to be become today?

To understand how to create this new you, you must understand how behaviours are generated and how if you decide on a life direction you will end up being fulfilled and happy.

There is one clear way of achieving this and that is by understanding how you work and the real power you have to influence yourself and the world around you, if only you could free yourself from your fears of not being enough.

If you want freedom to be the person you really want to be, in the life you really want to live, then understanding you is your first step.

  • I run one-on-one courses to help individuals discover who they have to be. If you are interested please let me know. Click here

Grown Men Have Cried When They Discovered This…

I have had so many instances with my clients that when I explain in detail how and why their values are the key to a happy life for them, they breakdown in total disbelief that they have lived their lives all this time without knowing this life changing and critical information.

Grown men have cried, women have put their head in their hands, some have become angry, some look back with regret of how their lives could have been different if they had really understood this back before their problems really started.

  • So many powerful reactions to this silent wonder that sits within us without us knowing.

See the thing is, when I talk to people about values they usually say yes they understand them, and that they have great values for life.

I then I discover that what they think they understand is far from reality, and so they actually have no idea, not only of what a value really is, but how to use them to get the lives they really want.

I remember the day so clearly day when I understood this and suddenly my life just seemed to snap into sharp focus. I discovered that my values were the key to the life I wanted.

  • The challenge that everyone faces is to understand them and persistently meet your values every day.

Because if you understand the values that are needed to be the person you have always wanted to be, and you meet those values every day you cannot fail in being happy and true to you.

The rules of values

Anyone that is unhappy is NOT living by their values. Understanding your values and how to meet them is the pathway to your emotions.

  • THE RULES ARE SIMPLE: If you meet your values you will be happy, if you don’t you will be unhappy.

Understanding this changes everything because the way we live our lives is with a goal to be happy.

For example people go in search of many ways to be happy.

A woman may go in search of a dress to be happy. She believes the dress will make her happy. In the moment the dress does make her happy, but it does not last for long and so she has to repeat the process to be happy again.

What she has not understood is that the process of buying the dress has given her emotions. It’s the emotions she is after that she gets when she buys the dress, but she thinks it’s the dress she wants, this is her illusion.

She may feel more confident, powerful, in control, significant, attractive…etc When she feels anyone of these things many of her values are being met, but it’s likely she has no idea which one’s, all she knows is she feels happy and this is the route to it.

  • What if she understood how to meet all those emotions through her values without buying anything? What would happen is she could find way to gain lasting happiness that is not conditional on stuff or in this case a dress.

Another example

Many people value money so highly that they spend their lives on a quest to get as much as they can, only to ask this question “… I now have everything I could possibly want, why am I still unhappy?”

Imagine spending your life on a quest and achieving that goal only to discover that what you went for didn’t make you happy.

This is why so many very rich people end up in therapy, they are lost and confused and now exhausted.

  • These people did not understand the power of creating values for lasting happiness.

Now imagine how your relationship would be different, if you understood how to be happy through your values no matter what. Imagine if you could communicate those values to your partner so he or she knew without doubt how to make you happy and you did the same for them.

Then the route to relationship success can be yours in every part of your life.

  • If this has struck a chord with you please get in touch.

Remember this: Knowledge is only power if you persistently apply that knowledge.

To all my valued subscribers

****News update****

I am delighted to announce that have been approached by a firm of Matrimonial Solicitors called IBB Solicitors in west London. They have requested that I offer help to clients that appoach them, who are not sure if divorce is right for them or not.

I have always believed that this is morally the right move for solicitors, however my requests to other law firms have been met by a reluctance due to their potential loss of business.

Very often couples in crisis get a totally distorted vision of their own relationship and each other and so they think that divorce is their only option.

With my guidance I will be helping couples see their relationships differently to free them from fear and then help them build on growth rather than destruction.

****News update****

There will also be a small interruption in your service due to scheduled maintenance to this website. Normal service will be resumed by Monday 13th September.

I want to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to all my readers.

To your success

Stephen Hedger

Relationship Advice for Women

Relationship Advice for Women: Do you want to know the secret to a mans heart? If so then this post is for you.

Discover how to avoid him silently attaching a
truck load of bad feelings to you.

I’m sure that you will agree that men and women are totally different. In fact we are almost like different species when it comes to how we think and behave.

There is good reason for these differences, as evolution and instinct are still at play in all our daily lives. So like it or not there is a powerful force of nature in us all.

From a mans perspective he is happiest when he is congruent with what he was designed to do. He wants top be able to look after his family/woman, provide for them and keep them happy safe and secure.

He wants to be able to mend all the problems you may have and if anything good happens then he would really like to take the credit for it.

When your man is successful at knowing all that’s good in your life is down to him, you’ll have a very happy man.

When he feels this, then you will have helped him attach all that he wants to being with you, this is what you want.

Help him feel successful

So to achieve this, set him up for success, give him something to fix, and show him love when he does it… then watch his mood change. Let him know how safe you feel with him around. Tell him how great he makes you feel about you, he doesn’t need details, he just needs to know it happens.

If he takes you out and he chooses the restaurant tell him what you love about his plans. I know that sometimes he may not be perfect and it may not be how you would like it, but help him understand you, don’t assume he will understand you. After all do you understand you all the time?

So if he gets it wrong or you want him to do something for you, don’t nag! Educate him in a loving way that speaks to a man and not a little boy.

Ask for your money back

The thing is this, whoever sold you the idea that nagging your man to get him to do what you want him to do works, ask for your money back.

You may disagree because your nagging eventually works, but you are not in his head when he reluctantly does what you ask and then “silently gets a truck load of bad feelings and attaches it to you” every time.

You can’t tell a real man what to do, he is not five, PLUS a real man is what you want, kicking a man is not the way to get what you want and get into his heart at the same time.