My Wife Has Fallen Out Of Love With Me Please Help

She told him the marriage was over, she had lost all feelings for him. He knew there were problems, but was totally shocked at her sudden desire to want to end the marriage.

They had a child together and torn with what to do, they sought help. She was convinced the marriage was over, but driven by guilt she felt she owed it to her son to try one last time. Her efforts however seemed half hearted as she shifted between, resigned, cold and sad almost at the same time.

He came to me on his own initially, he wanted the very best service I could offer to help them. He didn’t believe the marriage was over and he told me he would throw all he could at saving his family.

I explained to him that I do run intensive programs for Marriages in Crisis [Read more...]

Do you have to understand your partners emotions before you will respect them?

Reassuring her everything will be okay

Couples who judge each other, or belittle their partners’ emotions will usually find resentment in their relationship and this can be very damaging.

One of the golden keys to a successful marriage is to take away judgment of your partners’ behavior(s).

If he or she feels something, that something is very real to them and even if it makes no sense to you, showing you care about them is critical. [Read more...]

Just because it’s not important to you – it does not mean it’s not important to your partner

You don't understand me at all...

One of the keys to a successful relationship / marriage is understanding or at least a desire to understand your partners’ emotions.

If you or your partner feels something, that feeling is real and needs to be respected.

It doesn’t matter if you agree with their reasons behind why they are upset, what’s important is the person you say you care/love about is in trouble emotionally and your job is to care and to help them. [Read more...]

Relationship Frustration is caused by…

Do you ever feel that you can’t get through to your partner? Do you feel that what you are saying is landing on deaf ears? Do you feel that your partner is trying to be difficult on purpose?

If someone felt all those things what do you think they might feel and what meaning would they then put to those thoughts? [Read more...]

How To Save My Marriage – Step-By-Step Advice by Stephen Hedger

When trying to save any marriage knowing where to put your energy is very important. So many couples who have lost their intimacy focus on that part of their relationship and try to fix that with disastrous consequences for their relationship.

In many cases the intimacy is not the core issue it’s a symptom of the couples real problem.

The couple may have lost trust in each other, or in their future together. If trust goes then the desire to meet each others needs also goes away.

So if the couple lose those two key element then intimacy will suffer. [Read more...]

How to trust again after an affair

Trust is one of those key foundations for life, without it we know that something feels very wrong.

So how do you create trust, how is it possible to trust others? How is it possible to trust others when you have proof at times they can’t be trusted?

One lady came to me last year for help because her partner had an affair, she wanted to keep the relationship, but felt naturally vulnerable and so she presented him with a legal document she wanted him to sign. [Read more...]

Our relationship is terrible because my partner changed

One of the most disempowering places to be in a relationship is thinking you have no control over what happens when things go wrong.

You know you are a good person, so why is your partner behaving so badly? Why can’t they change back to what it was like when you first met?

Why can’t they understand you, why do they want to hurt you so much?

Many people lose hope because they can’t see a way forward. The key to this problem is to understand what you can control, the one thing you can effectively control is you. [Read more...]

This will eventually crush your relationship

As you scan through todays post you will start to notice if this is in your relationship. If it is then please make it your mission to change it because it is one of the fundamental behaviors that create a marriage breakdown.

No matter how your partner is behaving they will have an intent that sits behind what they do or say. If you assume their intent is anything other than good then you will rock their core foundations and they will see you as someone they can’t be with.

If you question someones intent you are questioning their identity.

Anyone that feels they can’t be themselves in the relationship will be suffering or planning an escape. Loving couples don’t want their partner to suffer, so if you want to keep your relationship this is critical to understand.

I urge you to learn about your partner. [Read more...]

Simple Steps To Save Your Relationship Or Marriage Step-By-Step Guidance

If your relationship is in trouble and you have tried everything to fix it yourself and nothing is working then these are the simple steps that will have a massive impact on your relationship and are the steps I use when working with couples in crisis.

Step 1 – Get leverage

I help people understand the true cost of not fixing their relationship problems. When people decide to split-up they don’t think about the true cost both emotionally and financially. The cost is always much bigger than they thought, it’s far more expensive, the emotional fall out goes on for years and massively effects their future relationships, plus their children are affected for life sometimes hating their parents. [Read more...]

It’s time to invest in you…

As we grow from children into adults we are conditioned that if we work hard get a good education we’ll have the opportunity to create the lives we want.

So we put 1000’s of hours into developing our professional skills in our quest to get the lives we want.

So my question is this if education is so critical, why do we expect our relationships to happen naturally with no education?

How is it even possible for two people to meet have no relationship building skills and expect their relationship to last? [Read more...]

When did you and I stop being us?

She sat hands clasped, lacking in confidence and underweight through worry.  I was exploring with her what their relationship was like in the first year. She was suffering from fears created by a traumatic past that needed understanding and removing, so I had invited her for a one-on-one session with me.

As she started to tell the stories of what they used to do, how they used to play together, do daft things in public, her face starting to light up and she smiled as she relived those moments where she was happy, clearly connected to her true feminine self.

As she drifted into that world that filled her with joy, startled she broke her own trance, hand over her mouth she gasped… [Read more...]

The Biggest Myth That Could Easily Damage Your Relationship

This post is about a relationship myth that we all hear, one which most people will agree with, but it’s one that has tragic consequences if believed to be true.

The Myth: “Passion Dies As Time Passes”

Why is it so many people believe this is true. The answer is because they all experience it. Ask anyone if this is normal most people would agree it is.

The reason it is so dangerous for couples and their relationships is because it’s not strictly true, but if accepted, couples will believe this is normal and accept the death of that part of their relationship.

Loss of intimacy is one of the top reasons for divorce so understanding how to keep the passion alive is critical. [Read more...]

Lack of Understanding Cripples Couples!

The reason so many couples struggle is because they really don’t understand each other. If this goes on for long enough what they start to feel is fear/emotional pain, they feel alone and unsupported. The worst place to feel lonely is in a relationship.

Fear then becomes the filter of experience for that person. So when their partner communicates what they hear is very different from their partners’ original intention. In essence they are searching for problems as their partner communicates to them. Anyone can at this point find problems with the most innocent of comments. [Read more...]

We all want passionate lasting relationships so why do so many couples struggle?

I want to say that I really do feel for all couples that are struggling to make their relationship work, it is one of the hardest places to be. I know because I too was once in this place, lost, frustrated and angry.

Why could I not make them work for me? I was young and had a lot to learn, in fact the pain was so great that I made understanding relationships my life purpose so I could help others avoid what I had gone through.

Because I know personally the pain that couples go through from my own experiences my biggest pleasure today is helping couples understand their truth. Some couples should not be together, but many are struggling not because they are wrong for each other, but because they are missing some key information. [Read more...]

Does divorce seem like the only option?

If we divorce are we making a mistake? If your relationship has been dead for years’ maybe it has been dead for a reason. You see some couples are just not meant to be together.

  • Many people assume that my mission is to fix all couples relationships… it’s not, there is no point in just one person being happy in a relationship!

My mission is to help individuals create successful fulfilling lives in the way they want. Not being together might be the right decision. Maybe they will be happier apart… [Read more...]

Top 10 Reasons Why Your Sex Life Will Die

The most common symptom of a struggling relationship is when the passion/intimacy dies. Sex in a relationship is a powerful barometer of how the relationship is really doing.

Everyone expects the passion to be heightened when they first met, but unfortunately the view is that over time it dies and this view seems to be widely accepted.

The reality is this does not have to be the case, if it has died it has died for a reason and that reason is not time. You both have to consistantly do something for your sex life to stop.

So let’s look at the top ten reasons why your sex life could be on it’s way out…

[Read more...]

Is Your Relationship Giving You What You Really Need – In The Way You Want It?

Is your relationship growing or dying? Are your needs being met in the way you want?

Of course growing would only happen through the love of wanting to understand each others needs and understand why you are stronger together than apart. Why does your future look more exciting with your partner than on your own? Maybe it doesn’t!

The focus has to be on the pleasure of an exciting life together, if what came up for you were fears, dread or that no future could be seen then maybe it’s time to explore your relationship.

At the bottom of this post there is a quick test you can ask yourself to explore what’s happening for you. [Read more...]

I want to trust but I can’t

If someone has a problem with trust it can cause big problems in their relationships. Trust is a fundamental part of growth. Without trust the relationship dies.

When I work with individuals who are challenged in this area what we usually discover is they don’t know how to trust themselves. Some are aware of this within themselves and some don’t know.

A person who doesn’t know how to trust themselves feels they will be safer if they create some kind of blanket coping mechanism that fits all situations. [Read more...]

We all want passionate lasting relationships so why do so many couples struggle?

I want to say that I really do feel for all couples that are struggling to make their relationship work, it is one of the hardest places to be. I know because I too was once in this place, lost, frustrated, angry why could I not make them work for me?

Because I know personally the pain that couples go through from my own experiences my biggest pleasure today is helping couples understand their truth. Some couple should not be together, but many are struggling not because they are wrong for each other, but because they are missing some key information.

What if just a few things make 80% of the difference for couples. What if all couples could quickly learn those critical steps they could take?

Most couples put so much effort into dating each other and have no idea what works and what doesn’t so they stop doing what works without knowing.

Over the years they practice doing what will ultimately kill their relationship, but they don’t mean to, they don’t know they are doing it.

Couples can assume the wrong things about each other for years.

If couples were really aware of the massive differences between male and female their perspective on their relationship and how they respond to each other would change in an instant.

But of course the differences between the sexes is just a part of the mix for success.

  • Growing from conflict
  • Planning a life together
  • Building lasting trust
  • Meeting each other core needs

All this combined with undoing the myths that society hypnotise us all with, plus one key the key to creating a relationship where you can be truly you.

That key is to understand you and what equals happiness for you. How do you create fulfilment for yourself?

If you knew the key to your relationship with yourself then helping others become successful with you would be so much easier.

These are some of the simple steps that couples can take with me to discover their truth with me.

Your relationship is valuable if what you have done so far has not worked please don’t assume it will sort it’s self out with time. Something has to change and the assumption the relationship is wrong could be the wrong one.

Is there a lack of Honesty in Your Relationship?

Couples in trouble usually end up with more words that are unspoken in the relationship than spoken. This lack of honesty about each others true feelings causes problems. Of course the reason they don’t speak is because they have stopped seeing the point, or don’t see it as the solution.

So now they can only be honest to friends, family, children and this hurts the relationship and so resentment starts to grow.

Honesty is a powerful word sometimes linked to trust. Most of us would agree that we want honesty in our relationships. It is a key factor in building successful relationships.

When honesty and trust are mentioned many people go to thoughts of affairs, or not being able to trust your partner with members of the opposite sex.

Whilst this is true the words trust and honesty are much broader in meaning and power.

For example: I discover in sessions that many women are not communicating the truth of how they feel to their partner through fear of their partner leaving them. This is one of many combinations couples experience.

This lack of honesty will create a conflict within them and so they change how they behave without knowing. They become unhappy due to this conflict and as a result they pull away to protect themselves and their partner feels it. [Read more...]