Understanding what men want

February 10, 2013 By Stephen Hedger 4 Comments

Yes men have needs too and if she can learn to understand what he needs he will feel great about himself and attach that great feeling to her. So below is an outline of what he wants/needs. Of course every man is different and so try out some of the suggestions below and see what reaction you get.

He wants to know he can please her. This is a primary driver in most men and is a significant source of pain if he feels can’t. If she’s not happy he will be in pain.

He wants her to give him feedback. If you don’t tell a man when he’s done well he will assume his actions haven’t worked and he will never do it again. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Relationships & Men Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

If we split up are we making a mistake?

January 31, 2013 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

Who Have I Become?

This is a significant worry that just prolongs the agony of staying in a relationship that feels wrong.

I also see too many people regret their decision to leave their partner, so if you are unsure please find out.

Too many people find that the solution of leaving is very painful so some short term effort could avoid that long-term pain. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Couples coaching, Divorce Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Why do couples grow apart?

July 26, 2012 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

One fundamental reason is this: Women will marry the man she feels he can become, so she expects him to change and grow into that person. Men on the other hand marry the woman he wanted and so he doesn’t expect or want her to change.

This of course is going to create a significant challenge because every day they will be moving further and further apart from each other without knowing the possible expectations.

At the point of relationship breakdown women will explain their disappointment in their partner using words like “he has become someone I don’t recognise”. The men complain “she is negative and nagging” this is not who he married. [Read more...]

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Understanding men in relationships

July 23, 2012 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

What is a man designed to do? He is designed to be physically strong make firm decisions, breakthrough challenges and take action to solve or fix problems.

When he is in this space he feels great about himself and ironically this is what many women want their men to be like.

You see many women are surprised in my couples session when we discuss how our needs are met.

Women in relationship crisis will have needs missing. They feel the trust has gone and they usually feel less certain about their future. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Relationships & Men Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Relationship Advice For Women

June 20, 2012 By Stephen Hedger 1 Comment

Yesterday we spoke about helping men to be successful with their partners. Today the basic principle of putting yourself in the shoes of your partner is just as critical for her to do for him.

In other words how to understand him and why he does what he does.

One of the biggest sources of pain for most men is the inability to please, or be successful with his partner. The biggest pain for him is knowing he has failed her and he is not her source of pleasure.

Having worked with so many couples over the years I know that many women do not believe that pleasing her is his goal because she feels so dreadful when she is with him. [Read more...]

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Relationship Advice For Men

June 19, 2012 By Stephen Hedger 2 Comments

One of the ways to become an amazing partner for her is to understand your partner from her perspective. Too many men only see their world from their own perspective and when he does this she knows he doesn’t understand her.

  • This for her is a significant source of pain and the basis of real problems in relationships today.

When pain strikes many women initially fight and battle with their partner. He sees this battle with her as negative because the fight is proof of something bad for him. [Read more...]

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My Wife is Aggressive what do I do?

April 3, 2012 By Stephen Hedger 1 Comment

If you find yourself in this situation firstly understand there is a really good reason behind it. So understanding what to do will create a significant impact on the relationship.

There are two forms of aggression, one which is verbal the other is phyisical violence. The one we are looking at today is verbal agression only.

If your wife becomes verbally aggressive she is trying to get a message through to you. It has become more aggressive because she feels that you have not understood her and so she is escalating her message hoping you will understand. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Communication Problems, Couples coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Signs of an Amazing Man!

February 10, 2012 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

For all couples that come to me for help there seems to be a confusion surrounding the roles of men and women in relationships.

Of course it’s not for me to tell couples what to do and how to live their lives, but there are some core behaviours that when in place make a significant difference.

One of the most successful behaviours is helping the man to feel like he is the security in the relationship. Women want this and so do the men. But their is confusion as to what secuity actually means and this causes problems. For example: Many men see their role is to create money and this is the fix for creating security.  The money makes him feel like a man.

Whilst on some level this is true, the money is a security it’s actually a weak substitute for what she really wants.

Some men feel that because he told her he loved her last year, she should know he does. He says, “you know I love you don’t you!?”

You see his version of security and hers is totally different. This is why problems are so common.

One of the things she wants is this: At the point she is in emotional pain and fearful of the future she can turn to him for love and certainty in the way she wants.

Most men struggle with this because of the way she presents her pain, this could be shouting, moaning, pulling love away.

In reaction to this men get upset. In other words become emotional. At the moment he does this she sees his fear and she has to get strong to look her and some women end up looking after him.

This creates fear for her because now she is the strength in the relationship and this disconnects her and so their intimacy dies.

When I ask men to love her through the pain she is in [I teach men how to do this – there is a specific way it needs to be done] his normal reaction is to ask, so what her role? What is she going to do for me?

He has now shown me that he wants to create a trade. Trading in relationships is guaranteed to kill intimacy the last thing he wants.

The sign of an amazing man in a relationship is one that does not feel the need to judge his partners reactions, what he focuses on is the pain she is in and he loves her through her pain thus becoming her security.

What this does is ignites the energy back into the relationship. She feels safe to become herself again and her desire to give to her man becomes massive and automatic.

BUT to give, especially intimately she has to feel safe. When a man becomes this security for her, he becomes that amazing man she saw in him when they first met.

The man she always hoped he would be!

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Is Changing Him a Good Idea?

February 4, 2012 By Stephen Hedger 2 Comments

Some women are asking their men to be more sensitive, to share their thoughts, emotions, worries and to become more vulnerable. They want this because they see this as the solution to their relationship problems.

The reason this desire for men to connect emotionally from women is because the women feel that their men are detached from their inner emotions. They know that their partners don’t understand them, because they struggle to be understood.

Women try so hard to be understood, but become frustrated when they know they are not. Not being understood from a female perspective can feel fearful and lonely. In this place her security that the relationship is going to be the way she wants, it is challenged.

Men at this point feel nagged, criticised, put down as she tries to get through to him… [Read more...]

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Can My Marriage Be Saved?

January 25, 2012 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

It is true that not all relationships can or should be saved. Some relationships are in real crisis and need special attention that’s designed to discover if they are really compatible.

The balance of goals is usually different for couples in place i.e. one person wants to save the relationship the other wants to leave. I like to take the pressure off this situation, by focusing on helping them to achieve something good for themselves.

The goal initially becomes a focus on a future of happiness for the individuals regardless of the outcome. The possibility of happiness brings a breath of fresh air to the couple and takes pressure off the person who wants to leave the relationship.

You see if the relationship has been going wrong for a while both people will have changed how they react to each other due to the accumulated fears of an uncertain history  together.

They will have tried to make it work, but with no relationship education they will only be trying what they know, and this will be limited. Now they feel they have proof the relationship is over.

In other words “fears” will be making decisions and they usually make bad ones.

So it becomes a real relief for the individuals to create a new goal to focus on creating confidence and happiness within themselves at a time when they are saturated with a focus on getting strong and moving away from pain of all that wrong in their lives.

The initial goal is to align the individuals to create behaviours within them that protect them rather than destroy them. A focus on fear or emotional pain on any level just ends up creating more pain.

So if the relationship is wrong it’s far better if both people in the couple can see that and agree there is more pleasure in them parting. This creates a far better relationship if they have children.

The reason behind this is so the couple can look at the relationship from a new resourceful perspective knowing that whatever happens they will be happy.

It’s far easier to correct a relationship if you feel happier in yourself than trying to fix it whilst focused on all your fears and internal pain.

The process of removing fears within the individuals gives the couple a new perspective that helps them get to a place where there are open to building trust with each other.

If the trust building process is successful then we can focus on the needs of the individuals and how they can support each other.

Helping each other meet critical needs is a critical step to help them rebuild the passion which would have gone many month/years back.

As the couple start to reconnect then we can discover the truth in the goals that might cause problems.

Usually what we discover is now the connection is focused on loving and contributing to each others happiness any goal which pulled them apart no longer seems so attractive.

So “Can My Marriage Be Saved?” the next step is up to you, walking away is easy, but don’t you want to know if you can really trust what you feel?

  • Has this struck a chord with you? If so please get in touch today
Filed Under: Save A Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Real Peoples Answers: Can You Spot The Problems?

January 18, 2012 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

The following questions and answers point towards something important see if you can guess what it is…

  • Why won’t you give love to your partner? Because I don’t get it back!
  • Why are you dating? I want to find a man to help me with my children!
  • Why do you think you are in love with him? Because of all the things he does for me!
  • What drove you to have an affair? She gives so much and makes me feel important unlike my wife!
  • Why is a relationship important to you? I don’t want to be alone.

Did you spot the common thread with each person?

Each person was focused on themselves and what they are getting. When things go wrong their focus is likely to be focused on what they are not getting.

  • If you are focused on what a relationship can give you, the chance of it failing are dramatically increased.

  • If you are focus on what you can give to a relationship now we have a real chance of success on many levels.

You see ironically the more you give to your relationship the more you’ll get back. Of course you have to give what your partner really wants. No point giving what you think they want you could prove you don’t understand them.

In my experience if you give consistently through understanding you’ll get back 10 times what you put in.

So the model is simple, never give to get, give because you are a giving person!

The irony is the giving person always ends up with far more than the selfish one.

Filed Under: Relationship Education Tagged With: , , , ,

I Spend A Lot Of Time Helping Men Become More Confident Partners

December 16, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

To be honest men are confused with their relationships and it’s not difficult to understand why, from his perspective she doesn’t make sense at all. So my job is to help the men with understanding her so he can be successful with her again.

Typical questions from men?

  • She wants equality in the relationship, but she wants to be treated like a lady?
  • She wants security in the relationship, but the money I make doesn’t make her feel secure with me?
  • She disrespects me in arguments and says awful things, but she tells me what she really wants is love. How do you love someone who’s screaming at you?
  • I tell her I love her, but weeks later she wants to hear it again, does she not believe me?
  • When she talks to me I try to fix her problems, but all she gets is crosser.
  • The more I try to please her, the more irritated she becomes.
  • Whatever I do never seems to make her happy.
  • She seems to be getting so tough and distant I keep out of her way.
  • I buy her loads of presents, but nothing cheers her up.

These are just a few perspectives I get from men.

All of these questions have very easy answers, but from a mans perspective it feels impossible, he will feel like he has tried everything and failed.

Why because men and women think totally differently, the differences are very real and through this lack of understanding massive problems can come out of confusion.

The truth is he has only tried what he knows and there is a lot he is not aware of. Being female being one of them.

It is this simple knowledge and new perspective of understanding each other differently that builds confidence that he can be successful with her again.

This is one of the keys to why I can be so successful with couple so quickly.

Lack of understanding creates fears and the fears destroy the relationships.

Of course this is not a one way street, women need to understand their men too and women are equally confused.

  • If you love each other and want fast answers then get in touch today! Click here
Filed Under: Communication Problems, Confidence Coaching, Couples coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What Have You Been Doing Without Knowing To Make Your Life Worse?

December 11, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

I know many will ignore this, but for you, I hope you take your time to understand the magnitude of what you are about to read so next year can really be the way you want it.

As 2011 draws to a close I wonder as you reflect on this year what has been your primary focus. I wonder what you have spent most of your time directing your mind to. It’s important to understand this because it’s why your life is the way it is now. If you’re not happy with what you’ve got then clearly a change has to be on the cards for you!

In this post today I will share with you what I believe to be one of the most important messages you will ever receive

Take a moment to think: What have you been feeling and thinking about this year and why?

Most people have problems of some kind, but what’s interesting is because the problem becomes their focus, all the persons’ energy is directed towards the problem. [Read more...]

Filed Under: How Our Minds Work Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How to Make Him Addicted To You?

December 5, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

If you want your man to be addicted to you the first thing you have to do is understand the world from his perspective. To be successful you must understand this first: Men and women behave totally differently in their relationships. So you have to throw away your “Girl rule book” and start to understand “The Guy Rule Book”.

The Truth:
He Doesn’t Understand You! - BUT he wants to…

…actually he really wants to… But beware: If he feels he really can’t please you, he WILL give up! So you have to help him!

If you feel he has given up then understanding “The Guy Rules” will go along way to rebuilding his interest in you!

Let’s face it, no matter how many times you try to speak with your boyfriend or partner you just know he doesn’t really understand you, don’t you?

You may have tried all sorts of ways to get his attention, but it’s like he doesn’t care. Now when you look back at when you first met, you may feel sad because it wasn’t always that way was it?

Do you remember the days when you first started seeing each other? Do you remember how addicted he was to you back then?

Most women and men expect the relationship to change and the excitement to die as the years pass. Women usually put the early drive in their men down to his desire to have sex with them.

Whilst there is some truth in this, it is only a fraction of what really drives his addiction.

So what is more powerful than sex to help a man become addicted to you?

I know what you really want is for him to understanding you, but for this to be possible start today, by being the example for him and really get to know him. Do not get to know him from your own perspective get to know him from his – this is critical!

You see he has very different needs from you and so if you use your girl model of what feels good you will be getting it wrong and this could cause him frustration.

The Goal: What you want is for him to feel good about himself
when he is with you.

He will then associate great feeling to being with you and he will feel addicted again, just like when you first met.

To understand this you need to understand what drives him in a relationship, of course all men are different, but there are some key areas which 99% of men are driven by so this is a great area to focus on.

The rules that will addict a man to a woman

  1. Rule One: The most amazing feeling for a man is when he pleases the woman he loves. A smile on her face is like pure magic to him. What he wants and is looking for is how to be successful with her. If he starts to feel she is always unhappy with him, the unbearable feeling of not being enough for her can worry him. He can start to feel a failure and this can become overwhelming. Not wanting to feel this way he removes himself from the relationship and goes to where he feels good about himself again. This could be work, friends, hobbies even other females.
  2. Rule Two: Men have an overwhelming desire to fix problems and provide solutions. When he is confident he can fix her problems, or prove to her he has done a great job this makes him feel amazing about himself. Give him stuff to fix he will love to prove he can do anything.
  3. Rule Three: Of course he loves sex too, but the above is far more important. To him a sexual connecting is one of his primary ways of expressing love. Plus if she is open to intimacy with him then he must have done something right.
  4. Rule Four: Freedom is also a key value for men never try to cage him!

Now you know a few key drivers for him, the goal is for YOU to help him to feel the above as often as possible, so he can attach all his great feelings to you.

This is what you want. Punish him for doing you a wrong, and he will get frustrated, shout and defend. Keep doing it he will shut down and run to where he does feel successful. Punish him too many times and he may shut down for good. [Of course couples that come for one-on-one session learn with me how to do this and grow their relationship meet both their needs at the point of conflict. BUT without that key knowledge, know that punishment doesn’t work... EVER!]

So…if he starts to feel great about himself when he is with you, he starts to create a future in his mind that equals him being successful with you, this is what he wants more than anything.

Remember: Not pleasing you is hell for him!

Now I know he is not perfect and maybe when you are feeling troubled he tries to help you by fixing stuff that does not need fixing. You get upset and he gets more frustrated. Understand firstly that his intention is good even if what he does doesn’t work.

So the answer is to help him so he can help you.

Tell him what you need when you feel fearful or not safe. Tell him that your cross words at him are just you letting off steam and the best thing he can do is reassure you and give you love. Ask him to focus on the pain you are feeling and not the words.

You see he is conditioned to listen to every word you say and take it 100% seriously and hold on to it. Sometimes when you get really angry with him you say things you don’t mean, sadly men think you do mean those words and they take your pain and feel pain themselves, thus making it all about them. This is destructive for the relationship!

If you want your man to be addicted to you, then understand what you want him to feel when he is around you. Remember whatever he feels consistently he will attach to you so be careful.

Hope you have found this useful, are you now interested to learn more?

If you have read this far then clearly you too are passionate about your relationship.

I have created a FREE ONLINE RELATIONSHIP COURSE. For seven days you will receive more advice on how to successfully build a lasting passionate relationship.

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Don’t forget to share this with your friends…

Filed Under: Couples coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Is My Relationship Worth Saving?

November 21, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

Here is a typical situation, a couple is wanting help, but with very different goals. One person wants to fix the relationship no matter what and the other is unsure if it is worth it.

I agree that it is not right to save a relationship that is fundamentally wrong, the question is how do we find out if it is wrong before we agree parting is the best solution for that couple.

Some couples that come to see me should not be together I can see it quite quickly, but for the most the challenges they face is more about a lack of understanding than compatibility.

How I help these couples

To help a couple in this place we all need to agree we share a common goal. I like to take the pressure off the couple and make happiness their goal for themselves. I do this because they are both likely to be in fear and so very “me” focused. Happiness would always feel like a great goal.

This disarms the couple to be in a place to learn.

You see when the filter of experience is focused on their problems and fears, not being enough, not being loved etc. The chances of them learning how and why the relationship has failed is zero.

With the pressure off and knowing my intention is for the good for the individuals and not just on fixing the relationship. Both people learn that maybe there are critical pieces of information and understandings that were missing for them both.

New understandings bring fresh perspectives, on their relationships.

What this process does is help the couple to understand how they can easily meet each others needs whilst meeting their own. They discover how they can do this day-to-day and most importantly at the critical points of conflict.

Couples that have learnt this with me don’t take long to decide that their relationship is worth saving after all.

New commitments are made and growth and passion are now possible again.

Filed Under: Couples coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Why Couples Fail to Communicate

September 3, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

Communication breakdown is high on the list of why couples break up. If you don’t feel understood by your partner then you won’t feel heard. If your partner can’t understand what you need, your needs will not be met.

If your needs are not met you won’t be happy this can lead to break up. So please communicate effectively, it’s so critical. I have put together some basics below to help you.

What is important when communicating

The most critical part is listening AND, listening and understanding your partners intention behind his, or her words.

What couples tend to do, is put their own meanings on their partner words and then make their partners responsible for this new translation. You will hear couple who fight saying… “that’s not what I said” or “that’s not what I meant”.

It’s so frustration when anyone does this and you feel your being made out to be the bad guy.

Communication Rules

  • Never assume your partners intention is to try to hurt you.
  • Never make your partner wrong.
  • If you don’t understand your partners words ask for the underling intent.
  • If your partner is communicating they are wanting their needs met, discover which ones.
  • Men: If your partner wants to talk, just listen, more than that, look her in the eyes and listen so she knows you are present. Whatever she is feeling she wants to share that with you. You may want to fix her problem, don’t unless she asks.
  • Women: Men will usually have an attention span of about 10 minutes, especially if he has nothing to fix, any longer will frustrate him. One of the reasons he struggles is he is looking for a point to the conversation so he can fix the problem. Women don’t communicate this way so he gets lost in all her words and fears he will fail her.
  • Men: If she gets upset what’s important is not the words, whats important is how she feels. If she is upset she feels pain, so help her with her pain. Don’t get hurt by her words, she wants love and understanding, that why she upset.
  • If your man is quiet he is having a wonderful time!
  • If your woman is quiet there is a problem!
  • The key is understanding how each other works. Men’s communication is very direct, a womans is indirect. If the window is open and the temperature is dropping, she might say… “it’s getting cold in here!” and man would say ” It’s cold please close the window” To a woman her words are obvious, to a man it’s not 100% clear.

Another story I share with my clients is one I heard, but can’t remember where from…

A couple are on a motorway and he is driving. She spots a sign that says “motorway services quarter of a mile” she turns to him and says, “are you hungry darling” he smiles back to her and says “NO!” and drives past the motorway services.

He can’t understand then why she has become volcanic and he’s a selfish @*?”$^… You get the picture!

I hope this helps a little, happy chatting….

Filed Under: Communication Problems Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

3 Relationship Phases – Relationship Test

August 22, 2011 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

Which phase are you in within your relationship? These phases are very telling and can help anyone to know what will happen to that relationship in the future.

Phase One

In this stage the individual is focused on getting his or her needs met before their partners. This is a very self focused approach and puts the individual in a taking frame of mind to get what they want.

Phase Two 50%/50% Relationship

In this state the couple are trading with each other for what they need in a relationship. The couple will give to each other, but they want something in return.

Phase Three 100%/0

In this phase the couple are focused on understanding each other needs and making sure those needs are met, with no expectation of anything in return.

Which relationship phase are you in and what is likely to happen to your relationship?

In Phase One a me focused relationship is doomed to fail. Even if the couple stay together they will resent each other and find other ways to meet their needs. Remember our needs are critical which means they have to be met.

In Phase Two a trading relationship. This relationship will end up with a loss of intimacy and like a brother and sister type relationship. The man could be beaten emotionally by the woman and the woman will be strong or depressed or both. The man could also bully to get what he wants and convince his partner he is right. There are many ways in which people trade, none of it works and if they don’t split up, an underlying unhappiness sits in the relationship. This results in resentment and loss of respect.

In Phase Three the couple who are focused on meeting their partner needs with no expectation. These are the ones who will succeed not only in creating a lasting relationship, but will also keep their intimacy and passion. Most couples don’t do this and so the myths that surround relationships, such as over time the passion goes, comes true and is accepted.

The process of giving selflessly to those you say you love is likely to put an individual at peace with themselves then the cause and effect process becomes automatic as the receiver wants to give back. When a couple work to understand each others needs and takes action to fulfill them a wonderful new meaning takes over the relationship.

If you are in a relationship and you want to keep it, this is the only model that really works!

So where are you and your partner?

  • Phase One
  • Phase Two
  • Phase Three
  • If you want to now learn more about how to practice Phase Three so it works please get in touch.
Filed Under: Relationship Test Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How To Meet Your Partners Needs

August 19, 2011 By Stephen Hedger 2 Comments

Yesterday we spoke about the “Number 1 reason why couples break up?” and what has to happen for the relationship to be successful again. The answer was to meet your partners needs!

Now I know many of you will have a belief that you have done all you can to meet your partners needs and he or she is impossible to please. The challenge everyone faces is that what you think their needs might be could be totally different from what they actually need.

So it’s not difficult to understand that unless you find out what you partner really needs your chances of failure are high.

Now every one is different, and I am going to put a guide to help you understand what is most likely to work.

When you read through this list I want you to notice your reaction to yourself. You may either not want to do this, or feel it is impossible because, maybe your partner has behaved so badly.

Just notice what you notice about you.

Meeting a Womans Basic Needs

  • A woman needs a man to be there for her emotionally and especially when she becomes upset. She needs love and understanding through any pain she feels inside. She can communicate her pain through criticism, swearing, putting him down. If a man can weather these times by listening, giving her love and his presence she will start to see a future that can be secure with him.
  • Find out what she loves from the big stuff down to the small stuff. If a man puts regular effort into keeping the relationship alive and exciting in the way she likes she will attach great feelings to him.
  • What actions or words, does she need to feel important? Every week he can discover how to make her know she is the most important person in the world to him.
  • She wants to be loved by her man and his mission is to discover what it is that helps her feel that love. Looking deep into her eyes with love in your heart for her will be a great start. She will need more, find out what that more is for her, she is unique and how she connects with it will be unique to her. Could be anything from a loving nickname to a smile.
  • She has a vision for her future, find out what it is create goals you can both get excited about and commit to helping her becoming the woman she wants to be in the life she wants to live.
  • Become selfless and give to her, but do it with no expectation of getting anything back. Give to her because you love her and want the best for her, don’t trade with her because, she will feel your needs are more important than hers.
  • If she feels his needs are more important than hers to him, she will feel unsafe in the relationship with him and problems will be on the horizon.

So the question now is this? Is this possible for you to give all the above to her? If it isn’t is now the time to understand why? Of course I’m always here to help those of you that want to learn more.

Tomorrow I will share with you a Mans Basic Needs.

As always please feel free to comment below.


Filed Under: Relationship Needs Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Women Want A Real Man!!!

June 12, 2011 By Stephen Hedger 7 Comments

Most woman reading this will share this view “Women Want A Real Man” and in their mind have their own version of what that means. What she thinks and feels, needs to be respected and most of all listened to.

I strongly urge all men to read this:

I also know that men want to be able to please their partner, they feel terrible inside when they feel they can’t, or they feel they have tried and tried, but it’s hopeless.

So with these two desires, her wanting to be loved in the way she wants and him with the burning desire to please her and make her happy this should be easy, RIGHT? You’d think!

So let’s go some way to define what a Real Man is from a womans perspective. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Couples coaching, Emotional intelligence Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What is Love Really?

June 5, 2011 By Stephen Hedger 1 Comment

“Love” is a wonderful word with so many potential meanings, that can be combined with the hope of a future of connected happiness, harmony and passion with a significant someone who you believe has your best interests at heart. Not just your lover, but your best friend too.

So if a couple gets into trouble and the future looks very unstable how can the couple claim to still love each other?

Some couples in this situation may even say “I love you, but I’m not in love with you!” is that really possible or is that a smart get out clause.

What does this magical word “Love” really mean?

I remember being with a group of women who wanted to have a session to collectively ask me questions about relationships. [Read more...]

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