Affairs & Why They Happen

When either a man or a woman in a relationship embarks on an affair the reasons are because they believe or feel that their needs are not being met in the relationship.

There is never a good reason for an affair, because if the relationship has problems then the couple needs to address their problems. The answers to their problems are never outside the relationship and the pain affair causes is never worth the perceived pleasure it brings.

The problem is, the emotions that drive affairs are never rational and so affairs will keep happening.

Most assume these needs are sex, but very often it runs far deeper than that, other critical factors to those individuals are driving them to act.

What causes an affair

To start with those that have affairs may not  feel good about themselves, or something, and have attached those feelings to their current relationship. So whatever they are missing they will start to search elsewhere to have those feelings met.

They might not feel significant to their partner and an affair will make that person feel important at that moment. They may not feel secure in their current relationship and so an affair helps them to forget their problems and gives them artificial pockets of security.

They may not feel loved or they could be missing excitement as their own relationship becomes boring.

Or maybe it is as simple as their relationship is lacking the type of passion they want, they either can’t get want they want from their partner or are afraid to ask for it.

If years of feeling this way is added to a relationship that has stopped growing then that relationship will struggle to compete with the excitement of an affair.

It’s true that men are more likely to stray than women because

  1. They are designed to impregnate many women through instinct.
  2. Their minds are built differently to women’s and so the connect between love and sex is not the same as for women.

This is why in affairs women are most likely to break off an affair because they cannot see an emotional future where the man will be happy with just sex.

She will ask

When a woman is a victim of an affair one of her big questions will be, “do you love her?” this is because from a woman’s perspective she is designed to see love and sex as, one of the same, or at least directly connected together.

The man will say about his affair “it meant nothing” when he says this he is telling the truth, because for him love and sex are separate.

In contrast if a woman has an affair and says “…it meant nothing” then because she is designed to see that connection as more than sex then she will not be telling the whole truth.

What’s important is, if you are thinking of having an affair or you are the victim, know that it’s the missing needs in your relationship is what’s driving the affair to happen.

Look after your relationships and do all you can to understand how they work and more than that what you have to do to ensure your relationship stays safe.

He never wants to talk anymore?

One of the biggest problems women have with their men is that they don

How to communicate with women

One of the biggest complaints I hear from men is how hurt they are at the words that their wives use. Men hear the words that women use and take them quite literally.

  • For example: You never pay me a compliment! The woman will be focused on wanting to be appreciated loved and feel attractive to her husband. The man however will be focused on the word

Differences Between The Sexes – Communication

Have you ever wondered why men and women struggle to understand each other?

There are many, many reasons, but here is one that might help.

Do you notice that women can talk and talk and talk and never really seem to have a point. For example they can go on a shopping trip and talk at length at everything they did and saw, tried on liked and disliked.

Why when women talk about their day like this do men switch off.

Do the men not love their partners?…

Are the men bored of hearing the women talk, is this a sign something is going wrong in the relationship, do you both need to talk about he fact your not talking like you both used to?

No the men get frustrated because they are constantly looking for ways to help women (note if he has stopped doing this then there will be a reason), the longer there is nothing to fix the more frustrated they become and so they give up.

The woman notices everything and so she sees the man give up and then gives it a meaning, such as he is going off her, doesn

She Is Looking Angry What Do You Do?

Through a lack of understanding between the sexes and what each other needs, men and women can get into conflict very quickly. So a little knowledge can turn a potential war into loving.

The first rule is don

How to keep your man happy

If you want to keep your man, then you’ll need this important secret to unlocking the power in him to make you feel like a woman.

Just like you every man is different, but…

There are some basic principals for you to understand if you are to get the best out of him, help him to feel great about himself and attach all those amazing feelings to you.

There is a myth that all men are only really interested in one thing – It’s the butt of many jokes, but is also a rule that most women believe and so live by in their relationships.

Yes it’s true men do want that, BUT..!

There is one thing that men want more than that, and until women understand this basic rule they will always find they’ll have problems with him… I’ll explain…

This is your lesson:

“Your Man wants to be able to make you happy… More than anything!”

This is important: When she is not happy then a man will think he has failed her and himself. Even if what she is not happy about is not his fault he will try to help her fix it. Nine times out of ten she doesn’t want him to fix anything and she get frustrated, because all she wants to do is share her feelings. He takes this as a rejection and further proof of his inability to help her be happy.

Did you ever notice how good he feels when he does something you really like?

If a man starts to experience that his efforts are not making his partner happy he will start to feel really bad about himself. He will then at some point have his thoughts confirmed as his partner will mention she is not happy with his behaviour on some level.

If a man experiences this too many times he will stop trying to please her, because to him whatever he does will be pointless and will associate him with failure and more bad feelings to attach to his woman. If he loves her he will hate these feelings and reject himself further.

He will feel totally insignificant in the relationship and go to where in can feel important outside of the relationship. This could be friends, hobbies, working late or if he is feeling a real failure an affair could be an option.

This will cause even more problems because whatever he’s is doing it is not spending time with her. The woman will now be left alone, feel unappreciated and she will complain about that. This feeds even more proof that he can never be successful with her.

So what’s the solution? How can you keep him?

Give him as many ways to please you as possible. Make it really easy for him to make you feel good, when he starts feeling like a man again it won’t belong before he makes you feel like a woman.

If you want something fixed go to him with something you know he can fix. If you want to share your feelings, go talk to your girl friends or keep it to ten minutes with him, but no more, because he does not have a clue what you are talking about. Remember to let him know he does not have to do or say anything, just listen.

When he starts to feel that he is at last doing a good job, he will start to want to do more, he will feel great about himself and attach his great feeling and success to his woman.

Understanding his needs are critical for your relationship to be success get addicted to doing that and he will never leave you!