Is Changing Him a Good Idea?

February 4, 2012 By Stephen Hedger 2 Comments

Some women are asking their men to be more sensitive, to share their thoughts, emotions, worries and to become more vulnerable. They want this because they see this as the solution to their relationship problems.

The reason this desire for men to connect emotionally from women is because the women feel that their men are detached from their inner emotions. They know that their partners don’t understand them, because they struggle to be understood.

Women try so hard to be understood, but become frustrated when they know they are not. Not being understood from a female perspective can feel fearful and lonely. In this place her security that the relationship is going to be the way she wants, it is challenged.

Men at this point feel nagged, criticised, put down as she tries to get through to him… [Read more...]

Filed Under: Couples coaching Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Why Is He Ignoring Me?

July 30, 2010 By Stephen Hedger Leave a Comment

Many women have a question that worries them and keeps coming up in the relationship coaching sessions… “Why is he ignoring me?”

There is about a billions reasons why he could be ignoring you, which one have you decided to focus on? The chances are it’s probably the worst one, which means “you’re feeling you are not going to be enough for him” and that scares you”

But did you know this fear is likely to drive him away if he also misunderstands you in the same way. So lets stop this one right now, to protect you both from each others fears.

When a woman goes quiet what does this mean?

When a woman goes quiet on a man it means trouble is brewing. When a man goes quiet on a woman it means he is happy and content in his world. So the fact that women think he is ignoring her is a perception rather than a fact, that drives problems out of nowhere.

The same situations and two different meanings can cause so many confusions. Relationships are riddled with exactly this problem, where the wrong meanings are created.

The fact is men don’t like talking in the same way that women talk, actually men hate it!

Women can talk for hours on the phone, men will spend 30 seconds.

It’s dangerous to create meanings out of assumptions, because you will always be wrong. If you believe your meanings you will feel bad and attach those bad feelings to him, and this will start to break down the foundations of the relationship and that means you can no longer trust each other.

Find out the truth, then react, and above all, no matter what is going on…
DO NOT JUDGE HIM! YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED!

Plus he will start to see you as someone he can’t trust, to believe in him. He will then see the relationship as somewhere he can never be the man he wants to be, he will attach massive pain to a future with you and leaving you will be powerful in his mind if these feeling stick.

Or he will become a boy in the relationship, always ready to do as you ask, ready to be stepped on by you. Turn your man into this and you will lose respect for the boy that you have created out of the man that just wanted to make you happy.

Is this what you really want?

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Relationship Coaching Be Your Own Personal Relationship Psychologist

June 25, 2010 By Stephen Hedger 2 Comments

Are you considering getting help from a relationship expert, but are concerned about the fees and if it will work or not?

If so what are your options?

Going to a professional to get professional relationship help is a big step for any couple. The biggest worries are how much will it cost and what type of relationship help is going to work for us.

Do you choose

  • Relationship Counselling
  • Relationship Therapy
  • Relationship Coaching

A professional low cost session with a counsellor/therapist would cost you about

Filed Under: Relationship Coaching, Relationship Test, Save A Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , ,