If you have discovered that the chemistry has gone in your relationship, discover what’s happening and what to do to change it.
People in new relationships experience a powerful natural high where the excitement of a new person they are attracted to drives their hormones so crazy they can’t think straight.
They feel a massive magnetic pull that seems to be out of their control and so they can’t get enough of each other.
So what is really happening? Nature is very smart. There are explosions of feel good, mood changing chemicals are surging into the body from the brain. The individuals both love the feelings these chemicals create and so they attach these feeling to each other.
What the couple don’t know is, it’s the feeling that their own chemicals give them is what they like. Their new partner is simply the trigger.
Fears stop the feel good chemicals flowing
This excitement about their new partner will change as soon as one person in the couple starts to create a fear, or insecurity about themselves, or they may fear getting emotionally hurt if they get too attached or can see a future they don’t like.
Their body in this fear state now starts to release a very different chemical, and this one does not feel good at all. They then attach this feeling to their partner and this creates a very different mood between them.
This changes their behavior and so now what started at as an attachment of passion and excitement is now an attachment of fear that will drive them away from the relationship. This happens in established relationships too.
If they feel too fearful they will stop calling or become distant. This may result in the rejected party chasing to get them back to that fun place.
The more they chase the further and faster they will run. So if this has happened to you, careful communication is critical.
You need to show you care, but allow them space to get over their fears and come back to you when they are ready. If you try to force someone in a fear state to come back they will only attach more fears to being with you!
The great fun sexual chemistry will come back as soon as they are over the fears they have attached to you being with you.
Once they are over this stage and you have helped and respected their feelings and fears then when they come back your relationship will be much stronger than it was before.
So keep a cool head and give your new date or partner, space and time to want to be with you.
I remember in my early 20′s a girl finished with me and so I sent her flowers and thanked her for the time we had and left it there.
Four weeks later she told me she made a mistake and wanted me back.
She created a fear and then made me responsible for it. You can’t control what others do, but you can control how you conduct yourself and if you are always true to who you really are then you can’t go wrong.
Remember: You will only lose the ones that were never right for you.
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