Why Do Women Ask For a Divorce?

What used to surprise me when I first started my practice, was how many men actively searched and came for help with their marriage problems.

When you see as many couples with marriage problems as I have over the years, you can’t help but see patterns emerge.

What I found most fascinating is the men were searching for help, but the point they searched was mainly when his wife had asked for a divorce.

Volumes of men on the verge of losing their partners, spring into action when she drops the bomb.

When they both get to a session, her position is usually definite. I’m not in love with him anymore, I appreciate him looking for help, but I’ve been telling him I’ve been unhappy for years. I’ve asked him to search for professional help in the past, it’s great he’s eventually done it, but for me it’s too late.

I know for both parties this situation it’s very worrying. For him he usually hasn’t understood the severity of how she’s been feeling and that’s because what she says and what he hears is two different things.

For her she can’t believe he has let this go on for so long (clearly he can’t love her), she has done her crying and now she’s detached, numb and feels that leaving him to be on her own is for the best.

Her only concern is her children and that’s usually why she’s sat in front of me.

So why has she asked for a divorce?

Of course she will present many reasons, but the core challenge is this.

She feels she can’t trust him to help her feel what she wants to feel in the marriage. The result is she can’t now see a future. In fact if she looks at her future all she sees is pain for her if she stays with him.

She will also feel she has changed and she doesn’t like who she is when she’s with him. She could complain of feeling trapped, not safe and from this position she’s likely to reject any loving act from him.

With proof stacking that she feels wrong with him, she has been waiting for the day when she feels so numb that leaving him won’t hurt her. The day she drops the bomb is that day.

What underpins this is for her is she’s spent years trying to get through to him. Why does it have to get this bad for her before he will wake up to the pain she’s been in for years?

For her this is a man who doesn’t care and so she knows she will feel better on her own.

Now I know that most men in this situation just didn’t know what to do, so they hoped it would pass. Men please hear me if she is telling you she is unhappy and she needs external help she’s not joking.

Unchecked she will grow whatever is in her mind without you knowing, she will quietly look for problems and she will find them and attach them to you.

So men what’s the solution, because on the face of it all hope has gone. I’m here to tell you that it is possible to win her back, but I need you to follow these two steps.

  1. Sign up to get my FREE Marriage in Crisis Guide.
  2. Read the letter I will send you and take me up on my free offer to help you understand your marriage and why you are in this place.

I specialise in marital trauma and have powerful strategies that can be used to help couples come back from the edge time is not on your side so please act now.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.