Marriage Counselling London

Are you looking for marriage counselling for your relationship problems in London?

Stephen Hedger has been a relationship coach for the past 10 years helping couples with a full range of common and not so common problems.

Your session will begin with an assessment of where you think you both are. This is usually very different to where you really are as your problems are likely to feel worse because you’re living in your problems.

Please note: If your partner is not interested in coming don‘t worry. When you understanding your issues you will learn how to change your behaviours and this will result in them changing theirs without knowing.

The focus of your session will be on exploring your critical needs in the context of your relationship, so we can start to understand what’s been missing for you and your partner.

If your critical needs are missing then you will have problems as you both fight to get them.

This can create a state of confusion in both of you, this causes fear for your future and what usually comes out is anger.

  • You will learn about how the sexes communicate, speak and listen in totally different ways
  • You will learn how to understand arguments
  • You will discover how to mend the trust that’s been lost through confusion
  • You will learn exactly how to meet you partners needs to secure your future together

No matter where you both are step-by-step changes are possible once you commit to making a change.

I’ll look forward to helping you.

Kind regards

Stephen Hedger

Relationship Coach

The Power of Persuasion

Imagine having the power to be able to get people to do things you want them to do and make it seem like it was their idea?

I can see the devil in you at work already.

The art of persuasion is all around us, companies wanting us to buy things, partners wanting us to do things for them, sales people trying to convince you that what they have to sell just happens to be something that you need right now!

Rapport is the key

The quickest way to help someone see things your way is to get into rapport with them and discover how you can see the world from their perspective.

What you are after is for them to trust you, when they trust you they are far more likely to respect your views and listen to your ideas.

For example a sales man that tries to sell you a car because it’s cheaper than the big flash dealership down the road. Has made an assumption that price is what will make you buy. What you really want to know is, you will be looked after through the servicing of the car and if things go wrong.

Or how about the handsome guy who spends all night telling his date how great he is, and how cool his expensive his car is. Clearly missing the point that what she wants is, to feel great about herself when she’s with him. All he mastered was how to make himself feel good, and totally left her out.

The key to persuasion is presenting what you have to offer in a way that respects the needs of the people you’re communicating to. When they know you understand their needs and they feel good about themselves in your company then they are more likely to make the decision you wanted.

Rapport is one the critical keys to the art of persuasion.

Learning the art of rapport is beautiful art form of communication and one of the areas of NLP I personally enjoy the most.

  • If your interested to learn how to get into rapport for business or personal
    reasons please make contact with NLP Coach Stephen Hedger today

The golden rule for a successful relationship?

What feelings is your partner attaching to you
without you knowing?

No matter whether you’re dating, married, or trying to save your relationship there is one rule that you must know.

When you help someone to feel great about themselves when they are in your company, they will attach all their great feelings to time spent with you.

But beware, the reverse is also true and you may not know it’s happening.

Become an anchor for happiness

Help your partner to feel great about themselvess when they are with you today, this is the single best action you can take for relationship success. All of their senses will tune into your voice, the way you look, the way you smell and where they were when they felt great, these are triggers being created for moments in time, this is what we call an anchor.

When a past memory is created, it can be remembered through a trigger such as a sound, a sight or a smell that is the same or similar to that past experience.

This anchoring process is at play when people are dating. It is one of the reason the couple can’t get enough of each other. They both get addicted to their own feelings and then crave more of each other.

Longer term successful relationships still need those anchors to survive.

Whilst our relationship values change as the relationship matures. Values like long term security become one of the anchors that help us all to feel good about ourselves in our relationships.

We still need to feel confident that our partners care enough to want us to feel great and that the relationship is not being held together by just one person.

For example a woman may feel that she is being taken for granted. So now she’s attaching bad feeling to the man. She may take all that built up anger out on him over something small which to him seems an emotional over reaction.

Now both people in this relationship are starting to attach bad feelings to each other.

She is at fault for assuming he is a mind reader and knows what she is feeling. He is at fault for assuming he knows what’s caused her to become upset. Confused they both attach bad feelings to each other.

It’s the little things

Of course these little things will not break the relationship, but over time they can build-up, and resentment can become a very powerful emotion that can override the value of security.

When your partner attaches a lack of security to you then the relationship is in real trouble.

Relationships that are in trouble have helped either one or both people to experience bad feelings and attached those feeling to their partners, avoid this today.

Discover how you can help your partner to feel great about themselves in your company and take action now! Your relationships are valuable so look after them.

Re-ignite those good anchors. One great idea is to re-create a time when you both felt great such as a first date or a special restaurant. Take yourselves back in time and remember all the reason why you got together in the beginning.

Try it and let me know how you get on in your comments section below.

Relationship Problems – Communication Breakdown

Is communication with your partner getting harder?

relationship problems- communication breakdown

If you are experiencing relationship problems it’s very likely that a confusion in communication is at the root of the problem.

Your partner could be left with the wrong impression of you, and you’ll never know until it’s too late. As soon as your partner starts attaching bad feelings to you, it’s time to take action, because things can get out of hand fast for all the wrong reasons.

Men and women are totally different in the way they view the world and their relationship, so understanding the meaning behind their words is critical.

When someone speaks, what happens is you respond to them based on your interpretation of what they said. What you are hearing is not what they are thinking when they communicated those words. So a distortion of the meaning is highly likely.

Arguments are very often the fault of a loss of meaning in the translation.

What we do is we make up a assumption of the meaning and argue about the translation of the words rather than the actual intention.

Arguments can go round in circles like this as an interpretation of words is thrown back and forth and then denied… “…NO!… That’s not what I said!” “… YES IT WAS!”

If you want to understand what your partner is communicating try to get more information before you respond emotionally.

Get specifics from them about their meaning and discover their intentions behind their words, very often you will discover that the intentions are good and not what you initially thought.

Clear communication and understanding is critical to any relationship

If you are having persistent relationship problems and would like to book
some time with Stephen please choose one of the booking options below.