10 Harley Street London W1G 9PF
When a marriage hits a crisis what the individuals do next could change their lives forever.
So finding the right help is critical.
This short document written by marriage in crisis expert Stephen Hedger shares his thinking that has lead many couples to seek his guidance and rebuild their lives out of their crisis.
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Testimonial: When Darren and I first came to see Stephen, Darren and I were very disconnected in our relationship.
We were in the midst of a power struggle and were successfully bringing out the worst in each other in our relationship.
We had tried couples counselling and this had been unsuccessful. I am a trained counsellor myself.
Stephen’s approach was very different to what we had experienced in couples counselling. He challenged our thinking, tested our commitment, highlighted our own inconsistencies and steered us towards focusing on how we each wanted life to be.
He works at a fast pace.
With his support and commitment he pushed us both forwards until we had no choice but to take the leap of faith into the type of relationship we wanted or to separate.
Darren and I are now on a new path with a positive growthful outlook for ourselves and our two children.
Couples can feel very stuck because they have tried what they know to make their marriage work but it's not been enough.
Getting through to their partner can seems hopeless, some have even tried marriage counselling and that hasn’t worked either. They don’t want to stay in a failing marriage, but breaking up their family feels wrong too.
It’s totally normal for an individual in a marriage to feel their love for their partner has died for good. Teaching the couple how to reattachment happens is key to getting them gain the answers they desire.
Most couples start their process with Stephen were convinced their marriage was dead.
Typical questions are:
The answer to all these questions is yes.
Stephen Hedger offers his clients this powerfully successful approach to fixing their marriage problems through his Marriage Breakthrough Program.
The reasons couples struggle to fix their problems is because of 3 key factors.
1. They are limited by what they believe is possible.
2. They don’t know what to do to fix their problems.
3. They don’t know how to keep the relationship alive.
The result is they are trying to fix their problems with what they think will work. They keep getting the wrong result and so assume the problems are impossible to fix, or they are incompatible.
The route to success is helping the couple learn what will really work. You will experience this live in your sessions.
The main difference is a defined strategy based on a clear plan that’s created so the couple can track their progress.
The couple will go through an educational step by step process.
Each person will be helped to get the best from themselves.
They will both learn how to understand and get the best out of their partner.
The process is designed to gain a Win-Win outcome.
All of this new information help disconnected individuals learn how to safely reinvest back into the marriage.
"The thinking that created the problems is not the thinking that will solve them"
• Couples need to understand the core foundations that make up how each person experiences the relationship and why.
• What these foundations create is a framework by which each person has the ability to to evolve the relationship and each persons emotional experience within it.
• This means their typical patterns will naturally change and this mean they can gain new outcomes and thus new connections.
It's why couples on the edge of divorce who learn this process are then telling me their relationship has never been better.
Below are a few of the critical factors that make up the foundations
that pulls couples back from the edge of divorce
Most people with relationship problems lose a sense of who they are as they try to cope with their problems
Not understanding how your partner thinks and feels will create massive problems. Men and women naturally see the world very differently.
Couples with problems can really struggle to communicate with each other. Understanding why and how to correct this is critical.
Understanding and meeting each others needs is critical. Most couples have no idea how to do this and this leads to a loss of trust.
Growing closer from conflict is the fastest way to rebuild trust and respect the no.1 problem that leads to divorce.
Sexual connection struggles if the couple don’t meet each others needs. When the needs are not met the trust dies.
These are just a few of the influencing factor that couples will need to understand
Tim and I went to see Stephen Hedger because after nearly twenty years together our relationship seemed to have fallen into an unhappy rut which neither of us knew how to get out of.
Tension, resentment and insecurities crept in over several years and gradually increased to the point that the atmosphere at home became quite hostile which affected our children and made everyone unhappy.
We had several sessions with Stephen over three months. It’s hard to describe Stephen’s methods but he has a remarkable knowledge and perception of people, their brains and emotional responses.
The results have far exceeded our expectations. We had hoped to get out of the unhappy rut and stop the negative spiral our relationship had developed.
Without wishing to sound weird or cheesy, Stephen appears somehow to have re focused our hearts and minds and completely turned us around.
Tim & I feel immensely grateful to Stephen and would highly recommend him, he’s very good value!
My wife told me out of the blue that she loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. This came as a complete shock to me.
As we have a young child we agreed that we would go and see a couples counsellor – The sessions were bleak, depressing and frankly fairly poisonous – they made us both feel awful about ourselves and our relationship.
One day I found Stephen’s website and it was clear that his approach was completely different. I called his office straight away and spoke to him later that day. We only spoke for 10 minutes but those 10 minutes made more sense and gave me more hope than several hours with the previous counsellor ever did.
We moved into his premium 3 month programme. This was the best decision we made. Stephen clearly put a huge amount of thought and planning into our couples sessions and that paid massive dividends for us.
We have now reconnected and are rebuilding our marriage with huge hope for the future and a completely different understanding of ourselves, each other and our relationship.
Stephen but he has already worked a miracle for us. Day by day our relationship is getting better and better when a short time ago I was convinced it was over. I cannot thank him enough for saving my marriage and my family from a situation which seemed completely devoid of hope.
With your help, we got to understand each other and from that we could defuse tensions that existed in our own minds, not necessarily real for both of us.
Working on our relationship never stops, but thanks to the help we got through working with you, we are in a much better place, and a place that now will hopefully require only us to discuss, understand and resolve.
Everybody, you can’t always solve it yourselves. So if you need guidance, Stephen is probably the best chance you have of cutting to the quick and saving the good you know you have but need someone else to voice it.
Thank you Stephen. We are fine. We are in love, and we are growing together.*
At the beginning of the year my relationship was at such a low point I was on the verge of breaking a 4 year relationship which left me in a state of anguish.
As a last ditch effort I made an appointment with Stephen Hedger, admittedly not holding out much hope?
Much to my surprise after as little as three meetings I found that there had been a marked improvement in my relationship and that I was fundamentally a lot more positive in salvaging the situation of hopelessness I felt I was in.
Stephen Hedger communicated with clarity and provided us with the tools not only to fix problems today but tools to fix problems for tomorrow.
I am now very happy in my relationship and look to the future with optimism.*
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.
Like any form of coaching the gains are always reflective of the clients investment.
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